How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Prologue "How This Critter Crits"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
170 total reviews
Comment from tlms23
This story is riveting and holds the attention from beginning to end. The story has a twist that I was not expecting. The writer is very adept at getting his reader emotionally involved and entrenched in both the story and the characters. Haven't read an author like this in quite a while. Keep up the good work, you've definitely found an audience and fans for a lifetime.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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This story is riveting and holds the attention from beginning to end. The story has a twist that I was not expecting. The writer is very adept at getting his reader emotionally involved and entrenched in both the story and the characters. Haven't read an author like this in quite a while. Keep up the good work, you've definitely found an audience and fans for a lifetime.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Thank you so much, tims23. I appreciate your confidence in my work. Keep tuned. Some good things coming.
Jay
Comment from mamaboots
Hi Jay,
This was amusing, quick paced and lively. I enjoyed it immensely :) My hat is off to you for reading those abysmal offerings - if I don't make it through the first couple of paragraphs, I move on to the next piece. I should probably stay, but if someone can't even run a spell-checker (I'm talking the obvious multiple problems here, not an occasional fat-finger or synonym mistake), then they must not care very much... I only found one place here that you might want to take a look at:
And, it simultaneously begins the second, third and fourth quarters of a new era. - I would drop the simultaneous here as 2,3,4 is sequential rather than simultaneous
I look forward to the next installment, if it is as entertaining as this, I will be hooked :) Have a great day,
mamaboots
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Hi Jay,
This was amusing, quick paced and lively. I enjoyed it immensely :) My hat is off to you for reading those abysmal offerings - if I don't make it through the first couple of paragraphs, I move on to the next piece. I should probably stay, but if someone can't even run a spell-checker (I'm talking the obvious multiple problems here, not an occasional fat-finger or synonym mistake), then they must not care very much... I only found one place here that you might want to take a look at:
And, it simultaneously begins the second, third and fourth quarters of a new era. - I would drop the simultaneous here as 2,3,4 is sequential rather than simultaneous
I look forward to the next installment, if it is as entertaining as this, I will be hooked :) Have a great day,
mamaboots
Comment Written 01-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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You are a sweetheart, mamaboots for all your kind words. I am going to go back and check out the "quarter" problem. I see what you mean. A fix is needed. Meanwhile, keep your eyes open. I hope some good stuff is just around the corner.
Jay
Comment from Donaya Haymond
Usually when I criticize, I go from the top down. I look for mistakes, and if I see none, and if there are good things there, I give it a five. Small mistakes or no mistakes but no special good things, a four. Lots of mistakes but great idea, a three. Utterly without redeeming qualities, a very rare two. I never give ones. On the receiving end, I got a two once, and four or five threes. They hurt, but one three-giver came back and gave me a five on a later work, and that was victory.
Your prose is amusing and friendly, and I enjoy reading it.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Usually when I criticize, I go from the top down. I look for mistakes, and if I see none, and if there are good things there, I give it a five. Small mistakes or no mistakes but no special good things, a four. Lots of mistakes but great idea, a three. Utterly without redeeming qualities, a very rare two. I never give ones. On the receiving end, I got a two once, and four or five threes. They hurt, but one three-giver came back and gave me a five on a later work, and that was victory.
Your prose is amusing and friendly, and I enjoy reading it.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Thank you so very much, Raven, for your kind words... and input on your method of critting, some of which I may steal -- with your permission -- for my succeeding chapters. Thanks again,
Jay
Comment from Kingsland
this is a very well written essay
I found no discernable errors there in
you have discribed your adventures on fanstory really well
this was my pleasure to read and review... John
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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this is a very well written essay
I found no discernable errors there in
you have discribed your adventures on fanstory really well
this was my pleasure to read and review... John
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Thank you, John, for your kind words. Stay tuned... I hope we can have some fun with the segments coming up. I'm working on the outline now, and should have it in some sort of final form in a couple of weeks. The best to you on your writing.
Jay
Comment from Sissy
Hi jay,
I'm interested to follow along on this one. Everyone has their own opinions and their own specialties when they review, and those unique facets are what make this site so great when you are looking for help. Yes, there is some bad with the good, but there's an awful-lotta damn good. :)
Couple things to check out, sir:
Neither does my good friend Mr. Spell-Check(.) "It's not a real word," he tells me
There were also a fair number of superb submissions who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. (You know, I'm always confused about plurals and numbers, and I recently read it should be apostrophed, like " 5's " and " 6's ". What say you?
Great job!
Sissy
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Hi jay,
I'm interested to follow along on this one. Everyone has their own opinions and their own specialties when they review, and those unique facets are what make this site so great when you are looking for help. Yes, there is some bad with the good, but there's an awful-lotta damn good. :)
Couple things to check out, sir:
Neither does my good friend Mr. Spell-Check(.) "It's not a real word," he tells me
There were also a fair number of superb submissions who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. (You know, I'm always confused about plurals and numbers, and I recently read it should be apostrophed, like " 5's " and " 6's ". What say you?
Great job!
Sissy
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2006
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Sissy ~ Thank you so much for your wonderfully kind review. "Sir"... you call me "sir"? LOL. So, one by one: Did I leave out the period after "Spell-Check"? I'll check that out. About the 6s or 6's, I've been looking through the resource I simply love, entitled "Woe Is I," by Patricia T. O'Conner (get it if you don't have it!) and unfortunately, after that big build up, I can't find it. But, I'm sure she said you don't need, or possibly shouldn't use, the apostrophe. Sissy, I can't tell you how pleased I am to get such a favorable review from someone I admire so much! Thank you.
Jay
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Hi jay,
I was looking over some websites that I had saved, found this.
See what you think! (Unfortunately, there are probably just as many that say otherwise!!)
--writing down the book, by the way! Will see if I can find--
http://www.stpt.usf.edu/pms/apostrophe.html
Sissy
Comment from Ritsal
I love the tag "critter." This reads well with a good amount of tongue-in-cheek humor. Reviewing is a popular subject in the forums, leading to numerous debates.
As loose and disorganized as my critting has been, these past three months, = I don't believe the first comma is needed
If the writing were very good = was?
There were also a fair number of superb submissions who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. Using an exclamation after alas leaves an incomplete sentence
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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I love the tag "critter." This reads well with a good amount of tongue-in-cheek humor. Reviewing is a popular subject in the forums, leading to numerous debates.
As loose and disorganized as my critting has been, these past three months, = I don't believe the first comma is needed
If the writing were very good = was?
There were also a fair number of superb submissions who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. Using an exclamation after alas leaves an incomplete sentence
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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I appreciate your thoughtful crit. The comma was misplaced, thank you. I'll correct that in a minute. After "if" were is correct. It is called the subjunctive mood, and,yes, "was" looks better. The exclamation point (with only one space after "alas") is correct as an exclamation in the middle of a sentence. Stay tuned, Rita... I hope to have some real fun with the second installment. Thanks again for the comment and the correction.
Jay
Comment from kintesiegel
This is an interesting read and subject. I think that a critical review might be very informative. I'll give you a five, for example, for coming up with the idea and writing pretty well. Are you asking for feedback or are you just clarifying things for yourself?
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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This is an interesting read and subject. I think that a critical review might be very informative. I'll give you a five, for example, for coming up with the idea and writing pretty well. Are you asking for feedback or are you just clarifying things for yourself?
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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Kinda both. The feedback is important, but as with almost all my writing the process is a clarifying moment. I often don't now how stupid (or smart) I am until I finish a piece, then say "you idiot!" or Ah-ha!" Thanks for the 5 star rating. I appreciate your confidence and hope I don't disappoint you with the segments that follow.
Jay
Comment from suneagle
I enjoyed reading this, Jay, it was amusing, but also contained some good messages for FanStory members. I've noted some observations you may like to consider:
During those years writing was in my blood. ( ... years, writing ... [Comma inserted.])
So what that Mr. Spell-Check doesn't like it. What does that anal-retentive pedant know? (Something inconsistent here. You rejected "Critiquer" because "Mr. Spell-Check ... an anal-retentive pedant" didn't know it - yet you accept "Critter" although the same pedant doesn't like it. Tut-tut. LOL )
fill you in on some other stuff.
My other job (Notice the repetition of "other". Could you use a synonym for one instance?)
As a businessman, I know that to be successful, you have to know how to keep score. (Notice the repetition of "know". You could avoid it by using "understand" in one instance: As a businessman, I understand that ... )
We're all Critters. (I guess, I should ask: What wrong with just being a reviewer? ;) )
And, it simultaneously begins the second, third and fourth quarters of a new era. (How can the "third and fourth quarters" "simultaneously" begin at the start of the second?)
And, a percentage about as small as the superb group was simply abysmal. (The use of "was" and "were" with group nouns often depends on what is in the writer's mind. Here you are still referring to the individuals within the "percentage" and, in my opinion, you should again use were: ... were simply abysmal.)
If the writing were very good, the writer got 5 stars. (That's past tense and singular. It should read: If the writing was very good, ... )
who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. ( ... because, alas, I had ... [Put the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence or place it in parenthesis: ... because (alas!), I had ... ])
on what they could do to improve their submission. (submissions [plural])
Their grammar is atrocious once you figure out what the words are that are laid out on the screen before you. (I appreciate the difficulty in what you're trying to say, but it still sounds awkward. You could write: Their grammar is atrocious once you figure what is on the screen, compared to what you believe they meant. )
what they might want to consider changing this, adding here or deleting over there. (The word "this" seems redundant and should be deleted.)
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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I enjoyed reading this, Jay, it was amusing, but also contained some good messages for FanStory members. I've noted some observations you may like to consider:
During those years writing was in my blood. ( ... years, writing ... [Comma inserted.])
So what that Mr. Spell-Check doesn't like it. What does that anal-retentive pedant know? (Something inconsistent here. You rejected "Critiquer" because "Mr. Spell-Check ... an anal-retentive pedant" didn't know it - yet you accept "Critter" although the same pedant doesn't like it. Tut-tut. LOL )
fill you in on some other stuff.
My other job (Notice the repetition of "other". Could you use a synonym for one instance?)
As a businessman, I know that to be successful, you have to know how to keep score. (Notice the repetition of "know". You could avoid it by using "understand" in one instance: As a businessman, I understand that ... )
We're all Critters. (I guess, I should ask: What wrong with just being a reviewer? ;) )
And, it simultaneously begins the second, third and fourth quarters of a new era. (How can the "third and fourth quarters" "simultaneously" begin at the start of the second?)
And, a percentage about as small as the superb group was simply abysmal. (The use of "was" and "were" with group nouns often depends on what is in the writer's mind. Here you are still referring to the individuals within the "percentage" and, in my opinion, you should again use were: ... were simply abysmal.)
If the writing were very good, the writer got 5 stars. (That's past tense and singular. It should read: If the writing was very good, ... )
who only got 5s because, alas! I had already squandered my 6s. ( ... because, alas, I had ... [Put the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence or place it in parenthesis: ... because (alas!), I had ... ])
on what they could do to improve their submission. (submissions [plural])
Their grammar is atrocious once you figure out what the words are that are laid out on the screen before you. (I appreciate the difficulty in what you're trying to say, but it still sounds awkward. You could write: Their grammar is atrocious once you figure what is on the screen, compared to what you believe they meant. )
what they might want to consider changing this, adding here or deleting over there. (The word "this" seems redundant and should be deleted.)
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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Some very good points, suneagle (are you sure you feel comfortable giving me a 4? I've read your quantative criteria. I will happily change some of them, with a nod and a bow to you. Others, I might quarrel over. At this time I simply want to thank you for the enormous amout of time you had to spend on my short piece. It is appreciated. I will let you know of the corrections tomorrow (if you want to know) and the few things that I would be reluctant to change. Let me know if that's satisfactory to you; otherwise, I'll take my four and go waltzing on my way...
Jay
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Yes, I thought 4 stars was appropriate, Jay. Some of my observations were comments rather than suggestions, and certainly not criticisms. I'm always happy to receive feedback on my reviews and discuss any points of disagreement. :)
Comment from Marjorie D.
What a clever piece of writing! Not only did you manage to entertain, you probably succeeded in getting yourself off the hook with scores of FanStory writers, you wickedly sly man.
"How This Critter Crits" is charming and funny. Your offhanded humor is a pleasure to read.
I'm looking forward to your next post.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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What a clever piece of writing! Not only did you manage to entertain, you probably succeeded in getting yourself off the hook with scores of FanStory writers, you wickedly sly man.
"How This Critter Crits" is charming and funny. Your offhanded humor is a pleasure to read.
I'm looking forward to your next post.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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Now that you found out WHY I wrote it, I invite you to read the follow-up chapters. I hope to have some fun with it. And, thank you, Marjorie for your very generous crit.
Jay
Comment from Mzhurst
LOL, a confession. I love it. I really get frustrated with the crits who reap praise on a story and then reward a 4. I have become a little more lenient if I judge the writing to be really good but it needs a comma or two.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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LOL, a confession. I love it. I really get frustrated with the crits who reap praise on a story and then reward a 4. I have become a little more lenient if I judge the writing to be really good but it needs a comma or two.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2006
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Oh, I know you! Thank you so much, Mzhurst, for your kindness. So... did I miss a comma or two. Sorry, too late to drag it back to a 4. I hope I don't disappoint on the followup. Thanks again.
Jay
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LOL, Peaks around to see if I am conspicous. Do I have a bad reputation? I DIDN"T DO IT>>>>