Reviews from

Zerubbabel Baxter

rhyming quatrains in 6/5/6/5

148 total reviews 
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ding, ding, you win! Stubborn resistance, stubborn insistence will get you nowhere. This delightful story has the authentic ring and stamp of truth written all over it. Many have devised plans that most certainly would have worked, only to have things fail miserably because of the stubborn resistance of someone who wanted things done their way only. Great job Brooke.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
    nomi, thank you so much :-) I appreciate your thoughtful reading of my story's message. Brooke
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, brooke, I love this cute little story about the argument that left both friends in the same place. I enjoyed reading it. sawyer just looks tired and happy at the same time. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
    sweetwoodjax, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Brooke;
Thank you so much for helping me with the proper saying of the name Zaeubbabel for I did not get it right my first try.
I enjoyed reading this short story within a poem very much it was very entertaining and enjoyable to read.
Your rhyming and meter and tempo of your rhythm was truly done very well and flowed smoothly throughout your poem while you're rhyming with neither forced nor labored.
Imagination again is very inventive and creative what your imagery in writing this short story is very expressive and descriptive especially within the argument that both Tee and Zee were having.
Thank you so much my friend for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
    Alex, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
reply by krys123 on 06-Aug-2014
    You are so sincerely welcome my friend.
    Alex
Comment from gypsycaravan
Excellent
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I love this poem and the artwork. Your poem just sings, it is so lyrical and fun to read aloud. So sad the ship will sink at the end and all could have been saved with a little bit of compromise.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014
    gypsycaravan, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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HI Brooke, very cute story...and yes what a name...they should have flipped a coin...or whatever they used back then...very cute and very well written...what do you think Sawyer is thinking in this picture???...hmmmm...now really look at that face...LOL...Love it you...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
    Linda, thank you so much, my friend :-) This picture was taken during a play date right after he had taught his friend Aaron how to disassemble his table umbrella, so I'm pretty sure he was thinking how pleased he was with himself. LOL :-) Brooke
reply by l.raven on 05-Aug-2014
    LMBO!!!! OMG....tooooo funny....maybe he wanted a tan...LOL...always thinking ahead that boy....LOL...I think of the look on Miranda's face...what now Sawyer...???!!!
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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Zerubbabe is a delightful name and to be able to make a fun and equally delightful story in a poem with it is amazing. I really got a kick out of this one and love the ending. Makes me wonder how many can relate to being so stubborn they miss out on all the fun stuff they could have done. Excellent work with this one and I wish you all the best in the contest too.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
    Thank you so very much, Valerie :-) Brooke
Comment from Curly Girly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent, Brooke. This was such fun to read.
You wrote:
said no to this quest,
Suggest:
said, "No," to this quest,
*is my suggestion right or wrong?

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
    Thanks so much for your generous sixth star, Curly Girly, and for your thoughtful feedback. I normally put quotation marks around dialogue, but with something this short, I just do away with all that punctuation. Also with an answer with this short, we could argue it's an indirect, not a direct quotation, but there is certainly nothing wrong with doing it the way you suggest. :-) Brooke
reply by Curly Girly on 06-Aug-2014
    Okay, thanks, Brooke.
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
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What a great write. I smiled all the way through. I admire you because you have kept true to your word in producing love and legacy for your family. The little boy is a symbol of perseverance and gratitude, gratitude for the love he brings to you which is mirrored in your never waning affectionate writes.

A very well done and God Bless you family and keep them in good heart for a faultless display of love and affection.
Best wishes,
RGstar

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
    RG, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from rmj09
Excellent
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A poem telling an excellent story about two boys and a ship, being the focus.
The story develops with the boys after a beast who is eating all the starfish. Only to have their ship at the bottom of the sea.
You have very good rhythm to the poem with the words which cause them to cascade down each row.
Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
    thanks so much, rmj09 :-) Brooke
Comment from marion
Excellent
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Oh wow! Adewpearl strikes again! What can I say. Thoroughly enjoyable! And unique! My only comment on this one is this: Why here -

could bring to these sailors,
Tobias and Zee.

Is this last line why is it not Tee and Zee?

Because in stanza one they they appear to be friends that make plans. And each has (whose friends called him Zee) (whose friends called him Tee)

Hows that! There's rarely a time I get to ask you a questioning question!!!

I loved it.

Marion.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
    Marion, thank you so very much :-) The only reason is because of the meter/syllable count - the narrator is the one speaking, not one of the guys. Brooke