Old Decrepit Woman Revised.
Written about a painting I saw.177 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of vivid descriptive detail to create mood and excellent use of alliteration in the phrase bruised and beaten baby
also, good alliteration in ravished and ripped apart like a raisin
I'm not sure the image of a raisin losing its breath works well for me
good use of abcb rhyme in stanzas two and three and good proximate rhyming of baby/lady in stanza one.
The emotion and vivid detail in your poem make it clear that this painting truly inspired you. Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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excellent use of vivid descriptive detail to create mood and excellent use of alliteration in the phrase bruised and beaten baby
also, good alliteration in ravished and ripped apart like a raisin
I'm not sure the image of a raisin losing its breath works well for me
good use of abcb rhyme in stanzas two and three and good proximate rhyming of baby/lady in stanza one.
The emotion and vivid detail in your poem make it clear that this painting truly inspired you. Brooke
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you brooke.
Comment from Artasylum
Well I have started working with the Convalescent Homes for this very reason... we have a whole country of people we have thrown away and they are very much alive and deserving and needing love. Love to see more people discover this forgotten part of our society... yours, diana
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Well I have started working with the Convalescent Homes for this very reason... we have a whole country of people we have thrown away and they are very much alive and deserving and needing love. Love to see more people discover this forgotten part of our society... yours, diana
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you Art.
Comment from Freeflyer
The tired old lady has many maps of pain and hardship etched on her face. You have brought her picture to life with a gory tale.
Well done. A great read.
Freeflyer
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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The tired old lady has many maps of pain and hardship etched on her face. You have brought her picture to life with a gory tale.
Well done. A great read.
Freeflyer
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you flyer.
Comment from carmen vargas
Moving poem where the author pays tribute to the woman injured, hit screaming and no one helps. End in the well and no one hears their cries Verses fluids. Beautiful sensory images. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Moving poem where the author pays tribute to the woman injured, hit screaming and no one helps. End in the well and no one hears their cries Verses fluids. Beautiful sensory images. Congratulations.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you Carmen.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Boz Roz:
I was very touched by your Ekprhastic poem which
reminds me so very much of the famine in Africa -
so many people dying every day - especially children,
tiny babies, who have never had a chance to live.
I am so excited that you are back
I look forward to reading your works often
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Boz Roz:
I was very touched by your Ekprhastic poem which
reminds me so very much of the famine in Africa -
so many people dying every day - especially children,
tiny babies, who have never had a chance to live.
I am so excited that you are back
I look forward to reading your works often
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
It's funny how one picture can trigger so many things for one person. I love how you painted this picture with your words. Great job
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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It's funny how one picture can trigger so many things for one person. I love how you painted this picture with your words. Great job
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice piece ofwriting about a painting. On reading it withour reading the notes, one thinks it's all about a real person. Very well done
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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This is a nice piece ofwriting about a painting. On reading it withour reading the notes, one thinks it's all about a real person. Very well done
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you.
Comment from Matoshka
Wow! I really enjoyed your picture, words and Author's notes. This was a beautiful piece. What a story of Poseidon and his sacrificial needs. I enjoyed this very much. Blessings
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Wow! I really enjoyed your picture, words and Author's notes. This was a beautiful piece. What a story of Poseidon and his sacrificial needs. I enjoyed this very much. Blessings
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you.
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You are very welcome. Blessings
Comment from pickthorn
A sad but well written poem depicting the life of an aged Mexican woman that will soon perish from a long hard and cruel life. The old decrepit woman lived an innocent life as best she could. A great composition. You need to correct several spags in your Author Notes.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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A sad but well written poem depicting the life of an aged Mexican woman that will soon perish from a long hard and cruel life. The old decrepit woman lived an innocent life as best she could. A great composition. You need to correct several spags in your Author Notes.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you .
Comment from Lena Borghi
Interesting depiction of this work of art as it affected you, evidence that art evokes different things in different people. I do not see this woman as decrepit at all, she looks strong to me despite her aged, worn appearance, like any moment she will bend over and pick up some firewood for her hearth and like she has a wealth of life experience.
You have some strong images here, and also a most interesting personification in the "raisin losing its breath." I think there are a lot of themes going on here at the same time, it makes it difficult to get into a thought pattern or focus and see a progression. I thank you for your notes which help to see your frame of reference better.
Best to you,
Lena
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Interesting depiction of this work of art as it affected you, evidence that art evokes different things in different people. I do not see this woman as decrepit at all, she looks strong to me despite her aged, worn appearance, like any moment she will bend over and pick up some firewood for her hearth and like she has a wealth of life experience.
You have some strong images here, and also a most interesting personification in the "raisin losing its breath." I think there are a lot of themes going on here at the same time, it makes it difficult to get into a thought pattern or focus and see a progression. I thank you for your notes which help to see your frame of reference better.
Best to you,
Lena
Comment Written 24-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2011
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Thank you Lena. Yeah I think I should have just said " Old Woman"
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Boz, it is important to say what you feel. It's different for each of us.