Comment from ooh baby

Excellent

Well Jay, I started to skip this one, but somehow you just kind of caught my interest when you started talking about looking at open houses on the weekends...even though you aren't in the market. My husband and I do that and I thought we were a little crazy. I never told anyone in our families we do this! Hahaha.
Somehow, you just drew me in and made me feel we were connected! I'm glad you did. As I read, I felt comfortable. I felt like you were sitting right here in my living room, having your Starbucks, talking to me about trying to remember to try to be as fair as possible. At least that is what I got out of this. I will remember this chapter as I go about my crits.
We really do touch our fellow writers here, and we need to think about that. Thanks, Jay. I feel like I have a new friend!

Great chapter, the pace is quick and the ideas are well organized. Thanks for your ideas!

ps...I will always think about you and Roseana when we are out cruising houses!

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Thank you ooh baby for your kind words and reaching out and touching me. I appreciate critters like you. It makes writing and critting worthwhile. Please stay tuned. More segments are enroute.

Comment from gerry26

Excellent

I really enjoyed reading this piece. You have it the truth right on the head and have done a wonderful job writting it. Interesting and funny. You have a great imagination.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Thank you so very much gerry26 for your confidence in what I wrote. There will be a lot more to come. I hope you're around to crit it. Thanks again...

Jay

Comment from Renee' J Thomas

Excellent

I liked this a lot. I love the humor you scattered everywhere.
I thought it read well and it kept my attention to the end.
This was very creative and unique.
good job

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Thank you Rose, very much, for your comments and praise. Stay tuned for future segments.

Jay

Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

lacey
lacy .... maybe

I enjoyed your Topolesque will-I-won't-I piece very much. You have a fine line in pauses and recaps, and kept me interested right to the end. You also kept my intolerance for bad phrasing and punctuation wayyyy down. I too have a problem with chapters that aren't #1... and haven't yet learned how to solve it.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Sallyo, I must confess to you I feel so validated when I get a positive crit from you. Even a negative one's good, because you are authentic. Thank you so very much. Oh! lacey .... I didn't understand what you were driving at -- thought at first it was your nickname, but you weren't sure how you wanted to spell it. You mean the curtains. Beats me. I thought it was right, but I'll look it up post-haste and possibly make a correction. I so much appreciate you.

Jay

reply by Sallyo on 03-Oct-2006

I can spell OK mostly, but now and then I spot a word that looks wrong... then I type what I think is right, and it looks wrong also!

Comment from john2844

Excellent

You write not only well but with a great sense of humor in this piece. You asked all the right questions as well. Note: I have only been a critter for a short time but I seem to have set up a system that works. But the subject is so American anyway. You have the far left after the far right and you have those in the middle ground. My policy is to never take up the politics of critting; (the finances of critting are number one, of course) it is just not beneficial, however I do like you to remind me of those pertinent questions from time to time. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Thank you for your kind and very pertinent comments. Yes Mickey Mouse financing is important. I crumble often in the face of it. Right now, for example, I've had my three reviews. If I don't Pump... It... Up in a hurry, I won't get any more.
Thanks for enjoying it.

Jay

Comment from rivki1111

Excellent

Hi, this was a nice entertaining story that has been well written...a bit of your life is in here...and i can't believe I have met someone that actually likes house hunting...I have done a fair bit of it and loathe the event...he, he, he,.

You have a nice easy-to-read style and I didn't notice anything I would change...the title to this is interesting....nothing to fix for me so it was a fiver....thanks for sharing your writing...rebekah

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Hi, Rebekah (At last, I know your first name though it will escape me the next time I review your work.) Thank you for your kind comments. I hope you'll stick around for the ones that'll be coming up.

Jay

Comment from dmjones

Excellent

Ok, I admit it I read chapter two first. It just plopped me right here as soon as I hit next. Wasn't my fault I promise. But I will go back and read chapter one now.

Oh yeah, excellent writing by the way. I also couldn't find any little nits and I did try.



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2006

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006

Yeah, I understand only too well the lure of that big 60 % and the dice staring you in the face. Thank you for reading this and for the generous rating. Please keep your eyes open for the chapters to follow.

Jay