The Secret of Happiness!
A 15 Word Poem; Give, but expect nothing in return132 total reviews
Comment from BlueTiger
I like your idea for this poem, and good job keeping the word count precise. A couple of suggestions:
I might change the word order of the first sentence to 'always give more'. Both of the first lines have unique word ordering, so you might want to cut it down to just that second line.
I would remove the first exclamation point also, as two seems a bit much for this piece.
Thanks for posting, and good luck on the contest!
-BT
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I like your idea for this poem, and good job keeping the word count precise. A couple of suggestions:
I might change the word order of the first sentence to 'always give more'. Both of the first lines have unique word ordering, so you might want to cut it down to just that second line.
I would remove the first exclamation point also, as two seems a bit much for this piece.
Thanks for posting, and good luck on the contest!
-BT
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from Air Spirit
Your message rings so true... and it is wisdom that sounds so easy, but it is not easy to do. Most of us, can give to others... obviously, some more than others.. but I have found that few people can truly give without any expectation or price tag. I myself, have to work very hard at this... but you are absolutely right, in that this is the 'only' recipe for lasting happiness... is to give and to 'let it go' -- if we get something back, wonderful... if we don't, then we still have come out ahead, because we have given with love and without expectation... if they show a pattern of just 'using' you, then that is another story... but to keep track of who does what, when, where and how, is self-defeating, and speaks of man's lower instincts...
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Your message rings so true... and it is wisdom that sounds so easy, but it is not easy to do. Most of us, can give to others... obviously, some more than others.. but I have found that few people can truly give without any expectation or price tag. I myself, have to work very hard at this... but you are absolutely right, in that this is the 'only' recipe for lasting happiness... is to give and to 'let it go' -- if we get something back, wonderful... if we don't, then we still have come out ahead, because we have given with love and without expectation... if they show a pattern of just 'using' you, then that is another story... but to keep track of who does what, when, where and how, is self-defeating, and speaks of man's lower instincts...
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from Mastery
Outstanding entry here, author. Very well constructed and in the syllable limit allowed. I liked it from start to finish and wish yo the best of luck in the contest Hope you win. Bob
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Outstanding entry here, author. Very well constructed and in the syllable limit allowed. I liked it from start to finish and wish yo the best of luck in the contest Hope you win. Bob
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from RGstar
I am not sure forever, but I do agree with you this in the main, for I have found long ago in getting pleasure from giving, and though beautiful and fulfilling, there are some who will que in line and never themselves share or give, waiting for one's generosity, but I say this; never change your goodness, even if sometimes hurt by it.
My best wishes.
RGstar
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I am not sure forever, but I do agree with you this in the main, for I have found long ago in getting pleasure from giving, and though beautiful and fulfilling, there are some who will que in line and never themselves share or give, waiting for one's generosity, but I say this; never change your goodness, even if sometimes hurt by it.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from kiwijenny
I've always believed it's true that expectations are what darken you
This poem is Sage in its wisdom. I love it...always give more with no thought of reciprocity
Well well penned. Good luck
God bless
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I've always believed it's true that expectations are what darken you
This poem is Sage in its wisdom. I love it...always give more with no thought of reciprocity
Well well penned. Good luck
God bless
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from heart of Lou
That would be quite the self sacrificing attitude to have. The world would be a better place though, if we more concerned about helping and giving than to be always whining and wishing to be dead.
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That would be quite the self sacrificing attitude to have. The world would be a better place though, if we more concerned about helping and giving than to be always whining and wishing to be dead.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You fitted those two words in perfectly, and it made sense too. To give is not to receive, is the saying, and that is as it should be. Well done, this is a really good contest entry. Good luck! :) Sandra
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You fitted those two words in perfectly, and it made sense too. To give is not to receive, is the saying, and that is as it should be. Well done, this is a really good contest entry. Good luck! :) Sandra
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from hari anand
This is one powerful piece of poetry in just twenty five syllable defining life in simple words. Correct to its form it stands out because of its great content. Best of luck.
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This is one powerful piece of poetry in just twenty five syllable defining life in simple words. Correct to its form it stands out because of its great content. Best of luck.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
I appreciate your message and usage of the required words. However, your poem is a quote from a seer. Therefore, the first three lines should be presented as a quotation; otherwise, the last line is disconnected.
My apologies if I have offended. Not my intention.
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hello!
I appreciate your message and usage of the required words. However, your poem is a quote from a seer. Therefore, the first three lines should be presented as a quotation; otherwise, the last line is disconnected.
My apologies if I have offended. Not my intention.
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
Comment from godlucifer
life is a given ain't it. what we give we will receive in return. a tale of happiness is a tale of given. forever may we enjoy this given,this happiness,and this receiving in return. your poem was truly creative. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
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life is a given ain't it. what we give we will receive in return. a tale of happiness is a tale of given. forever may we enjoy this given,this happiness,and this receiving in return. your poem was truly creative. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
