All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Sticky-notes"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
146 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
My husband is the sticky note King. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. When my boys were teenagers, I raised 4 of them, my line was 'I love you very much, but right now I don't like you.' My boys have grown up to be wonderful young men. I'll still waiting on my husband. LOL
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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My husband is the sticky note King. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. When my boys were teenagers, I raised 4 of them, my line was 'I love you very much, but right now I don't like you.' My boys have grown up to be wonderful young men. I'll still waiting on my husband. LOL
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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oh you are funny Barbara! My son is sixteen - much more civilized than when he was fourteen, thank God! And hubby ... well, like you ... still waiting. He's away at the moment and his filing system continues to pile up on his desk - but at least it's all now in one place!
:)))Sharyn
Comment from JM daSilva
The other day I told my son I loved and liked him. He asked me what the difference was. I told him I loved him because he was my son, my family, my blood, a natural thing practically all animals had as regards their offspring, and that even if he was a son of a bitch, I'd love him anyway and try to help him out because of our bond. Now liking was more important to me because it meant we loved to hang out with each other. Maybe that has something to do with what you are saying. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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The other day I told my son I loved and liked him. He asked me what the difference was. I told him I loved him because he was my son, my family, my blood, a natural thing practically all animals had as regards their offspring, and that even if he was a son of a bitch, I'd love him anyway and try to help him out because of our bond. Now liking was more important to me because it meant we loved to hang out with each other. Maybe that has something to do with what you are saying. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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hey Joe, thank you so much for your lovely six on this one my dear! :)S
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Great pleasure.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Love the turning of a noun into a verb, for ex:
"....as sticky-notes CONFETTI to the floor"
Three types of internal rhyming goes a long way, for ex:
1) "No, not mere paint and BRICKS but the faintest TRICKS
2)Off slant rhyming, for ex: "much THOUGHT,
which is what I OUGHT to do, because who in their right mind"
3)Consecutives: for ex: "...sighing, trying..."
"..wall,scrawled.."
Alliteration, for ex:"...sides smoothed, pillows plumped.."
All in all a work that is structured in the above sense yet evokes a sense of disillusionment with the purpose of life as the 'sticky' notes come loose over time and fall as illustrated at the end. Excellent, deserves a 6 but alas none were proffered.
Regards:
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Love the turning of a noun into a verb, for ex:
"....as sticky-notes CONFETTI to the floor"
Three types of internal rhyming goes a long way, for ex:
1) "No, not mere paint and BRICKS but the faintest TRICKS
2)Off slant rhyming, for ex: "much THOUGHT,
which is what I OUGHT to do, because who in their right mind"
3)Consecutives: for ex: "...sighing, trying..."
"..wall,scrawled.."
Alliteration, for ex:"...sides smoothed, pillows plumped.."
All in all a work that is structured in the above sense yet evokes a sense of disillusionment with the purpose of life as the 'sticky' notes come loose over time and fall as illustrated at the end. Excellent, deserves a 6 but alas none were proffered.
Regards:
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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'confetti' came as a last minute thing Stephen, but thank you - I liked it too! Have you ever read Gerard Manley Hopkins? He used words in an amazing fashion. Thx for noticing all my rhyming techniques - I do love playing around with words! Thx for your virtual sixer dear! :)S
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Dear S: Just curious, did you read 'Can Love be Found?'
Hugs: Steve C
Comment from Norbanus
You take this wild swing at life
and catch me by surprise
The precious doodled heart of strife
that we don't recognize
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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You take this wild swing at life
and catch me by surprise
The precious doodled heart of strife
that we don't recognize
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I hope you are collecting all your wonderful reviews in a special book dear! :)S
Comment from Curt Winslow
This poem is very good. We need reminders of what our blessings in life are. I have sticky notes all over my desk to remind me what to do, be lost without them. Great job!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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This poem is very good. We need reminders of what our blessings in life are. I have sticky notes all over my desk to remind me what to do, be lost without them. Great job!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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me too Curt - the most pressing ones (no pun intended) live at the bottom of my computer screen where I can't possibly ignore them!
:)S
Comment from O. Warfield
What a poem! Obviously, someone has had love and lost it for one reason or another. They now see what it's like not having that person around, even though they used to get angered at some of the bad habits they now miss so.
Beautiful and thought provoking.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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What a poem! Obviously, someone has had love and lost it for one reason or another. They now see what it's like not having that person around, even though they used to get angered at some of the bad habits they now miss so.
Beautiful and thought provoking.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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You've got the message my dear, loud & clear - thank you so much!
:) Sharyn
Comment from Pili Pubul
This is an astounding love poem, so honest and real. The mixture of emotions are there so clear . Both choices painful. Excellent style and word choices express so well the reality of the situation. Wish I could give you a six, but not allowed... Pili
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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This is an astounding love poem, so honest and real. The mixture of emotions are there so clear . Both choices painful. Excellent style and word choices express so well the reality of the situation. Wish I could give you a six, but not allowed... Pili
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Bless you Pili - I didn't want to do a 'mushy' one, so I'm glad you liked this one dear!
:)Sharyn
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Love it. A big hug...Pili
Comment from alexgeorge
I sincerely hope you're not writing from personal experience, Sharyn. Your poem made me so sad. Our partners in life crease our papers, sip from our cup, sit in our favourite seat, grab our book before we do, hold onto the remote control, hog the bed, complicate our lives...and we just love and adore them for it. So sad and lonesome, with everything neat and quiet.
I want to snug up and cuddle after reading this one. Thank you my friend for this non pretentious poem.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I sincerely hope you're not writing from personal experience, Sharyn. Your poem made me so sad. Our partners in life crease our papers, sip from our cup, sit in our favourite seat, grab our book before we do, hold onto the remote control, hog the bed, complicate our lives...and we just love and adore them for it. So sad and lonesome, with everything neat and quiet.
I want to snug up and cuddle after reading this one. Thank you my friend for this non pretentious poem.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Bless you Alex - you know me - a drama queen from way back. I can easily try different emotions and scenarios on for size, and visualize the feelings - and I didn't want to come up with another "mushy" love poem. My husband's still away at the moment, so it's easy to try this one on!
:)Sharyn
Comment from vapros
A good grade now, for a good verse, well-organized and presented with great emotion. You have made it plain that your love now is for your sons and your home, which awaits you always in silence. You tell readers that your romantic love is gone - but how? - and you are very lonely. Your words are eloquent and pleasant to the eye. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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A good grade now, for a good verse, well-organized and presented with great emotion. You have made it plain that your love now is for your sons and your home, which awaits you always in silence. You tell readers that your romantic love is gone - but how? - and you are very lonely. Your words are eloquent and pleasant to the eye. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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thx so much vapros! :)S
Comment from TOMORAL
Wow, such a beautiful poem. I live alone now, but have experienced these feelings at least once in a lifetime. I have to say it gets better with time, but the loneliness you have so hauntingly defined in this poem still comes back to me at times when I am pondering what went wrong. Excellence in writing, my dear.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Wow, such a beautiful poem. I live alone now, but have experienced these feelings at least once in a lifetime. I have to say it gets better with time, but the loneliness you have so hauntingly defined in this poem still comes back to me at times when I am pondering what went wrong. Excellence in writing, my dear.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Bless you for your lovely six on this one my dear! Life does have those moments, doesn't it?
:)Sharyn