Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 " One Pure Note"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

120 total reviews 
Comment from RYME4U
Excellent
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This is well done. At first I thought "This is a very sad poem" but the hope and encourage at the end is very uplifting. It's all in seeing things in a different aspect. Great job!

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    the idea is to take you on a journey - so thank you for coming along, my dear!
Comment from juliedickson55
Excellent
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Yes, quite uplifting, the offer of self to love's gentle hands...
flowing lovingly over the waves, sadly forlorn, but a pinch of hopeful.

I love this line:
"a beach of empty skulls
screaming gulls and madness"

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    thx so much julie!
Comment from mshirachot
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

While my husband would totally agree with you about the exquisite nature of an operatic voice, I (since opposites attract) would have been further sunk to despair over what I consider "screeching". LOL I hope my SIX stars soften my humor.

When I first started reading this, I thought...this is not very encouraging. It actually seemed rather glum, but you turned it around rather nicely (even if you did use opera LOL)!

This is quite lovely how you have from despair and depression brought forth joy and hope. Wonderful writing. I wish you the best with the writing prompt entry.

Blessings to you!
Marsha

ps...you got my last SIX this week!


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    wow! Marsha, I'm honored to receive your last six for the week! Glad you enjoyed this one - no screeching required, promise! :)
Comment from ernesto escarro
Excellent
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One note

At the beach, thinking of how lonely you are.
many ti,e you see your end. Like when you sink into water and lost your breath. But you come to overflowing to get rescued.
To notice there is one more note to sing for being alive.
Give thanks to God for saving you.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    thx so much ee!
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Excellent
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Happiness is not a myth not always twisted,,,I like the smooth flow of this. The structure is good the picture adds to the presentation,nicely done.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    thx so much Deorre!
Comment from GarthL
Excellent
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Love the image, color palette and shape the text creates on the page. The story is indeed one of exultation and coming back to the miracle that is us, with gratitude and in awe of the wondrous glories that abound, within the sound, of eternity. Your images are strong and make compelling and enjoyable reading, thank you. Good luck in the contest.

I think you'd enjoy my song/poems The Harvest, Always Remember and Burning which speak to the same theme.

Love and peace be with you, stay safe, Garth

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    thx so much Garth! I'll take a peek at those, too! :)
reply by GarthL on 24-Nov-2012
    You're very welcome, thank you and good luck!
    Tread lightly, Garth
Comment from Ekim777
Excellent
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Grand music can do this. If we are condemned to suffer pain, great music can not only relieve us but it allows to exult even in our suffering. The worst part about pain is that it isolates and separates us from humanity. In this way it resembles death. You express it all, very well with good imagery and cadence. Finally, to thrive on one's senses is to confront reality with new awareness. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    it is indeed - thank you Ekim!
Comment from LenSive
Average
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I believe that this could really be a powerful poem--with pruning, condensing,and if certain images were thought through a bit more. Eg, hearing opera on the frigid air and then that is juxtaposed with a glass chandelier--a bit discordant for me. Often, with some time and effort, a re-worked poem achieves that weight and beauty we felt in our hearts but which only is brought forth by labor pains.

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 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    From the site FAQ page-
    The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
    Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
    Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
    Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed) - For anything this rating or below, PLEASE provide feedback so that your rating makes sense and gives me understanding. :)
    Three Stars (Below average)
    Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
    One Star (Poor: Major revision required)

    Please do not rate at a level that indicates you feel it needs revision or adjustments without sharing what those are; it is important for the author to know the reasoning behind the rating or it can be confusing. :)
    Thank you for stopping by and we hope these reviewing guidelines help those who are new understand how reviewing/rating works. For specifics on how to review the various different forms of writing (poems vs. short works, etc), see the FAQs part of the site under the 'INFO' tab. There is a lot of helpful information.
Comment from Rondeno
Excellent
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The Power of Asthetic Pleasure

Excellent! The contrast you make between the sensually-deprived "me" and the enthralled, titillated woman who has been stimulated by pleasure is marvelous.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    aaah, you "get" it - thx Rondeno!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful free verse poem about finding happiness through someone else's singing. good lucki in the contest

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
    thx sweets!