No Such Luck
Revision of an earlier poem145 total reviews
Comment from THE FREAK
'No such luck' immediately belittles the generations old of faith, pushing their ways of life; even religion against the wall believing there is no greater force than God to which emits luck within every human soul. Waging the sins factor puts you on the scale of luck, balancing good deeds opposed to being the next Hitler. Nevertheless, superstitions highlighted within this easy to obtain and relatable poem, does show the hidden characteristics of desperation inside all of us, from one time to another we have relied on luck. Whether Justin Chopin speaks to true divine words, singling out psychometric vibes to which strangle the poorest souls, in hope of their lotto ticket will eventually win, is another scale far greater than mind healers.
In summation, Justin Chopin has clearly announced we have 'no such thing a luck' and to press on with our lives; if this is the case, the world better get a move, for we have much to catch up on. Five stars all the way!!!
All the best my friend
THE FREAK
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
'No such luck' immediately belittles the generations old of faith, pushing their ways of life; even religion against the wall believing there is no greater force than God to which emits luck within every human soul. Waging the sins factor puts you on the scale of luck, balancing good deeds opposed to being the next Hitler. Nevertheless, superstitions highlighted within this easy to obtain and relatable poem, does show the hidden characteristics of desperation inside all of us, from one time to another we have relied on luck. Whether Justin Chopin speaks to true divine words, singling out psychometric vibes to which strangle the poorest souls, in hope of their lotto ticket will eventually win, is another scale far greater than mind healers.
In summation, Justin Chopin has clearly announced we have 'no such thing a luck' and to press on with our lives; if this is the case, the world better get a move, for we have much to catch up on. Five stars all the way!!!
All the best my friend
THE FREAK
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Freak. By the way what does psychometric mean?
-
You're welcome
The measurement barrier of psychiatric testing
Comment from c_lucas
I can't argue with your summation. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
I can't argue with your summation. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Lucas.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from shyamolie.b
I like how you've used the rhyming scheme to make the poem come together. However if you're writing in stanzas of 5 lines, try continuing with that through the poem instead of writing 6 in the penultimate, and 4 in the ultimate stanza. Overall message is noteworthy.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
I like how you've used the rhyming scheme to make the poem come together. However if you're writing in stanzas of 5 lines, try continuing with that through the poem instead of writing 6 in the penultimate, and 4 in the ultimate stanza. Overall message is noteworthy.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you for the advice shy.
Comment from dragonpoet
You use a very different rhyme scheme but do get your point across well. Don't rely on superstition but use your life and talent as they are. Good artwork. I don't like the line about the Irish. Yes they brought us the shamrock and the blarney stone but they aren't the only heritage to have specific superstitions.
Check out my poem called "Charms and Omens" to get the historic background of some of the most popular superstitions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
You use a very different rhyme scheme but do get your point across well. Don't rely on superstition but use your life and talent as they are. Good artwork. I don't like the line about the Irish. Yes they brought us the shamrock and the blarney stone but they aren't the only heritage to have specific superstitions.
Check out my poem called "Charms and Omens" to get the historic background of some of the most popular superstitions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Dragon.
-
No problem, Justin.
Joan
Comment from strandloper
Indeed. It is quite incredible to see how many of our top sportsmen for example have all sorts of superstitions while having reached some of the highest echelons in life. Off course, it then becomes a vicious circle, the more successful one then is the more the superstition is reinforced. Back to the review, good use of poetic devices such as alliteration;"fables, folktales; be,bore; grasses, green;" Loved the line"Because God created a beautiful scene" Well done! Blessings!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
Indeed. It is quite incredible to see how many of our top sportsmen for example have all sorts of superstitions while having reached some of the highest echelons in life. Off course, it then becomes a vicious circle, the more successful one then is the more the superstition is reinforced. Back to the review, good use of poetic devices such as alliteration;"fables, folktales; be,bore; grasses, green;" Loved the line"Because God created a beautiful scene" Well done! Blessings!
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you strand.
Comment from guinea
Excellent write my friend. No truer words have I read lately. Your words flow smoothly and with heart, Shows deep thinking. I agree with you.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
Excellent write my friend. No truer words have I read lately. Your words flow smoothly and with heart, Shows deep thinking. I agree with you.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Guinea.
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork
it sets the mood for your poem.Which I think is so true, I love how your poem flows and the message that it gives.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
I love the artwork
it sets the mood for your poem.Which I think is so true, I love how your poem flows and the message that it gives.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Cookie.
-
My pleasure.
Comment from visionary1234
Well there are some of us who would possibly say that believing in God is just like believing in God, yes? I think the point is: believe in SOMETHING that is good, and preferably true, rather than give your power away to superstition, yes? With this poem though, you don't convince me that Jesus Christ is a better bet - perhaps if you'd brought in some rationale earlier in the piece? So giving yourself to God seems rather a "pat" solution without having laid any groundwork? Something to think about anyway, and certainly a fun write my dear!
Best wishes
Sharyn
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
Well there are some of us who would possibly say that believing in God is just like believing in God, yes? I think the point is: believe in SOMETHING that is good, and preferably true, rather than give your power away to superstition, yes? With this poem though, you don't convince me that Jesus Christ is a better bet - perhaps if you'd brought in some rationale earlier in the piece? So giving yourself to God seems rather a "pat" solution without having laid any groundwork? Something to think about anyway, and certainly a fun write my dear!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Sharyn.
Comment from linsbm
That's true, poet, faith in God is what we have to live with.
Your poem excels in all its thoughts of presenting your point. It has sense in structure and flow, strength in words for affirmation. Spiritual theme is sustained all through out the poem. It reflects your spiritual belief. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
That's true, poet, faith in God is what we have to live with.
Your poem excels in all its thoughts of presenting your point. It has sense in structure and flow, strength in words for affirmation. Spiritual theme is sustained all through out the poem. It reflects your spiritual belief. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Lin.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I can't imagine why people think a rabbit's foot is a good luck charm...think how the rabbit might feel.
Your free style verse is easy to read and clearly demonstrates your belief system,
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
I can't imagine why people think a rabbit's foot is a good luck charm...think how the rabbit might feel.
Your free style verse is easy to read and clearly demonstrates your belief system,
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Echo.