All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Butterfly in a Box"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
116 total reviews
Comment from Earl of Oxford
I never had you down as a defenceless butterfly, Sharyn. :-)
Not sure if this is bio - I hope not, but it's very believably written with free-verse craft and also wit.
Maybe turn into a bee, then when he next opens the box, you can sting the end of his nose (or somewhere else if he's in the nude, LOL) and tell him to 'BUZZ of'
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I never had you down as a defenceless butterfly, Sharyn. :-)
Not sure if this is bio - I hope not, but it's very believably written with free-verse craft and also wit.
Maybe turn into a bee, then when he next opens the box, you can sting the end of his nose (or somewhere else if he's in the nude, LOL) and tell him to 'BUZZ of'
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx Ray - hmmm ... not so sure about the "defenceless" part - but then, I've had to learn through experience ... and my other half is still alive to tell the tale after 20 years! Bee, hmm? Maybe a hornet would be more fitting - but the nude bit has GREAT possibilities ...
Comment from oozer
Great idea which you carry off v with flying colours! A caterpillar mutates into a butterfly. Extremely well done!
Looks very well on the page too
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Great idea which you carry off v with flying colours! A caterpillar mutates into a butterfly. Extremely well done!
Looks very well on the page too
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx oozer!
Comment from Oldsteamer
So very true.
When a charmer turns out to be a harmer it gets pretty ugly.
Your poem makes me so very sad.
Hope things work out .
Or hopefully this is just you showing a different side of your creative genius
Regards,
Randy
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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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So very true.
When a charmer turns out to be a harmer it gets pretty ugly.
Your poem makes me so very sad.
Hope things work out .
Or hopefully this is just you showing a different side of your creative genius
Regards,
Randy
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Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Don't be alarmed Randy - just flexing some writing muscles here dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from Chris Tee
You paint a picture of wisdom and good experience in this darkish piece of poetry here Sharyn. I lovely butterfly like you should never be in a box. Great poem!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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You paint a picture of wisdom and good experience in this darkish piece of poetry here Sharyn. I lovely butterfly like you should never be in a box. Great poem!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx Chris! when butterflies mutate they can get quite nasty, grrrr! Haven't seen you posting for a while??? :) Sharyn
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Lost interest for a while, busy with another exciting mission.
Comment from Ekim777
Butterflies are tougher than your think.It's hard to put them down. Your friend must be quite a charmer. So he doesn't know much else. Surely your empty darkness gives you depth. Your soul resides there. So your friend doesn't know the meaning of soul. I'm sure his charm is fascinating.
He helped over the dark abyss, didn't he. What more can you expect from the poor bugger. Then maybe he got out of his depth, being disconnected from his soul. Why would he put you in a box. He's not possessive is he. That means he's jealous. That makes him interesting even if he is a pain in the butt. I'm sure he doesn't understand you at all.I can't really fathom the final verse, the reversal of roles. -Ekim
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Butterflies are tougher than your think.It's hard to put them down. Your friend must be quite a charmer. So he doesn't know much else. Surely your empty darkness gives you depth. Your soul resides there. So your friend doesn't know the meaning of soul. I'm sure his charm is fascinating.
He helped over the dark abyss, didn't he. What more can you expect from the poor bugger. Then maybe he got out of his depth, being disconnected from his soul. Why would he put you in a box. He's not possessive is he. That means he's jealous. That makes him interesting even if he is a pain in the butt. I'm sure he doesn't understand you at all.I can't really fathom the final verse, the reversal of roles. -Ekim
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx Ekim!
Comment from ginalouise
I love this poem. It is raw and edgy and honest. It brings to mind a tragic friendship, and the feelings you evoke carry a personal note that is relateable. The image of poking holes in the box is both vivid and delightful at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I love this poem. It is raw and edgy and honest. It brings to mind a tragic friendship, and the feelings you evoke carry a personal note that is relateable. The image of poking holes in the box is both vivid and delightful at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx gina! :) Sharyn
Comment from juliedickson55
Wow, very powerful message.
Some relationships are so destructive and using.
I made the mistake once in presuming need as love. He needed me for everything- financial, emotional help and anything else that could be sucked from my unsuspecting soul...so YES I identify. 6.5 yrs to free myself from the "box".
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Wow, very powerful message.
Some relationships are so destructive and using.
I made the mistake once in presuming need as love. He needed me for everything- financial, emotional help and anything else that could be sucked from my unsuspecting soul...so YES I identify. 6.5 yrs to free myself from the "box".
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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yep - it can be insidious - like a sticky fly-trap - good for you, getting out! That's when you discover your real power, yes?
Comment from Hollyhock
Yes indeed a "dark write" but very positive too.
Effective exploration of feelings, in fact at times it was almost like probing an open wound it was so raw."Peck a bit, enjoy.......etc." That whole stanza is painful in its accuracy of description.
I loved the word combinations and the structure of this one.
"Feeble foolish butterfly" and "Life light thievery"
"this/ butterfly/ is/ mutating" - I can hear the implied warning.
"to/ fly/ alone" - the arrangement of lines symbolizes the meaning in the words.
Great write, can't yet give you the stars this deserves.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Yes indeed a "dark write" but very positive too.
Effective exploration of feelings, in fact at times it was almost like probing an open wound it was so raw."Peck a bit, enjoy.......etc." That whole stanza is painful in its accuracy of description.
I loved the word combinations and the structure of this one.
"Feeble foolish butterfly" and "Life light thievery"
"this/ butterfly/ is/ mutating" - I can hear the implied warning.
"to/ fly/ alone" - the arrangement of lines symbolizes the meaning in the words.
Great write, can't yet give you the stars this deserves.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx so much Holly! :) Sharyn
Comment from cvcopac
I like this one--a real truth, practical and do-able. "Someday when things are good, I'm gonna leave you" type of expression. Keep the light, baby, those light snatchers are out there...
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I like this one--a real truth, practical and do-able. "Someday when things are good, I'm gonna leave you" type of expression. Keep the light, baby, those light snatchers are out there...
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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shall do cv! thx! :) Sharyn
Comment from bossladyone
I like it. I like the way you see the complexity of relationships as stated in your author notes. The picture and color scheme are beautiful and and to the impact of the poem. The poem is very will written. I like the flow and how at the end of each stanza you cut it by adding a couple of more words that don't rhyme making that line stand out. I also like the way you have chosen to format the poem. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I like it. I like the way you see the complexity of relationships as stated in your author notes. The picture and color scheme are beautiful and and to the impact of the poem. The poem is very will written. I like the flow and how at the end of each stanza you cut it by adding a couple of more words that don't rhyme making that line stand out. I also like the way you have chosen to format the poem. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx so much bosslady - and welcome to FS - I've seen a lot of your work lately! and thank you for reviewing this one too!:) Sharyn