Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Our Game"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

101 total reviews 
Comment from mauial
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A free verse that's dark metaphorically. I like how you related this to the chess game. The saying hell has no fury like a woman scorned seems appropriate.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    thx Al - yes, it's certainly meant to be dark - thx dear!
Comment from Antonin70
Average
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sorry, but this really does smack of trying too hard. The illustration at the start warns the reader what to expect. This is one topic for which I really do feel the words should be left to speak for themselves.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    Attached - for your edification:
    From the site FAQ page-
    The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
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    Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
    Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed) - For anything this rating or below, PLEASE provide feedback so that your rating makes sense and gives me understanding. :)
    Three Stars (Below average)
    Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
    One Star (Poor: Major revision required)

    Please do not rate at a level that indicates you feel it needs revision or adjustments without sharing what those are; it is important for the author to know the reasoning behind the rating or it can be confusing. :)
    Thank you for stopping by and we hope these reviewing guidelines help those who are new understand how reviewing/rating works. For specifics on how to review the various different forms of writing (poems vs. short works, etc), see the FAQs part of the site under the 'INFO' tab. There is a lot of helpful information.

Comment from muezza56
Excellent
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a well written piece of prose. life can be like a game of chess, and the most powerful and useful piece is the queen. although in chess, the queen is there to protect her king, as he in a way is the most vulnerable piece. so although the analogy doesn't quite work, it is a well written poem

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    thx muezza! yes, the queen is there SUPPOSEDLY to protect her king - make no mistake, she is far more powerful than the king herself in her abilities to move around the board!
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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You've found the perfect picture to complement a very clever poem.

The lines are pithy, cutting and almost dagger-like in their impact - the use of one-word lines is most effective.

Great conclusion!

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    thx so much my dear!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, mystery writer (aka sharyn). you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the revenge that won't be sweet, i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    can't fool you, hmm, sweets?
reply by sweetwoodjax on 13-Feb-2013
    you have a unique writing style all yours when it comes to free verse
Comment from Child of the King
Excellent
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I was intrigued and still am! Great imagery and the lines followed each other bringing me slowly in to watch the end of the game.Kudos

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    thank you! writing "dark" is always interesting, I find, yes?
Comment from Rondeno
Excellent
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Interesting. Your "feelings" poem is about a complete lack of feelings! Wait until he's asleep, then exact your revenge! Good luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    Exactly, Michael. The ultimate extreme of feelings, yes?
Comment from charlyann
Excellent
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Wonderfully done, right on prompt, honest, worn on the sleeve, the look of this poem is stunning, it's intelligent and well written, very well done and good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    thank you so much charlyann! Always good to stretch, yes?
Comment from reconciled
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My God...whoever is sleeping with you...better sleep light huh?......-smile- this has got to be a girl...i recognize the writing....lol Exceptional write of the dangerous, deviant mind of a wroth woman.....scary scary stuff. love you Michael

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    better believe it dear! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
reply by reconciled on 13-Feb-2013
    Alright....stop it....that's enough ....for real....K Hey your not mad at me....right?
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    You'd better hope not hunny bunny! :)
reply by reconciled on 13-Feb-2013
    I just voted for ya.....k? lol
reply by reconciled on 13-Feb-2013
    I just voted for ya.....k? lol
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    oh well, in that case, you're forgiven!
reply by reconciled on 13-Feb-2013
    Thank God.... K get some rest ...I'm worried about you...-smile-
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Comment from Papabearua
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Your work definitely comes from a woman scorned who is hell bent on revenge.
The first stanza sets the mood for the entire work and the color scheme of black and white drive it home.
The last two stanzas, with their warnings, are ominous.
Very well written.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2013
    Wow! thank you SOOOO MUCH Papabearua! I so appreciate your special '6'. So many people are afraid of writing "dark". I look upon it as a great emotional and writing exercise. Bless you for your detailed reading and understanding!