All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Not enough?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
101 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Congratulations on your contest win!
Gorgeous presentation of your poem
Love the internal rhyme in your opening line
powerful social commentary with great illustrative examples
excellent alliteration in drooling dying face
compelling contrast in this portrait of a self-absorbed person, bent on buying more and more, who feels no compassion for a man with absolutely nothing
Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
  |
Congratulations on your contest win!
Gorgeous presentation of your poem
Love the internal rhyme in your opening line
powerful social commentary with great illustrative examples
excellent alliteration in drooling dying face
compelling contrast in this portrait of a self-absorbed person, bent on buying more and more, who feels no compassion for a man with absolutely nothing
Brooke
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
Thx so much Brooke! Actually she feels too MUCH - that's why she has to disconnect ...
Comment from FLutterodt
Interesting poem. These world that we live in with all its inequalities as you have so vividly expressed. Great observation tranlated very well into a poem. I like structure, the diction and the flow you have used. Well done
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
|
Interesting poem. These world that we live in with all its inequalities as you have so vividly expressed. Great observation tranlated very well into a poem. I like structure, the diction and the flow you have used. Well done
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
thx so much FL! :)S
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh gee, now I'm really cheerful. :( This is so sad, Sharyn, though I can see for this prompt how it would be another winner. Excellent inner rhyme in your opening line, exceptional evoking of imagery and emotion; flows well and is presented beautifully.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
|
Oh gee, now I'm really cheerful. :( This is so sad, Sharyn, though I can see for this prompt how it would be another winner. Excellent inner rhyme in your opening line, exceptional evoking of imagery and emotion; flows well and is presented beautifully.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
yes, it is a cheery piece, isn't it? :)))))
-
:(
Comment from Chanphy
This is an extremely deep and real poem. It successfully highlights the devastation around us, the devastation that we casually pass every day without giving a thought to the seriousness of it all. Your poem portrays this beautifully.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
|
This is an extremely deep and real poem. It successfully highlights the devastation around us, the devastation that we casually pass every day without giving a thought to the seriousness of it all. Your poem portrays this beautifully.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
thx so much Chanphy! :)Sharyn
Comment from misscookie
I see why you got that win you word truly hit home.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
This is what I call a food for thought poem...Meaning after you read it you go hmmmmm.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
|
I see why you got that win you word truly hit home.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
This is what I call a food for thought poem...Meaning after you read it you go hmmmmm.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
thx misscookie! :)S
-
My pleasure have a nice day.
Until nexty time.
Comment from Curt Mongold
I have seen this type at every store and almost every corner, the homeless, the illegal aliens, making their children hold signs to garner sympathy, the works. How do you distinguish between the truly unfortunate and the scammers? I don't know, but I do give when I can.
Great write,
Curt
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
|
I have seen this type at every store and almost every corner, the homeless, the illegal aliens, making their children hold signs to garner sympathy, the works. How do you distinguish between the truly unfortunate and the scammers? I don't know, but I do give when I can.
Great write,
Curt
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
-
That's precisely the problem, Curt. We know that there are some scammers out there - you see them exchanging places and exchanging signs. But WHY are they in the position to have to be doing that, I guess, would be the question I would have to ask - especially in America, land of plenty. Does that make any sense at all? And I end up answering, just as you do: "I don't know." Frustrating, isn't it! ?:)S
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is so sad, it is what life is though. You have written an honest account of what is happening out there, we never stop and help, he/she need us, yet we always look away, embarrased? Guilty? Such a true to life poem and such an excellent contest entry!! Good luck! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2013
|
This is so sad, it is what life is though. You have written an honest account of what is happening out there, we never stop and help, he/she need us, yet we always look away, embarrased? Guilty? Such a true to life poem and such an excellent contest entry!! Good luck! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 03-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2013
-
thx so much, Sandra!
Comment from doris1022
strange poem...never enough. Fine work...well written for the entertainment of the fs crowd. hope you have a fine day and lords day. keep the flow smooth and creative. you have a creamy beginnng.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2013
|
strange poem...never enough. Fine work...well written for the entertainment of the fs crowd. hope you have a fine day and lords day. keep the flow smooth and creative. you have a creamy beginnng.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2013
-
thx Doris!
Comment from bard owl
This is one of those poems that really makes the reader think. This world and all the communication we have in it makes it much smaller and all the flaws are exaggerated until the mind of anyone who thinks feels like it will burst. Excellent imagery in your poem. A very sad take on the inequalities of life. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
|
This is one of those poems that really makes the reader think. This world and all the communication we have in it makes it much smaller and all the flaws are exaggerated until the mind of anyone who thinks feels like it will burst. Excellent imagery in your poem. A very sad take on the inequalities of life. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
-
thx so much bard owl - interesting prompt, hmm?
Comment from ajdevore
I don't know why anyone would bother to enter this contest after reading this. I learned a great deal about how to construct poetry, REAL poetry, just by reading it. About structure, and pacing. You switch from an general philosophy to a very specific, heartbreaking example. The two are disjointed, the contrast stark, the meaning unmistakable. I cant wait to find out who you are and read more!!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
 |
I don't know why anyone would bother to enter this contest after reading this. I learned a great deal about how to construct poetry, REAL poetry, just by reading it. About structure, and pacing. You switch from an general philosophy to a very specific, heartbreaking example. The two are disjointed, the contrast stark, the meaning unmistakable. I cant wait to find out who you are and read more!!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
-
oh good! this was an off-the-cuff when I saw the prompt. I just start writing and see what happens. I'm lucky in that MOST of the time, it works! (And if it doesn't, I leave it to be turned into a grocery list!) Thank you so much for reading my piece and responding so strongly to it - it was so wonderful to see a '6'! You've just made my afternoon!