All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Butterfly in a Box"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
116 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I like your alliterative title
good consonance of L sounds in your opening stanza
nice touches of alliteration throughout
good consonance of F sounds in feeble foolish butterfly
and in life force
Intense expression of raw emotion :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I like your alliterative title
good consonance of L sounds in your opening stanza
nice touches of alliteration throughout
good consonance of F sounds in feeble foolish butterfly
and in life force
Intense expression of raw emotion :-) Brooke
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx Brooke - good to stretch the "dark" sometimes, yes? Difficult though ...
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
I liked these lines describing the beginnings of taking hold of a new existence: "I poked holes in the box,
so light can filter in." Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I liked these lines describing the beginnings of taking hold of a new existence: "I poked holes in the box,
so light can filter in." Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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and again!
Comment from dmt1967
I think if you are in a relationship both of you should help the other grow when one of the party stops doing that and instead tries to stop the growth that's a trouble zone well written thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I think if you are in a relationship both of you should help the other grow when one of the party stops doing that and instead tries to stop the growth that's a trouble zone well written thank you for sharing
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx dmt - you've got that right ... :) S
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Butterfly in a Box' is an extremely well-written piece. This talented poet has delectably made the butterfly and not the worm turn. It was a pleasure to both read and review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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'Butterfly in a Box' is an extremely well-written piece. This talented poet has delectably made the butterfly and not the worm turn. It was a pleasure to both read and review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx Dd!
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visionary1234, you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Cornelius2000
Sharyn: I love this poem, its message and its format. Some of my favorite novels have feisty women in major roles, and my two daughters, although Southern ladies, are not blushing violets. They too would love your poem. Could I possibly send it to them? Dave
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Sharyn: I love this poem, its message and its format. Some of my favorite novels have feisty women in major roles, and my two daughters, although Southern ladies, are not blushing violets. They too would love your poem. Could I possibly send it to them? Dave
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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You would be most welcome Dave! As always ... :) Sharyn
Comment from J. Dark
I adore this wonderful poem. It is an extremely clever metaphorical poem that has interest and appeal on all levels. Saved a six especially for you and the site won't let me give it to you because I've given you two in the past thirty days!! Unfair, and I am stamping my feet because this was the most interesting poem I have read all week and I loved it!
Kindest of regards,
Mrs D :-)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I adore this wonderful poem. It is an extremely clever metaphorical poem that has interest and appeal on all levels. Saved a six especially for you and the site won't let me give it to you because I've given you two in the past thirty days!! Unfair, and I am stamping my feet because this was the most interesting poem I have read all week and I loved it!
Kindest of regards,
Mrs D :-)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx Mrs D - your virtual '6' is totally accepted and appreciated. I do try to experiment with style & stretch writing muscles, so I'm glad this one worked for you! As always, I really appreciate your feedback.
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this si very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the butterfly seeing the truth and growing in order to escape the box she was put in.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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this si very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the butterfly seeing the truth and growing in order to escape the box she was put in.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx sweets!
Comment from hari anand
Yes very true,if one doesn't adapt to change,the result can be destructive, and life never remains same, Beautiful artwork of butterfly in the box.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Yes very true,if one doesn't adapt to change,the result can be destructive, and life never remains same, Beautiful artwork of butterfly in the box.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thx Mb!
Comment from Spike the second
I do like your poetry. It's not to taxing and the double meanings are very interesting. You are so right about the dynamic and you do have to adapt, with 30 years of marraige myself it's a case of having to.
Very nicely written
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I do like your poetry. It's not to taxing and the double meanings are very interesting. You are so right about the dynamic and you do have to adapt, with 30 years of marraige myself it's a case of having to.
Very nicely written
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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thx Spike - I'm heading for 20 years myself dear ... but there have been those times ...
Comment from OLA THOMAS
The message is carefully rendered, smoothly delivered. This is a true to life piece. Many a times a partner underrates and cheat on the other 'foolish' partner unabated and this goes on until the 'foolish one' suddenly becomes wise not ready to take the sh..t again. Fine job.
ola
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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The message is carefully rendered, smoothly delivered. This is a true to life piece. Many a times a partner underrates and cheat on the other 'foolish' partner unabated and this goes on until the 'foolish one' suddenly becomes wise not ready to take the sh..t again. Fine job.
ola
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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You've got it Ola - thank you for reading and really understanding this. Best wishes, Sharyn