CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Solace"A collection of poetry
138 total reviews
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Nice flow and rhyme used here. The message is romantic and sweet. It reads like a greeting card. Ever thought of creating those?
Nicely done, again.
Thanks for sharing.
Jj
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Nice flow and rhyme used here. The message is romantic and sweet. It reads like a greeting card. Ever thought of creating those?
Nicely done, again.
Thanks for sharing.
Jj
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from Gert sherwood
Good Afternoon 6teezkid
A very well expressed pathos poem I could fee the need for loving care Wonderful continuous flow
May I a suggestion with this line--
With strong arms and ((deep) heart
what about if you said one of these two-
With strong arms and caring heart
or
With strong arms and loving heart
Gert
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Good Afternoon 6teezkid
A very well expressed pathos poem I could fee the need for loving care Wonderful continuous flow
May I a suggestion with this line--
With strong arms and ((deep) heart
what about if you said one of these two-
With strong arms and caring heart
or
With strong arms and loving heart
Gert
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Gert, I hear exactly what you're saying here. Am pondering about it. I suppose I wanted to encapsulate that this man is so strong, both physically and mentally, and maybe "caring" or "loving" are too soft of words for him. I was trying to find a single word that would say, "Way down deep, beneath this man's strength is a very tender heart. Make any sense? Anyway, I want to thank you very much for your generous review and specific, constructive comments. Much appreciated. Warmest regards, Sue
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Good Evening 6teezkid
Yes it does after you explined i why you said (dep)
Mabye you should put what you said in your authors notes
Gert
Comment from bard owl
THis poem is absolutely lovely. WHat comfort to know that you have someone to care for you when you are hurting and someone to care for as well. Such tender imagery in this poem and a very smooth flow from beginning to end. Blessings, Linda
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THis poem is absolutely lovely. WHat comfort to know that you have someone to care for you when you are hurting and someone to care for as well. Such tender imagery in this poem and a very smooth flow from beginning to end. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from Josipher32
This was a wonderfully presented poem. There was good and consistant use of external rhymes.
That last line of the 1st stanza is cut off from the stanza, I would assume that is a Fanstory glitch.
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This was a wonderfully presented poem. There was good and consistant use of external rhymes.
That last line of the 1st stanza is cut off from the stanza, I would assume that is a Fanstory glitch.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from grassroots08
This was well penned. Maybe it could show a lovely heart, but actually no picture is needed and does very well on its own. I am more inclined to draw from the artists on the Fan Art forum, simply because it is here and available for our use. Feel free to combine any of your pieces with their work. Keep on sharing these great pieces with us, Don
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This was well penned. Maybe it could show a lovely heart, but actually no picture is needed and does very well on its own. I am more inclined to draw from the artists on the Fan Art forum, simply because it is here and available for our use. Feel free to combine any of your pieces with their work. Keep on sharing these great pieces with us, Don
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from nitad
Come rest with me now
In spirit, not a word
I give to you no burden
Just my breath will be heard
There is an intimacy described in this stanza that goes beyond the physical aspects of a relationship. Something much deeper. You capture it beautifully. Well done.
Take care,
Nita
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Come rest with me now
In spirit, not a word
I give to you no burden
Just my breath will be heard
There is an intimacy described in this stanza that goes beyond the physical aspects of a relationship. Something much deeper. You capture it beautifully. Well done.
Take care,
Nita
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from electroswiftword
Simple and beautiful these words expressing need and what would fulfill it. Very moving, heartfelt. I look forward to reading more of your work. Will
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Simple and beautiful these words expressing need and what would fulfill it. Very moving, heartfelt. I look forward to reading more of your work. Will
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from wierdgrace
what a wonderful touching poem, reaching out and touching the into soul and the emotions are so real in the words you write. The structure flows smoothly and the images are strongs, thank you so much for sharing.
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what a wonderful touching poem, reaching out and touching the into soul and the emotions are so real in the words you write. The structure flows smoothly and the images are strongs, thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from DeboraDyess
This was, indeed, exceptional. My sister, who I read this to over the phone, felt it needed to be longer, but was afraid it might fuin the flow. either way, exceptional. Blessings, Deb
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This was, indeed, exceptional. My sister, who I read this to over the phone, felt it needed to be longer, but was afraid it might fuin the flow. either way, exceptional. Blessings, Deb
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from fayesh
I think the poem was nicely written with flowing rhymes. I would keep it as quatrains and move that stand alone line up to make it the first quatrain.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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I think the poem was nicely written with flowing rhymes. I would keep it as quatrains and move that stand alone line up to make it the first quatrain.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Fayesh, here is where I show my rookie-status as a poem writer...... I had to google 'quatrain'. HA!! Can you let me know which 'stand alone line' you are referring to? I take your critique seriously, as you have always been very kind and helpful. And I thank you for your very generous review! Most sincerely, Sue