Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Awakened"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
14 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Absolutely love your 'follow up' here, June -- although I'm still playing catch-up, so enjoying these!! ;) Your gift of life to the actual fantasies themselves is wonderfully done in but those 14 syllables... Thanx for sharing and knowing 'where I was going' and 'taking it further'! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2020
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Absolutely love your 'follow up' here, June -- although I'm still playing catch-up, so enjoying these!! ;) Your gift of life to the actual fantasies themselves is wonderfully done in but those 14 syllables... Thanx for sharing and knowing 'where I was going' and 'taking it further'! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2020
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts! Much appreciated.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great couplet, June. I like the way you personified the passion and fantasies. Good job with the alliteration of 'p' and 'f'. Your art choice works well, too. I agree with your couplet. Books are fantasies where one can be anything, go anywhere, etc. But someone has to write them.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2020
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This is a great couplet, June. I like the way you personified the passion and fantasies. Good job with the alliteration of 'p' and 'f'. Your art choice works well, too. I agree with your couplet. Books are fantasies where one can be anything, go anywhere, etc. But someone has to write them.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2020
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Thank you! Always appreciate your feedback and insights.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 7/7poe in addition to the multi-author Renga book. We do sometimes have a hard time to decide what we want to explore, but most of the time when we have the first line the rest comes naturally.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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A very well-written 7/7poe in addition to the multi-author Renga book. We do sometimes have a hard time to decide what we want to explore, but most of the time when we have the first line the rest comes naturally.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You opened the door here for all sorts of possibilities with your couplet June and I wait with baited breath to read people's imaginings, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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You opened the door here for all sorts of possibilities with your couplet June and I wait with baited breath to read people's imaginings, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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Thank you! It?s been very interesting watching how this book of Renga evolves!
Comment from Valerie Fish
This is beautiful, don't know what came before it but this says so much in just two lines, inviting the reader to carry on to the next chapter.
Never heard of Renga, will have a look and be interested in having a go.
Well Done
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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This is beautiful, don't know what came before it but this says so much in just two lines, inviting the reader to carry on to the next chapter.
Never heard of Renga, will have a look and be interested in having a go.
Well Done
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for reading and reviewing! Just go back to the loosen, at the top of the page, click on the tiny number 43. That was the poem before mine.
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Thanks I will, sorry for late acknowledgement, away on holiday
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, June,
Beautiful couplet to follow Yvette's haiku :) I can always count on you to do a great job with the book chapter. Thank you for adding the notes. Would you please add at the top the haiku you followed? Some people are asking for it.
Well done, hugs,
Gypsy
Renga so far...
Chapter one by Gypsy Blue Rose
pigeon plum flowers
bend but not break in the storm
at Indian Key
================================
Chapter two by June Sargent
storm clouds flee as new day dawns
berries ripen and birds wait
================================
Chapter three by Pam (respa)
colorful songbirds
gather for spring's ripe berries
bountiful harvest
================================
Chapter four by Mrs KT
Winged frenzy ignites orchard;
Garnet gems pecked to their death
================================
Chapter five by Gloria
funeral procession
seed boats drift to a footbridge--
the orchard withdraws
================================
Chapter six by June Sargent
willow sways in summer breeze
while secret lovers giggle
================================
Chapter seven by Bill Schott
as lovers linger
red ocean brings back berries
the wine washes in
================================
Chapter eight by Lyenochka
sun sweetened grapes become wine
divining truth from love's lips
================================
Chapter nine by Ulla
love grows and ripens
while nature multiplies its
palette of colours.
================================
Chapter ten by Ameen
Autumn's tones enveloped me
in a warm rainbow landscape
================================
Chapter eleven by Margaret Bernar
Tender sacrifice
renders one fragile and strong -
Love's unique nature
================================
Chapter twelve by Zanya
Twilight tints evening skyline
Cooler breezes ripple shore
================================-
Chapter thirteen by June Sargent
wrapped in silken robes
of gold, autumn bids farewell -
first breath of winter
================================
Chapter fourteen by Dolly
Earth's freeze grips with snowy ice,
to calm, with peaceful silence.
================================
Chapter fifteen by Rama Devi
blanketed by snow
leaf-whispers enter deep sleep
hushed serenity
================================
Chapter sixteen by Gypsy Blue Rose
cold whirlwind whistles over
Mount Fuji's peaks and valleys
================================
Chapter seventeen by Royowen
Kaleidoscopic
dust gathers the frosted light,
panoramic gems.
================================
Chapter eighteen by Marjon Van Bruggen
winds from the south bring yellow
Sahara desert sand skies
================================
Chapter nineteen by June Sargent
prickly pear cactus
caressed by warm summer breeze
crimson heart opens
================================
Chapter twenty by Gypsy Blue Rose
south wind susurrous whispers
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
================================
Chapter twenty one by Gypsy Blue Rose
farmer prays for rain
for drought-stricken olive trees
resilient souls
================================
Chapter twenty two by DeboraDyess
Rainbow's sharp, dazzling colors
sitting atop sun-struck clouds
================================
Chapter twenty three by June. Sargent
lighthouse shines through fog
guiding boat 'round jagged rocks -
wives cook hot chowder
================================
Chapter twenty four by Lucy de Welles
Hearty alimentation
Strengthens love for hearth and home
================================
Chapter twenty five by Ulla
yet, the bumpy roads
stretch away in the distance
love is but a dream
================================
Chapter twenty six by June Sargent
out of cocoon of darkness
hope sprouts wings to follow dreams
================================
Chapter twenty seven by Gypsy Blue Rose
leaving pain behind,
soul seeks a reason to live
flourish in the dark
================================
Chapter twenty eight by Gypsy Blue Rose
morning possibilities
are endless and filled with hope
================================
Chapter twenty nine by Gypsy Blue Rose
from this mountain top
I can see for miles and miles --
God's personal space
================================
Chapter thirty by Lyenochka
perfect prayer perspective
as words reach God's list'ning heart
================================
Chapter thirty one by Royowen
Distant sentinels
Masts of transmitting requests
To the Holy one.
================================
Chapter thirty two by Elizabeth Emerald
Soft! In sunset's silence sound
whispers of consolation
================================
Chapter thirty three by June Sargent
flowers in the wild
basking and thriving in love
divine reminder
================================
Chapter thirty four by Bill Pinder
Storm clouds
give ominous glare
violet clusters
fear not
================================
Chapter thirty five by Lucy de Welles
So unsuspecting.
Too late for striving fingers,
which choose figs instead.
================================
Chapter thirty six by Lucy de Welles
grapes, figs, violets-- purple
jellied storms fascinating
================================
Chapter thirty seven by June Sargent
Purple clouds depart
Amidst landscape in turmoil -
cherry tree stands tall
================================
Chapter thirty eight by Gypsy Blue Rose
birds chirp at the old orchard
as sunrise marks a new day
================================
Chapter thirty nine by Royowen
Behold the eagle
dines on food we cannot see
It is wisdom's feast.
================================
Chapter forty by Lyenochka
wind whispers sweet songs of joy
as spirit feasts on God's word
================================
Chapter forty one by Lucy de Welles
delicacies rare
wonders of the worlds within
turtle and men's joy
================================
Chapter forty two by Gypsy Blue Rose
inside, imagination
stirs magic of creation
================================
Chapter forty three by Y.M. Roger
when fantasy calls
the poet's pen awakens
setting vision free
================================
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
|
Hello, June,
Beautiful couplet to follow Yvette's haiku :) I can always count on you to do a great job with the book chapter. Thank you for adding the notes. Would you please add at the top the haiku you followed? Some people are asking for it.
Well done, hugs,
Gypsy
Renga so far...
Chapter one by Gypsy Blue Rose
pigeon plum flowers
bend but not break in the storm
at Indian Key
================================
Chapter two by June Sargent
storm clouds flee as new day dawns
berries ripen and birds wait
================================
Chapter three by Pam (respa)
colorful songbirds
gather for spring's ripe berries
bountiful harvest
================================
Chapter four by Mrs KT
Winged frenzy ignites orchard;
Garnet gems pecked to their death
================================
Chapter five by Gloria
funeral procession
seed boats drift to a footbridge--
the orchard withdraws
================================
Chapter six by June Sargent
willow sways in summer breeze
while secret lovers giggle
================================
Chapter seven by Bill Schott
as lovers linger
red ocean brings back berries
the wine washes in
================================
Chapter eight by Lyenochka
sun sweetened grapes become wine
divining truth from love's lips
================================
Chapter nine by Ulla
love grows and ripens
while nature multiplies its
palette of colours.
================================
Chapter ten by Ameen
Autumn's tones enveloped me
in a warm rainbow landscape
================================
Chapter eleven by Margaret Bernar
Tender sacrifice
renders one fragile and strong -
Love's unique nature
================================
Chapter twelve by Zanya
Twilight tints evening skyline
Cooler breezes ripple shore
================================-
Chapter thirteen by June Sargent
wrapped in silken robes
of gold, autumn bids farewell -
first breath of winter
================================
Chapter fourteen by Dolly
Earth's freeze grips with snowy ice,
to calm, with peaceful silence.
================================
Chapter fifteen by Rama Devi
blanketed by snow
leaf-whispers enter deep sleep
hushed serenity
================================
Chapter sixteen by Gypsy Blue Rose
cold whirlwind whistles over
Mount Fuji's peaks and valleys
================================
Chapter seventeen by Royowen
Kaleidoscopic
dust gathers the frosted light,
panoramic gems.
================================
Chapter eighteen by Marjon Van Bruggen
winds from the south bring yellow
Sahara desert sand skies
================================
Chapter nineteen by June Sargent
prickly pear cactus
caressed by warm summer breeze
crimson heart opens
================================
Chapter twenty by Gypsy Blue Rose
south wind susurrous whispers
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
================================
Chapter twenty one by Gypsy Blue Rose
farmer prays for rain
for drought-stricken olive trees
resilient souls
================================
Chapter twenty two by DeboraDyess
Rainbow's sharp, dazzling colors
sitting atop sun-struck clouds
================================
Chapter twenty three by June. Sargent
lighthouse shines through fog
guiding boat 'round jagged rocks -
wives cook hot chowder
================================
Chapter twenty four by Lucy de Welles
Hearty alimentation
Strengthens love for hearth and home
================================
Chapter twenty five by Ulla
yet, the bumpy roads
stretch away in the distance
love is but a dream
================================
Chapter twenty six by June Sargent
out of cocoon of darkness
hope sprouts wings to follow dreams
================================
Chapter twenty seven by Gypsy Blue Rose
leaving pain behind,
soul seeks a reason to live
flourish in the dark
================================
Chapter twenty eight by Gypsy Blue Rose
morning possibilities
are endless and filled with hope
================================
Chapter twenty nine by Gypsy Blue Rose
from this mountain top
I can see for miles and miles --
God's personal space
================================
Chapter thirty by Lyenochka
perfect prayer perspective
as words reach God's list'ning heart
================================
Chapter thirty one by Royowen
Distant sentinels
Masts of transmitting requests
To the Holy one.
================================
Chapter thirty two by Elizabeth Emerald
Soft! In sunset's silence sound
whispers of consolation
================================
Chapter thirty three by June Sargent
flowers in the wild
basking and thriving in love
divine reminder
================================
Chapter thirty four by Bill Pinder
Storm clouds
give ominous glare
violet clusters
fear not
================================
Chapter thirty five by Lucy de Welles
So unsuspecting.
Too late for striving fingers,
which choose figs instead.
================================
Chapter thirty six by Lucy de Welles
grapes, figs, violets-- purple
jellied storms fascinating
================================
Chapter thirty seven by June Sargent
Purple clouds depart
Amidst landscape in turmoil -
cherry tree stands tall
================================
Chapter thirty eight by Gypsy Blue Rose
birds chirp at the old orchard
as sunrise marks a new day
================================
Chapter thirty nine by Royowen
Behold the eagle
dines on food we cannot see
It is wisdom's feast.
================================
Chapter forty by Lyenochka
wind whispers sweet songs of joy
as spirit feasts on God's word
================================
Chapter forty one by Lucy de Welles
delicacies rare
wonders of the worlds within
turtle and men's joy
================================
Chapter forty two by Gypsy Blue Rose
inside, imagination
stirs magic of creation
================================
Chapter forty three by Y.M. Roger
when fantasy calls
the poet's pen awakens
setting vision free
================================
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Glad you thought this couplet followed up nicely! I've made the additional notes per your request. Let's see where the adventure goes now!
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Yes, it really has taken a turn...I like it.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Even the most down-to-earth people--I'm an example--can be stimulated
to indulge in a fantasy, especially if they are poets! You have made excellent use of your fourteen syllables in this delightful piece.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
|
Even the most down-to-earth people--I'm an example--can be stimulated
to indulge in a fantasy, especially if they are poets! You have made excellent use of your fourteen syllables in this delightful piece.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
-
Glad you enjoyed this couplet - thank you for your insightful comments. Always appreciate your input.
Comment from Mark D. R.
June,
I have used that illustration for a future contest entry. It is a good one for yours.
Fantasies work for your poem, but phantasies (an alternative and archaic spelling) gives it a different nuance and extends your p-letter alliteration in your first line (-;
Mark
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
|
June,
I have used that illustration for a future contest entry. It is a good one for yours.
Fantasies work for your poem, but phantasies (an alternative and archaic spelling) gives it a different nuance and extends your p-letter alliteration in your first line (-;
Mark
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
-
Glad you enjoyed this couplet - thank you for your insightful comments. Always appreciate your input.
Comment from Becky Kern-Taylor
Very short but sweet. I imagine that poem applies to many of us writers. Writing is a discovery, and it is discovered at different periods in our life. Many times in our twilight years, probably because that is when our life slows down. Creativity need some space.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
|
Very short but sweet. I imagine that poem applies to many of us writers. Writing is a discovery, and it is discovered at different periods in our life. Many times in our twilight years, probably because that is when our life slows down. Creativity need some space.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
-
Thank you so much for sharing your insights and positive feedback!
Comment from Bill Schott
This couplet for the renga, Awakened, continues the movement from nature to fantasy as the poetic bent leans into the broadening expression.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
|
This couplet for the renga, Awakened, continues the movement from nature to fantasy as the poetic bent leans into the broadening expression.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
-
Thank you so much for sharing your insights and positive feedback!