The Problem with Grief
Free verse21 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
It's almost painful to read this. Your metaphors for grief are strong and effective. Especially running after relief as an escape mechanism.
I see this is biographical poetry so I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.
I remember after my father died I felt a pain in my chest for weeks. It wasn't indigestion. Or a heart attack. Someone told me years after that it literally was the pain of a broken heart felt in the heart chakra.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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It's almost painful to read this. Your metaphors for grief are strong and effective. Especially running after relief as an escape mechanism.
I see this is biographical poetry so I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.
I remember after my father died I felt a pain in my chest for weeks. It wasn't indigestion. Or a heart attack. Someone told me years after that it literally was the pain of a broken heart felt in the heart chakra.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 23-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost my mother yet, exactly. She has Alzheimer's Disease so it has been a long, slow grieving process. Guilt shows it's face too sometimes...Thanks for such an understanding review,
Carol
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Carol, this has to be hard. My parents were both in good mental health when they passed in their nineties. But one of my best friends was unable to speak or move much for a year or more before she passed. So difficult to witness.
Prayers ascending for you and your mother.
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Yes, that's how it is here - not easy. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from rama devi
Powerful! Poignant. Expressive. I do hope it's not based on a recent lost, but it sure sounds raw and real...so, if so, my condolences.
Great flow and free verse style with a smattering of alliteration and consonance as well as assonance that sounds like rhyme (like reach and grief and eked).
Favorite lines:
Here, grief is measured in tiny shards,
each breath eked out, insufficient,
and if you can't bear it,
wait for the next, and then the next.
Potent closing note:
trying to overtake relief that remains
just out of reach.
Great to see you posting here again, my friend!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Powerful! Poignant. Expressive. I do hope it's not based on a recent lost, but it sure sounds raw and real...so, if so, my condolences.
Great flow and free verse style with a smattering of alliteration and consonance as well as assonance that sounds like rhyme (like reach and grief and eked).
Favorite lines:
Here, grief is measured in tiny shards,
each breath eked out, insufficient,
and if you can't bear it,
wait for the next, and then the next.
Potent closing note:
trying to overtake relief that remains
just out of reach.
Great to see you posting here again, my friend!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 23-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi rd, nice to see you again too! I am not overly happy with this poem, and in fact can hardly stand to look at it anymore. My mother has not died yet, but I've already lost her as she has severe Alzheimer's disease.
Thanks for such a nice review :)
Carol
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Oh my gosh, Alzheimer's is such a difficult kind of grief to process, dear. Love and prayers for you and her and your family.
Hugs,
rd
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Thanks so much :))
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:-))
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Carol. This is a wonderfully composed poem on the topic of grief. You've described it well here:
"Why can't a heart break quickly,
like a treasured thing, shattered all at once,"
and
"trying to overtake relief that remains
just out of reach."
I'm glad to see you posting again.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Carol. This is a wonderfully composed poem on the topic of grief. You've described it well here:
"Why can't a heart break quickly,
like a treasured thing, shattered all at once,"
and
"trying to overtake relief that remains
just out of reach."
I'm glad to see you posting again.
Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Marilyn, it's good to see you here too, I need to get back to posting more often! Thanks for your kind comments :))
Carol
Comment from Y. M. Roger
An awesome free verse offering in the vein of your unique style ... grief is certainly that: shards at a time, never really running dry the supply for you don't ever quite overtake relief, but you certainly learn to walk with a smile on your face and in your step so folks stop asking.... Thanx for sharing, Carol, and WELCOME BACK! ;)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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An awesome free verse offering in the vein of your unique style ... grief is certainly that: shards at a time, never really running dry the supply for you don't ever quite overtake relief, but you certainly learn to walk with a smile on your face and in your step so folks stop asking.... Thanx for sharing, Carol, and WELCOME BACK! ;)
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Yvette. and thank you for reading my poem! I hope to be here more often in the future :))
Caro
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done free verse about how greif takes a long time to fade away enough to be borne easily. I like the metaphor of the quick shattering knick knack as a opposite of the way the heart breaks.
Keep writing.
Joan
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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This is a well done free verse about how greif takes a long time to fade away enough to be borne easily. I like the metaphor of the quick shattering knick knack as a opposite of the way the heart breaks.
Keep writing.
Joan
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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I have felt awful when having a favorite shell broken, buy what can you do but move on? Some kinds of grief you can't move on from...with a terminal condition that takes its time. Thanks for reading!
Carol
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Carol,
You're welcome. Yes getting news of a terminal illness is hard to overcome.
Joan
Comment from royowen
You've provided an excellent thought provoking approach to grief, no one can tell someone to "get over it" but yet I've reconciled other things in my life that does determine how I can process it. Having lost so many loved ones over the years, it's taught me one or two However if I lost Elaine, I become less smug, so beautifully written Carol, good to see you back, albeit temporary? Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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You've provided an excellent thought provoking approach to grief, no one can tell someone to "get over it" but yet I've reconciled other things in my life that does determine how I can process it. Having lost so many loved ones over the years, it's taught me one or two However if I lost Elaine, I become less smug, so beautifully written Carol, good to see you back, albeit temporary? Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Roy, it's good to see you here too :))
Carol
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Well done
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, how glad I am to seeing you back? How are you?
Your free verse poem is a poignant one about grief. No, that cannot be dealt with in one sweeping movement. It takes time and choose its own course. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Carol, how glad I am to seeing you back? How are you?
Your free verse poem is a poignant one about grief. No, that cannot be dealt with in one sweeping movement. It takes time and choose its own course. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Ulla, nice to see you too! Thanks for reading, as always :))
Carol
Comment from w.j.debi
You capture emotion so well in this verse. The pain and longing of grief are obvious.
What a great question, why can't grief happen all at once like breaking something fragile? No, it drags on and stays with us, often for a long time.
Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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You capture emotion so well in this verse. The pain and longing of grief are obvious.
What a great question, why can't grief happen all at once like breaking something fragile? No, it drags on and stays with us, often for a long time.
Well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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It does stay for a long time, but as one friend said, does tend to fade some after enough time has passed. Thanks for the review :))
Carol
Comment from zanya
It's so well portrayed here in this poem- the sentiment of grief -such appropriate imagery -'a dull misery /that sticks like quicksand'-and'grief is measured in tiny shards'- almost impossible to gauge when it is over!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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It's so well portrayed here in this poem- the sentiment of grief -such appropriate imagery -'a dull misery /that sticks like quicksand'-and'grief is measured in tiny shards'- almost impossible to gauge when it is over!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much for reading,
Carol
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork, Carol,
it's good to see you on FS.
-Thanks for the notes; they
are appreciated.
-A well written poem that
shows your thoughts about the
grieving process, and how it can
have different impacts.
-The imagery is effective,
and the poem flows well
from one to the next.
-Thanks for sharing, and
I hope sharing the poem
has helped a little bit.
-Take care.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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-Nice artwork, Carol,
it's good to see you on FS.
-Thanks for the notes; they
are appreciated.
-A well written poem that
shows your thoughts about the
grieving process, and how it can
have different impacts.
-The imagery is effective,
and the poem flows well
from one to the next.
-Thanks for sharing, and
I hope sharing the poem
has helped a little bit.
-Take care.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Pam, yes it helps some :)
Carol
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You are welcome, Carol.
