On Winds Of Deceit
The discovery of deception13 total reviews
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I guess that's how it happens sometimes. You think that someone is the love of your life and you discover otherwise. They've been with you most of your life and then, all of a sudden, you're yesterday's news. I like the message of this and how you brought it forth. Great job and well done.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
  |
I guess that's how it happens sometimes. You think that someone is the love of your life and you discover otherwise. They've been with you most of your life and then, all of a sudden, you're yesterday's news. I like the message of this and how you brought it forth. Great job and well done.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
-
Sadly, it happens too often. Trading in to a newer model.
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
such a heartache of a poem. So sad. But the words and the storylines are very good. Betrayal of love can be very heart wrenching. But it seems like the words are easy to write if you know of someone who has gone through this experience.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
|
such a heartache of a poem. So sad. But the words and the storylines are very good. Betrayal of love can be very heart wrenching. But it seems like the words are easy to write if you know of someone who has gone through this experience.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
-
Especially easy to bring forth sad or bitter words when it is a personal experience. But I hid behind a tree, not in the bushes.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is the moment that the sad betrayal becomes real in someone's life and they know that once the news is out, there is no taking it back, I have been there once in my life and it was pretty devastating, your words cut deep and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
|
This is the moment that the sad betrayal becomes real in someone's life and they know that once the news is out, there is no taking it back, I have been there once in my life and it was pretty devastating, your words cut deep and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2019
-
Thanks for reviewing this, Dolly. The voice of authenticity might have shown a bit in my poem; yes, at the time it was devastating. We live and learn.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the betrayal of the one person you love the most is the hardest pill to swallow when the evidence is clear there is no reason why we should stay.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
A very well-written poem about the betrayal of the one person you love the most is the hardest pill to swallow when the evidence is clear there is no reason why we should stay.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
Thanks for your welcome feedback, Sandra.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This well-written poem conveys a powerful message from one who has been cheated on and abandoned. The tone is naturally bitter, making clear that heartbreak now rules her life.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
This well-written poem conveys a powerful message from one who has been cheated on and abandoned. The tone is naturally bitter, making clear that heartbreak now rules her life.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
I appreciate your high rating for my poem, and your assessment of its impact.
Comment from Justin Chopin
A very vivid description of a heartbreak. Wonderful and powerful imagery especially the first image of him drilling a hole into your heart as if if were nothing but a rock I also thought the whole park scenes were very well executed . Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
A very vivid description of a heartbreak. Wonderful and powerful imagery especially the first image of him drilling a hole into your heart as if if were nothing but a rock I also thought the whole park scenes were very well executed . Well done.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
Thank you very much for your high rating and wonderful feedback.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Awesome delivery, here -- don't know if it's from a place of experience or not, but the emotions stirred with your rhythmic and well-rhymed descriptions are very realistic and have great delivery! :) The ending there with blending of the rubbish and the wind is just a wonderful (and, yeah, that word sucks here, but take it for what it's meant to be) way to conclude the piece. Thanx for sharing! ;)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
Awesome delivery, here -- don't know if it's from a place of experience or not, but the emotions stirred with your rhythmic and well-rhymed descriptions are very realistic and have great delivery! :) The ending there with blending of the rubbish and the wind is just a wonderful (and, yeah, that word sucks here, but take it for what it's meant to be) way to conclude the piece. Thanx for sharing! ;)
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
I'm pleased you like my poem - thanks for your comments. It does have a whiff of authenticity - I did see a past beloved take up with a younger woman. But I didn't hide in some bushes. I hid behind a tree. Luckily it was a big one because I was bouncing off the bark with indignation, and I knew a public confrontation would not have been prettyI I can laugh now - she left him because he strayed again... he must have got the taste for it.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Oh my, I don't think I would have been hiding in the bushes, I would have scratched their eyes out! What a creep! This lady needs to divorce him, take the house and the car, and see if the young thing still wants him when she has to support him. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
Oh my, I don't think I would have been hiding in the bushes, I would have scratched their eyes out! What a creep! This lady needs to divorce him, take the house and the car, and see if the young thing still wants him when she has to support him. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
Ah yes... revenge is sweet! I predict the young thing will run a mile, into the arms of someone more her own age, and they will marry and have kids. He will be left a lonely old man - no house, no car, no lady. Justice!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I love your use of the park and especially of the newspaper as images. Your happy place, ruined, as will be almost everything the narrator does, and feeling like yesterday's news. She'll learn to put an ad in that paper, seeking a new life - and she'll be tomorrow's headline. But for today, she hurts.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
I love your use of the park and especially of the newspaper as images. Your happy place, ruined, as will be almost everything the narrator does, and feeling like yesterday's news. She'll learn to put an ad in that paper, seeking a new life - and she'll be tomorrow's headline. But for today, she hurts.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
Thanks for this wonderful review, Darlene. I'm pleased you commented on the newspaper - I felt that was a clever image.
She will need to be open to change and not cling to the past. The young woman will fall in love with a man her own age and they will have kids and live happily ever after; the man will be left lonely in his old age - his children will side with their mother because he treated her badly and made a fool of himself, and she will find love and have a happy contented old age. There, I finished the story. The cad is now hurting. Justice.
-
Thank you and you're welcome. I'd have to ag ree with you.
Comment from papa55mike
This contest has stirred up a few feelings! I've read several entries, and I love this one. It's wonderfully written and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
|
This contest has stirred up a few feelings! I've read several entries, and I love this one. It's wonderfully written and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2019
-
Thanks for your praise and good wishes, Mike.
Betrayal sure does bring out raw feelings!