Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Crunch Time"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

7 total reviews 
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A landscaping bin? Does this mean that for $12.00 a month they'll come rake and take your leaves? Or does it mean you have to rake and they'll just take them once you've packaged them up? If they rake and take, send them up here! I have leaves about to fall!!! LOL

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    No.... just the bin. We rake, they haul it away every Friday. :( I WISH they'd rake for us. Or at least send a streetsweeper to clean the gutter. We live at the bottom of the hill, and everyone's leaves wash down the street to our gutter... :( The city fines you if you leave the gutter blocked up.
reply by susand3022 on 23-Sep-2019
    I just shove them all down... lol I live on a hill across the street from protected land. It's all woods. The good thing is that there's a dip on the other side of the road where one of my neighbors and I blow our leaves, of course we aren't supposed to and there's a lady up the street who'll yell at you if she catches you... lol
    (But I'll let the wind blow them away before I have to pay for it!) And there have been years, I have to admit, and I hate to admit, when I've been too incapacitated to get them under control and let them go to the neighbors house instead... lol The neighbors have gardners. ;)
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
    Yes, me too! In previous years I would dump them in the neighboring forest lands (the guy bought it to develop apartment buildings, but didn't realize the city code doesn't allow building within 20 feet of the creek that runs through his property). But then last year, there was a brush fire on a mountain less than 5 miles away. It traveled fast. So now, I am trying to keep the dry dead brush away from our and our neighbors' houses. :(
reply by susand3022 on 28-Sep-2019
    Ugh! Reminds me of a piece of land that my sister and her husband bought, up near my parent's/family/vacation home years ago, which they were going to put their own house on. About a mile away. Close enough to walk, but not so close that we have to listen to her slam the doors! LOL ? well, they should have had a surveyor out first. It's too swampy to build on! LOL She's gotten too paranoid and anxious to go any farther than a few blocks anymore. Lucky us! LOL
Comment from Mike Stevens
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another fine haiku, Aiona--and a tree peep show? These trees now days have no morals, back in my day, trees had the decency to be evergreens, at least--boy, "scraping the bottom of the humor barrel, am I," said Yoda!

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    LOL! Thanks, Mike.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

crunching past crackling
haberdashery flashers
that dare bare their limbs

I like this entry for the contest. It works with nature and the words you used to describe were thought provoking and done very well

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    Thanks, Barb!
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the slightly risque and imaginative metaphor for the trees' fallen leaves. I have always like the sound of the leaves under my feet.
Good luck in the contest,
Keep writing
Joan

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    Thanks, Joan!
reply by dragonpoet on 20-Sep-2019
    You're welcome, Aiona.
    Joan
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sounds like a woodland striptease to set the world on fire! This unusual metaphor for leaf fall is most effective. I hope you do well in the contest. Good luck!

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    Thanks!
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a cute and lovely way of describing Fall. I enjoyed your use of both personification (of trees) and alliteration. "Haberdashery flashers" is a very original and creative description. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    Thank you, Michele! I dunno if it's even a haiku, but I had fun writing it.
reply by Michele Harber on 19-Sep-2019
    I don't either, but it was well-written and fit the syllable count - and I had fun reading it!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I had to read this poem several times to get the personification references in 'haberdashery flashers' and 'dared bare their limbs.' Then the cleverness of it made me smile. Great sense of sound here! Not even sure what to improve on.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    Thanks!