GULBRANDR- God's Sword
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Ond-Natt"A child is born who will be a champion
8 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Roxanna,
What a fierce battle and all documented so well.
You have obviously spent much time planning your battle scenes and have managed to produce another clever twist in the tail ending.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Hi Roxanna,
What a fierce battle and all documented so well.
You have obviously spent much time planning your battle scenes and have managed to produce another clever twist in the tail ending.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much Shirley
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is an interesting story and your characters seem well developed, my friend. A few spags to fix though:
Coming up under the women's (woman's)
bloodily stump (bloody)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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This is an interesting story and your characters seem well developed, my friend. A few spags to fix though:
Coming up under the women's (woman's)
bloodily stump (bloody)
Comment Written 05-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the help and the nice review. Rox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Who doesn't like a story about Dragon's and Soldiers with swords and spears and arrows? LOL I am sorry to see your story is almost told and we will not be reading it much longer. I have enjoyed it and wish you well Roxanna. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Who doesn't like a story about Dragon's and Soldiers with swords and spears and arrows? LOL I am sorry to see your story is almost told and we will not be reading it much longer. I have enjoyed it and wish you well Roxanna. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Yes it will soon come to an end, but how to do that. Sometime I feel I've painted myself into a corner and now to get out. =} I'll think of something, I hope. Thanks so much Nancy. Rox
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That is important too. I have written one book and I have the same problem. Where and how to end it. Do they ride off into the sunset? That is soooo....
Comment from Shirley McLain
If I had a six it would be yours. Great chapter and I'm looking forward to more. I did not see one thing to recommend. Action packed and left with a cliff hanger. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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If I had a six it would be yours. Great chapter and I'm looking forward to more. I did not see one thing to recommend. Action packed and left with a cliff hanger. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much Shirley, I'm glad you enjoyed it. That's as good as a 6 to me. =] Rox
Comment from Bill Pinder
This is an excellent story with a good flow, interesting plot and definitely keeps the readers attention. I like how you describe the details of the battle, including the dragons with their personalities.
Bill
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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This is an excellent story with a good flow, interesting plot and definitely keeps the readers attention. I like how you describe the details of the battle, including the dragons with their personalities.
Bill
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much Bill. Rox
Comment from royowen
An excellent action packed episode is this one, I must admit, if there was a more unlikable antogonistnas Lucas I'm yet to find one, so a brilliant character is this one, conversely Joshua and Dyster. Well done Rox, an excellent episode, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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An excellent action packed episode is this one, I must admit, if there was a more unlikable antogonistnas Lucas I'm yet to find one, so a brilliant character is this one, conversely Joshua and Dyster. Well done Rox, an excellent episode, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Thanks so much Roy. Rox
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Welcome Rox
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Well done
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, I hope Jarlie looks up in time! We have to kill Lucas! I'm so pleased his awful dragon is dead, he didn't expect that!! lol. What a fight, Rox, that was an amazing chapter, I loved it. Now, go and help Jarlie!! Hurry with the next part! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Oh, I hope Jarlie looks up in time! We have to kill Lucas! I'm so pleased his awful dragon is dead, he didn't expect that!! lol. What a fight, Rox, that was an amazing chapter, I loved it. Now, go and help Jarlie!! Hurry with the next part! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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I will! I just have to get enough money to post. I always get down to my last dollar. =} Thanks so much Sandra. Glad you are enjoying it. Rox
Comment from JudyE
This is very imaginative writing and you have explored a lot of emotions.
I picked up a few spags:
Coming up under the women's dragon, he slashed at the underbelly, his sword tearing a wide gash, blood flowed and entrails protruded - Period after 'gash'. Women's should be woman's.
Faltering in his fliight, Ond-Natt whipped his head around to see his bloodily stump of a tail - flight (spelling) - bloody stump.
Ally dragon riders watched as the huge black dragon circled Joshua and Dyster. - Should this be 'all dragon riders'?
between the dragons eyes - dragon's eyes
In great pain and the air knocked out of him, Lucas lay in the snow, trying to catch his breath, and muster the stamina to stand - maybe 'with the air knocked....' - and I think 'muster the strength to stand' might sound better
Jarle voice came out in a harsh whisper - Jarle's voice.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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This is very imaginative writing and you have explored a lot of emotions.
I picked up a few spags:
Coming up under the women's dragon, he slashed at the underbelly, his sword tearing a wide gash, blood flowed and entrails protruded - Period after 'gash'. Women's should be woman's.
Faltering in his fliight, Ond-Natt whipped his head around to see his bloodily stump of a tail - flight (spelling) - bloody stump.
Ally dragon riders watched as the huge black dragon circled Joshua and Dyster. - Should this be 'all dragon riders'?
between the dragons eyes - dragon's eyes
In great pain and the air knocked out of him, Lucas lay in the snow, trying to catch his breath, and muster the stamina to stand - maybe 'with the air knocked....' - and I think 'muster the strength to stand' might sound better
Jarle voice came out in a harsh whisper - Jarle's voice.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much Judy. I was encourage to see I less spag this time. =] Thanks for the help and believe it or not 'Ally' is a word we just never see it. I looked it up thee times because I did trust it to be right. We usually see is as Allies. =}
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That's interesting about 'ally'. I haven't come across it used in this context I guess. Something new I've learnt. And 'learnt' is okay in Australia but some fanstorians correct it to 'learned' which is also correct. Fascinating stuff, language. :)