The Far Jump
The farthest Jump possible (maybe)26 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
I was confused about your story because I thought it could be true somehow (although 700ft would need propulsion of some sort). I am interested in track and field athletics and tried to find Tom Trident on youtube with no success.
So your story just ends up as an impossibility for me, with not enough fantasy to make it a mystery either.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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I was confused about your story because I thought it could be true somehow (although 700ft would need propulsion of some sort). I am interested in track and field athletics and tried to find Tom Trident on youtube with no success.
So your story just ends up as an impossibility for me, with not enough fantasy to make it a mystery either.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Raul,
This is an interesting write, and a quite clever flash fiction contest entry. Best of luck in the competition.
One offering for your consideration:
"...finally made it to 700 feet apart of him... "
I have re-read this a few times and "apart of him" just feels awkward. Maybe "away from him," or something might flow more effectively.
Thanks for sharing.
Jan
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Hi Raul,
This is an interesting write, and a quite clever flash fiction contest entry. Best of luck in the competition.
One offering for your consideration:
"...finally made it to 700 feet apart of him... "
I have re-read this a few times and "apart of him" just feels awkward. Maybe "away from him," or something might flow more effectively.
Thanks for sharing.
Jan
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Thank you! Thank you for the advice. I will correct my mistake.
Comment from Tedd Turton
This was an original piece of Flash Fiction. In fact, it felt like a great little newspaper, or magazine article. I really enjoy stories that are "Could Be" stories....they make you think what may be possible. Best Wishes, Tedd
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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This was an original piece of Flash Fiction. In fact, it felt like a great little newspaper, or magazine article. I really enjoy stories that are "Could Be" stories....they make you think what may be possible. Best Wishes, Tedd
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from jenintorre
An interesting flash fiction but I am not quite sure what to make of it. I think perhaps with a good edit it could have a chance in the competition. Good luck and best wishes. Jen
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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An interesting flash fiction but I am not quite sure what to make of it. I think perhaps with a good edit it could have a chance in the competition. Good luck and best wishes. Jen
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from giraffmang
The name gave me a laugh. Trident - which is a missile name - coupled with the longest jump idea. I don't know if it was intentional but it tickled me. Lol
A 700ft jump... hmmm
He tried to jump farther and finally made it to 700 feet apart of him.- this sentence doesn't scan well.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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The name gave me a laugh. Trident - which is a missile name - coupled with the longest jump idea. I don't know if it was intentional but it tickled me. Lol
A 700ft jump... hmmm
He tried to jump farther and finally made it to 700 feet apart of him.- this sentence doesn't scan well.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from tfawcus
I guess that this is a metaphor for life. If you try hard enough and are sufficiently motivated, nothing is impossible. The sky's the limit. An interesting flash fiction for the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
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I guess that this is a metaphor for life. If you try hard enough and are sufficiently motivated, nothing is impossible. The sky's the limit. An interesting flash fiction for the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from called2rite
What an encouragement to never give up after failing. Kinda like going bankrupt three times before you become a millionaire. I have entered Poets and Writers contests before, but never won anything. Wishing a good life of writing for you. comment made on 3-9-19 by called2rite.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
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What an encouragement to never give up after failing. Kinda like going bankrupt three times before you become a millionaire. I have entered Poets and Writers contests before, but never won anything. Wishing a good life of writing for you. comment made on 3-9-19 by called2rite.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2019
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Interesting to Know, but you will win and so will I. Thank you so much for this review. I appreciate it. :)
Comment from DeborahWrite
Hello Raul1, I enjoyed your short story and your clear and exact writing. It's great when people can achieve the impossible "jump" and you had me rooting for him! My best, Deborah
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hello Raul1, I enjoyed your short story and your clear and exact writing. It's great when people can achieve the impossible "jump" and you had me rooting for him! My best, Deborah
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much, Deborah! :)
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I greatly enjoyed your work :) Deborah
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I am happy that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ben Colder
This is interesting about a person who can jump far. I knew a guy we called frog that could do the same. Best to you in the contest. You may have a winner. Never know about things.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This is interesting about a person who can jump far. I knew a guy we called frog that could do the same. Best to you in the contest. You may have a winner. Never know about things.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much!
Comment from AdaJulie
Nice story, great job. A couple of suggestions might be to not repeat he or his so many times as well as the word tried. The word decided might replace tried in a couple of locations.
Very good,,,,
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Nice story, great job. A couple of suggestions might be to not repeat he or his so many times as well as the word tried. The word decided might replace tried in a couple of locations.
Very good,,,,
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you!
