Little Bird
A sad, lone call in the cold8 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
What a beautiful poignant poem. You will draw the reader in as you talk with the bird. This becomes a universal poem. Who of us would not want to ask the bird the same thing? Who of us has been touched by your pain of deep loss? I am voting for this one. I also would like to share my poem with you:
O Little Bird
O Little Bird, teach me to pray
O Little Bird, show me your way
Let me hear your voice above the sound
Of the noise that is around
Noise that's not part of you or your kin
O Little Bird, let me in
We are made of stardust, both you and I
I, in Mother Earth
You, in Father Sky
I wish us to be close, not far apart
O Little Bird, open up your heart
O Little Bird, let me in
O Little Bird, I am your kin
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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What a beautiful poignant poem. You will draw the reader in as you talk with the bird. This becomes a universal poem. Who of us would not want to ask the bird the same thing? Who of us has been touched by your pain of deep loss? I am voting for this one. I also would like to share my poem with you:
O Little Bird
O Little Bird, teach me to pray
O Little Bird, show me your way
Let me hear your voice above the sound
Of the noise that is around
Noise that's not part of you or your kin
O Little Bird, let me in
We are made of stardust, both you and I
I, in Mother Earth
You, in Father Sky
I wish us to be close, not far apart
O Little Bird, open up your heart
O Little Bird, let me in
O Little Bird, I am your kin
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Well, Liz, I'm sure your plaintive wish has been heard and your kin has let you in. Thank you for sharing your poem and reviewing mine. Your thoughts are much appreciated.
Comment from Connie Frazier
Awww, this is lovely. It's sad, but the gentleness in it makes it hopeful somehow too. Even without rhymes the pace moves along at a pleasant rate. It's very nicely written.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Awww, this is lovely. It's sad, but the gentleness in it makes it hopeful somehow too. Even without rhymes the pace moves along at a pleasant rate. It's very nicely written.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Thanks, so much for your read and your comments.
Comment from Donka Kristeva
So very moving! I wish you the best in the contest. This touches the heart. Although the mood is sad, one can take comfort that Spring will be coming. The art work is lovely.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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So very moving! I wish you the best in the contest. This touches the heart. Although the mood is sad, one can take comfort that Spring will be coming. The art work is lovely.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Thanks, so much for your read and your comments. Can't wait for those first warm breezes.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a sad and heart wrenching verse.. The conversation with the bird portrays a kindred spirit because they are both alone and the conversation is about being alone. Well written free verse.
Melissa
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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This is a sad and heart wrenching verse.. The conversation with the bird portrays a kindred spirit because they are both alone and the conversation is about being alone. Well written free verse.
Melissa
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Thanks, so much for your read and your comments.
Comment from Ima L. Ami
This is a sad and beautiful free verse poem, but I only gave it four stars because it is not on the topic of the contest. I have to admit that your skill in writing free verse is better than mine will ever be, but why did you not go with the topic?
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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This is a sad and beautiful free verse poem, but I only gave it four stars because it is not on the topic of the contest. I have to admit that your skill in writing free verse is better than mine will ever be, but why did you not go with the topic?
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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That little bird outside my window was a prized object that I have held in my mind for many a day. I still remember him on a cold morning, just seeming to look at me through my kitchen window. I thought this met the criteria, even though it was not an object that one could hold, never the less it was a memory that is prized. Thanks for the read.
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I suppose that makes good enough sense!
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Thanks for the reply
Comment from WryWriter
A lovely poem about assuredness of a loved one's passing to a better place...the memory brought about by a bird...like the dove alighting the ark. Great photo for theme. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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A lovely poem about assuredness of a loved one's passing to a better place...the memory brought about by a bird...like the dove alighting the ark. Great photo for theme. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated.
Comment from rspoet
Hello writer,
You've written an excellent free verse poem for the contest
I like the way you compare the loneliness of the bird to the poet
who has lost a mate, perhaps as the bird has.
Many will relate to your story in the poem.
The bird looks like an indigo bunting, in the finch family.
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Hello writer,
You've written an excellent free verse poem for the contest
I like the way you compare the loneliness of the bird to the poet
who has lost a mate, perhaps as the bird has.
Many will relate to your story in the poem.
The bird looks like an indigo bunting, in the finch family.
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for your read and your comments. Appreciated.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This concise piece is very appealing and contemplative.
I think it gives us some kind of comfort to "converse" with
nature's creatures and perhaps transfer our thoughts to them.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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This concise piece is very appealing and contemplative.
I think it gives us some kind of comfort to "converse" with
nature's creatures and perhaps transfer our thoughts to them.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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I often wonder what certain animals are thinking, if they can think. It is fun to think they can. I know they can feel and express love. Thanks for your read and your kind words.
