The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "The Piper, part 22"Young Adult Fantasy
20 total reviews
Comment from May 1
Haha, I love the playful tone here. Ah, the worst time to interrupt, I can tell. The horses do sound awesome. Honestly, I am getting very annoyed with Burkehart. I hope he stays with Redd-Leif because honestly, I think he deserves to know the truth.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Haha, I love the playful tone here. Ah, the worst time to interrupt, I can tell. The horses do sound awesome. Honestly, I am getting very annoyed with Burkehart. I hope he stays with Redd-Leif because honestly, I think he deserves to know the truth.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi May 1,
I am happy to hear you like the playful tone at the beginning, and are deciding which characters you like. Your analysis is helpful. Thank you.
Debi
Comment from lyenochka
I am reading this out of order and I already read the post after this one so I know that Piper is of fairy folk lineage. However, I got a bad feeling about Captain Burkehart though I don't know why. He's the one I wouldn't trust.
I like how you chose "Abel and Seth" and carefully avoided "Cain" for the horses' names!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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I am reading this out of order and I already read the post after this one so I know that Piper is of fairy folk lineage. However, I got a bad feeling about Captain Burkehart though I don't know why. He's the one I wouldn't trust.
I like how you chose "Abel and Seth" and carefully avoided "Cain" for the horses' names!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Hi lyenochka,
I appreciate you dropping in to review a previous chapter. Thank you for your thoughts about the plot and your comments about the horses' names.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi debi. This is very well written. A nice chapter to your story. It flows along well with great interaction and dialogue between the characters. I particularly like the segment about the horses, Abel and Seth. Nice job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hi debi. This is very well written. A nice chapter to your story. It flows along well with great interaction and dialogue between the characters. I particularly like the segment about the horses, Abel and Seth. Nice job. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hi Marilyn,
Thank you for the encouraging review and for pointing out what you liked.
Debi
Comment from diamondbogle
This is really good. Very well put together and thought out. It flowed nicely and had imagery and emotion. I really enjoyed reading this. Overall really well done.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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This is really good. Very well put together and thought out. It flowed nicely and had imagery and emotion. I really enjoyed reading this. Overall really well done.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I am happy you enjoyed reading it.
Debi
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
This is my light-reading for the day. It is always nice to enter the imagination of another reader and delight in the magic.
Well done and I look forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hi there,
This is my light-reading for the day. It is always nice to enter the imagination of another reader and delight in the magic.
Well done and I look forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hi Patty,
I am happy your u dropped For some light reading and enjoyed the magic. 😊
Debi
Comment from F. Wehr3
I think I've missed a chapter of this story. I remember all the characters. Interesting what Captain Burkehart said, about the types of lies the Fae tell. I don't believe it to true, but it makes it plausible for Piper to question it.
They did seem to enjoy it so he continued rubbing the neck of the closest one. --Suggest a comma before so.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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I think I've missed a chapter of this story. I remember all the characters. Interesting what Captain Burkehart said, about the types of lies the Fae tell. I don't believe it to true, but it makes it plausible for Piper to question it.
They did seem to enjoy it so he continued rubbing the neck of the closest one. --Suggest a comma before so.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Hi Russell,
Thank you for the wonderful six star rating. It always makes me smile to get one. I appreciate the comments scout the characters. Thanks also for the comma suggestion.
Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Redd-Leif smiled. "Yes, Piper." He took a deep breath. "As a matter of fact, I'm married to-"
An unfinished sentence adds mystery to the story. Will the sentence end with the name of someone Piper knows?
The chapter really takes off with a kind of summary paragraph:"Because Fair Folk are tricksters. They especially like to lure young men and women your age away from their homes never to be seen again. Sometimes they try to convince ...
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Redd-Leif smiled. "Yes, Piper." He took a deep breath. "As a matter of fact, I'm married to-"
An unfinished sentence adds mystery to the story. Will the sentence end with the name of someone Piper knows?
The chapter really takes off with a kind of summary paragraph:"Because Fair Folk are tricksters. They especially like to lure young men and women your age away from their homes never to be seen again. Sometimes they try to convince ...
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Hi Shari,
Thank you for the encouraging comments and analysis. I appreciate you dropping in, especially since these installments have been sporadic at best. Now that I finally have a job I hope to get back to a more regular writing schedule.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You have written another excellent chapter, Debi.
-You catch us up on Piper's friends, and it
would seem all is well with them.
-You also include Piper's current travels to
see his Elven mother with Redd-Leif.
-He, in turn, reveals he has a wife, but
is conveniently interrupted by the cobbler
before he says who she is.
-This situation leads to the ending, when we
meet up with Burkehart again.
-The beautiful horses Piper admires give the
excuse Burkehart needs to speak to Piper
without anyone being suspicious.
-Burkehart is updated about Rupert and
his whereabouts, but he casts doubts on
whether the Fae can be trusted.
-He wants Piper to come with him, but then
the shoes are finished.
-You leave us with the nagging question: Is
Redd-Leif the one Piper can trust and is Burkehart
the one with ulterior motives?
-Regardless, I am sure there are more journeys for Piper,
and I look forward to each one.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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-You have written another excellent chapter, Debi.
-You catch us up on Piper's friends, and it
would seem all is well with them.
-You also include Piper's current travels to
see his Elven mother with Redd-Leif.
-He, in turn, reveals he has a wife, but
is conveniently interrupted by the cobbler
before he says who she is.
-This situation leads to the ending, when we
meet up with Burkehart again.
-The beautiful horses Piper admires give the
excuse Burkehart needs to speak to Piper
without anyone being suspicious.
-Burkehart is updated about Rupert and
his whereabouts, but he casts doubts on
whether the Fae can be trusted.
-He wants Piper to come with him, but then
the shoes are finished.
-You leave us with the nagging question: Is
Redd-Leif the one Piper can trust and is Burkehart
the one with ulterior motives?
-Regardless, I am sure there are more journeys for Piper,
and I look forward to each one.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Hi Pam,
Thank you so much for the excellent analysis and for continuing to follow the story. Also, you brightened my day with the generous six star rating.
Debi
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and comments, Debi. I am glad the stars brightened your day.
Comment from rspoet
Hello w.j. debi,
Another excellent chapter in the tale of The Piper.
I love those near reveals, when the character is one word away...
(As a writer, but as a reader, I shout out, "finish your sentence.") lol
Abel and Seth, interesting choice of names, with no mention of Cain.
But then Burkehart coincidentally appears, like the "bad voice" of conscience.
Of course, we don't know for sure that he is the bad guy,
only that his name sounds like "Blackeheart."
Love your wonderful story of the Piper.
Robert
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Hello w.j. debi,
Another excellent chapter in the tale of The Piper.
I love those near reveals, when the character is one word away...
(As a writer, but as a reader, I shout out, "finish your sentence.") lol
Abel and Seth, interesting choice of names, with no mention of Cain.
But then Burkehart coincidentally appears, like the "bad voice" of conscience.
Of course, we don't know for sure that he is the bad guy,
only that his name sounds like "Blackeheart."
Love your wonderful story of the Piper.
Robert
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for the six stars. I enjoy you analysis and the kind comments. Thank you for sticking with the story. You made my day, Robert!
Debi
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, great story in a good setting that is very vivid and believable. YOur dialogue is your strength as a writer, and what a good strength that is to be able to write good dialogue that is realistic and propels the narrative. I noticed no errors and thanks for sharing your story, which I found a pleasure to read and review, Ana.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Hello, great story in a good setting that is very vivid and believable. YOur dialogue is your strength as a writer, and what a good strength that is to be able to write good dialogue that is realistic and propels the narrative. I noticed no errors and thanks for sharing your story, which I found a pleasure to read and review, Ana.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Hi Ana,
Thank you for such an encouraging review. This chapter is heavy on dialogue. Thank you for commenting on how that makes the story work.
Debi