Twin sisters
Very different lives55 total reviews
Comment from Possummagic
An interesting short story in the form of a poem. I liked how you used your words and phrases and it clearly described the differences between the twin sisters. Looks alone can't tell the story. PM
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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An interesting short story in the form of a poem. I liked how you used your words and phrases and it clearly described the differences between the twin sisters. Looks alone can't tell the story. PM
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks
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You?re welcome
Comment from brenda faye curtis
This is a great story poem! You have effective character development, backstory and insight into the character's thoughts and their nature. I'm sure you'll do well in this contest, Jen.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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This is a great story poem! You have effective character development, backstory and insight into the character's thoughts and their nature. I'm sure you'll do well in this contest, Jen.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks
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You're welcome.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Jen. I did not get a message because it was a blind contest. I am going to send you a private message on this. This is a good story entry for the contest. Joan and Jane. Here did you consider her rather than their? Not a huge deal. But contest poems deserve the best. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
"Neither regrets their choice in life,
they each tackle the chores of the day "
"Neither regrets her choice in life"?
Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Hi Jen. I did not get a message because it was a blind contest. I am going to send you a private message on this. This is a good story entry for the contest. Joan and Jane. Here did you consider her rather than their? Not a huge deal. But contest poems deserve the best. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
"Neither regrets their choice in life,
they each tackle the chores of the day "
"Neither regrets her choice in life"?
Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thanks Pam
Comment from karenina
I might be offended if not for the effective cheeky tone you manage with quick meyer and almost flippantly devil may car rhyme! Instead I had myself a little chuckle and thought "clever you!"
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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I might be offended if not for the effective cheeky tone you manage with quick meyer and almost flippantly devil may car rhyme! Instead I had myself a little chuckle and thought "clever you!"
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for the great review, much appreciated.
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You are so welcome!
Comment from Mastery
LOL. Now this is definitely a different slant on telling a storyn within a poem. Very well done even if some of the rhymes seem forced here and there, like here:
"and conducts her business from there.
Joan lives in a convent
with nothing around but fresh air."
Good job overall for sure.
Bob
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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LOL. Now this is definitely a different slant on telling a storyn within a poem. Very well done even if some of the rhymes seem forced here and there, like here:
"and conducts her business from there.
Joan lives in a convent
with nothing around but fresh air."
Good job overall for sure.
Bob
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a most interesting response to the prompt, Jen. These twins couldn't be any different unless they were from two completely different families.
I very much admire how you've juxtaposed their vastly different lives and resolved the conflicts with both of them yearning at times for what the other has.
Excellent post and authentically unique.
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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This is a most interesting response to the prompt, Jen. These twins couldn't be any different unless they were from two completely different families.
I very much admire how you've juxtaposed their vastly different lives and resolved the conflicts with both of them yearning at times for what the other has.
Excellent post and authentically unique.
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks Gloria for the great review.
Comment from victor 66
Fifty years ago plus, I was in the Marine Corps. An old Gunnery Sergeant once told me, "Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady, and you'll never go wrong". I was raised by two very strong women, my mother and grandmother. So I treat all women like ladies. Different paths, different choices but interesting desires. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Fifty years ago plus, I was in the Marine Corps. An old Gunnery Sergeant once told me, "Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady, and you'll never go wrong". I was raised by two very strong women, my mother and grandmother. So I treat all women like ladies. Different paths, different choices but interesting desires. Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks for the review
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You are welcome, Jenintorre.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, I really liked your poem and the story it has within. It made me smile a lot and I really liked your last punch line in the poem. Good luck with this imaginative poem. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Hi there, I really liked your poem and the story it has within. It made me smile a lot and I really liked your last punch line in the poem. Good luck with this imaginative poem. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 06-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story poem, Twin Sisters, has a good concept of sisters on the opposite poles of society. The irony shown in the conclusion, which is probably true of everyone, is that we would all like to flirt with the other side just to say we did.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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This story poem, Twin Sisters, has a good concept of sisters on the opposite poles of society. The irony shown in the conclusion, which is probably true of everyone, is that we would all like to flirt with the other side just to say we did.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks Bill
Comment from Zue65
I just love the story of these two sisters and the exploration of the contrast in their choices, status in life and the respective paths they took. Despite the stark difference, they remained as loving sisters. Reality may not be end like this two sisters, but I really enjoyed your poem. Very well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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I just love the story of these two sisters and the exploration of the contrast in their choices, status in life and the respective paths they took. Despite the stark difference, they remained as loving sisters. Reality may not be end like this two sisters, but I really enjoyed your poem. Very well done.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thanks for your great review