The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Piper, part 21"Young Adult Fantasy
14 total reviews
Comment from May 1
I love the fact that I can imagine the smells so clearly. Haha, Sheba is awesome. Hm, I wonder what else are they hiding from him. At one point I even thought Redd-Leif was his father but now I am not sure. Then again I might be right. I love how you make me change my mind many times in one chapter, it makes it even more fun to read.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
I love the fact that I can imagine the smells so clearly. Haha, Sheba is awesome. Hm, I wonder what else are they hiding from him. At one point I even thought Redd-Leif was his father but now I am not sure. Then again I might be right. I love how you make me change my mind many times in one chapter, it makes it even more fun to read.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Hi May 1,
I love that you can imagine the smells, and that you like Sheba. She is fun to write. Hey, when you are stuck as a wolf, you have to have some fun.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello w.j.debi
I'm so glad that you stopped by and read one of my postings, otherwise, I wouldn't know about you fantasy story about the adventures of The Piper
I enjoyed it.
Gert
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
Hello w.j.debi
I'm so glad that you stopped by and read one of my postings, otherwise, I wouldn't know about you fantasy story about the adventures of The Piper
I enjoyed it.
Gert
Comment Written 03-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
-
Thank you, Gert. I am happy to hear you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by. Debi
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Debi
What a splendid chapter! Your descriptions lend a deep sense of place. Though I am not too familiar with the characters, except Piper, I got a very good sense of their personalities as well. And you set up a fine degree of anticipation for what lays in the Elven Village and what it means for Piper's future.
Bravo, my friend.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
Hi, Debi
What a splendid chapter! Your descriptions lend a deep sense of place. Though I am not too familiar with the characters, except Piper, I got a very good sense of their personalities as well. And you set up a fine degree of anticipation for what lays in the Elven Village and what it means for Piper's future.
Bravo, my friend.
:) Bev
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
-
HI Bev,
I hope you are doing well.
Thank you so much for the kind comments and the six stars! It brightened my day and was unexpected since the piece has dropped off the promotion page.
I check out your page from time to time, but looks like life is keeping you too busy to write much.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Debi
-
You're very welcome, Debi. I am very happy to see how your story has evolved in a real page-turner. I am off site using editing services on my first novel. I'm glad I checked in before you disappeared from my list!
Hope you're enjoying the Memorial weekend.
:) Bev
Comment from Spitfire
Once again, you've drawn me into your fantasy world. Your smart dialogue defines the characters and carries the plot along. Looks as if Piper is gradually awakening to find his identity.
reply by the author on 24-May-2018
Once again, you've drawn me into your fantasy world. Your smart dialogue defines the characters and carries the plot along. Looks as if Piper is gradually awakening to find his identity.
Comment Written 23-May-2018
reply by the author on 24-May-2018
-
Thank you, Shari. I appreciate your encouragement. Debi
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Debi. So good to see you post another chapter. I think you probbly take your time and only post when you feel you have yourn best stuff. Good for you. As you know some people on here post two and three items a dy on this site. How dom they do that? LOL Of course they are only doin it to move their names up up up in the rankings. Whew!
Now for your chapter, my friend:
You hv ewonderful imgery throughout your writing, like here:
"A stronger gust of wind whipped his cloak about him then settled back to a steady breeze. (from previous chapter notes)
Chpter 21: ghin your imagery shines for the reader, Deb. Like this: " The aromas of moist soil and forest vegetation hovered in the spring air."
And: "Up ahead Piper saw Redd-Leif leaning against a tree as if he were part of it, a silhouette against the pre-dawn sky."
(Wonderful)
And your interchange of dialogue is believble and flawless with very few taga.
Good for you! Blessings. Bob
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
Hi, Debi. So good to see you post another chapter. I think you probbly take your time and only post when you feel you have yourn best stuff. Good for you. As you know some people on here post two and three items a dy on this site. How dom they do that? LOL Of course they are only doin it to move their names up up up in the rankings. Whew!
Now for your chapter, my friend:
You hv ewonderful imgery throughout your writing, like here:
"A stronger gust of wind whipped his cloak about him then settled back to a steady breeze. (from previous chapter notes)
Chpter 21: ghin your imagery shines for the reader, Deb. Like this: " The aromas of moist soil and forest vegetation hovered in the spring air."
And: "Up ahead Piper saw Redd-Leif leaning against a tree as if he were part of it, a silhouette against the pre-dawn sky."
(Wonderful)
And your interchange of dialogue is believble and flawless with very few taga.
Good for you! Blessings. Bob
Comment Written 21-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
-
Hi Bob,
Thanks so much for the wonderful review and taking time to point out what you liked. I appreciate the six stars too.
Debi
Comment from kiwijenny
For the next few minutes the sounds of the waking forest increased, each adding its part to nature's symphony: various bird song, chirping squirrels, animals rustling in the shrubs and forest canopy, and the sounds of insects. Overhead a hawk circle
I love how you capture nature
Well done
God bless
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
For the next few minutes the sounds of the waking forest increased, each adding its part to nature's symphony: various bird song, chirping squirrels, animals rustling in the shrubs and forest canopy, and the sounds of insects. Overhead a hawk circle
I love how you capture nature
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
-
Thank you for the kind comments.
Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Redd-Leif is having a very hard time getting the two of them to move a little faster. He knows how anxious Melodica
is to see her son Piper. She hasn't seen him for a long time. Meanwhile Captain Burkehart has ditched the rest of the Caravan and is searching for the missing boys. Will he be successful before they reach the Elven village? Well done Debi. Nancy
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
Redd-Leif is having a very hard time getting the two of them to move a little faster. He knows how anxious Melodica
is to see her son Piper. She hasn't seen him for a long time. Meanwhile Captain Burkehart has ditched the rest of the Caravan and is searching for the missing boys. Will he be successful before they reach the Elven village? Well done Debi. Nancy
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
-
Hi Nancy,
Thank you for continuing to follow the story. I appreciate the analysis and the comments.
Debi
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, W.J. Debi,
Haven't seen you in a long time! Nice to read this awesome story. This is a lot better than my Piper. I can't wait for the next chapter so please stick around. :)
Nome
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
Hello, W.J. Debi,
Haven't seen you in a long time! Nice to read this awesome story. This is a lot better than my Piper. I can't wait for the next chapter so please stick around. :)
Nome
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
-
Hi Rasmine,
Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the six star rating. You made my day! I'll be checking out your Flower Power series and you have a Piper too? I'll be dropping by.
Debi
-
Piper isn't on here. It's a story I wrote a very long time ago.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I was so glad to see another instalment of this tale, and I wasn't disappointed on reading it. All is as it should be. Very nice descriptive work and the tone, voice of the piece remains consistent with what has gone before. A good continuation.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
Hi there,
I was so glad to see another instalment of this tale, and I wasn't disappointed on reading it. All is as it should be. Very nice descriptive work and the tone, voice of the piece remains consistent with what has gone before. A good continuation.
All the best
G
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
-
Thank you, G. I always appreciate your feedback. A thumbs up from you makes my day brighter!
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Another great and interesting chapter. I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvements. I am looking forward to Piper meeting his mother and discovering his hidden heritage.
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
Another great and interesting chapter. I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvements. I am looking forward to Piper meeting his mother and discovering his hidden heritage.
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
-
Thank you so much for the encouraging comments, Roxanna. Piper will be jetting her soon. Debi