GULBRANDR- God's Sword
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Dragons, cats and bears. Oh my!"A child is born who will be a champion
8 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent descriptions in the fight scene with the bear, the cat, the arrows from Nyla and poor Joshua. It would make a great movie scene.
One question, I know this is fantasy, but I thought grizzly bears were North American animals and this story is more European in setting. Hey, poetic license allows it. I was just curious.
An enjoyable read with lots of action and interesting characters and creatures.
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Excellent descriptions in the fight scene with the bear, the cat, the arrows from Nyla and poor Joshua. It would make a great movie scene.
One question, I know this is fantasy, but I thought grizzly bears were North American animals and this story is more European in setting. Hey, poetic license allows it. I was just curious.
An enjoyable read with lots of action and interesting characters and creatures.
Comment Written 21-May-2018
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Back in the dark ages or when ever this takes place, I haven't really decided yet as I have no idea what I'm doing here, animals did reside in may different places. I think, I could just be making that up, but I think I did read or see it somewhere on one of those planet earth shows. =} I believe they do find Woolly Mammoths all over. Anyway, in my story there is a huge bear to help make things more interesting. =} Maybe I just like making things up. =} Rox
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You do a good job making it up. Keep at it
Comment from Brett Matthew West
So, the bear thought "Joshua" would be a tasty morsel to feast on. Appeared to be a little more telling in this chapter than in previous ones. Good description of the wonderland.
reply by the author on 20-May-2018
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So, the bear thought "Joshua" would be a tasty morsel to feast on. Appeared to be a little more telling in this chapter than in previous ones. Good description of the wonderland.
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 20-May-2018
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Thank you, you are most kind. I am going to quit the story for now as I am so frustrated with it and can't get it to where I want. I feel it is deteriorating so thinkl it best to back away for a time. Thank you so for sticking with it this long and I do hope to go back to it and finish it. Rox
Comment from Ulla
Hi Roxanna, this is a great story and great writing. I truly hope Joshua will be alright, but I'm sure that will be the case. The only thing to say is that I would have liked more dialogue to make it less telling.
In Background: The child will grow up to a champion for his people and led a vast army against a great evil. =... and lead a vast army against a great evil.
A great read, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-May-2018
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Hi Roxanna, this is a great story and great writing. I truly hope Joshua will be alright, but I'm sure that will be the case. The only thing to say is that I would have liked more dialogue to make it less telling.
In Background: The child will grow up to a champion for his people and led a vast army against a great evil. =... and lead a vast army against a great evil.
A great read, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-May-2018
reply by the author on 17-May-2018
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Thank you so much for reading Ulla. This is out of my comfort zone. I have never written anything like this before, I usually do childrens book. It's more my speed. =} The next chapter will have tons of dialogue, I kind of go back and forth with narrative and dialogue. Thank you so much for the review and helps. Have a great day. Rox
Comment from Debbie Pope
I am so glad to get back to your story. On my travels, I have missed your blue dragons. I have nothing to offer in the way of a review--just praise. I certainly hope you have plans to publish. I see this more as a middle school adventure story that is fun for adults to read as well.
reply by the author on 15-May-2018
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I am so glad to get back to your story. On my travels, I have missed your blue dragons. I have nothing to offer in the way of a review--just praise. I certainly hope you have plans to publish. I see this more as a middle school adventure story that is fun for adults to read as well.
Comment Written 15-May-2018
reply by the author on 15-May-2018
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Thank you so much Debbie, for the great review and all the stars. Wow. I am humbled. I have no plans to publish at the moment, but we will see what happens. If enough of my millions of fans ask for it, I may. Ha, ha. =} Thank you so much again, Rox
Comment from royowen
An excellent episode Roxanna, the battle scenes were beautifully described, the first person individual thoughts and and emotional illumination were excellent, and as I've always thought, the selflessness and uncaring their own personal safety of the animals and humans was manifestly good. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Augdon saw her fear and (tired) to comfort her. Tried? 2: dragged him onto the dragon(')s back.
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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An excellent episode Roxanna, the battle scenes were beautifully described, the first person individual thoughts and and emotional illumination were excellent, and as I've always thought, the selflessness and uncaring their own personal safety of the animals and humans was manifestly good. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Augdon saw her fear and (tired) to comfort her. Tried? 2: dragged him onto the dragon(')s back.
Comment Written 14-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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Thank you so much Roy and for the corrections. I always have a few it seems. Blessing to you too. Rox
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Most welckme Roxanna
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Of course Joshua will be fine, he has to be, and that's all there is to it! I won't have him dying now!!! LOL! I wish I had a dragon friend like Dyster who would look after me like he does for Joshua. How wonderful that would be. Okay, now I hope they manage to persuade the people at Wahaland to join forces with them, but with Hamish there, I think they are going to have a tough time doing it. This is coming on a treat, my friend. I'm still loving this story. I found a few nits, not anything serious. Big hugs my friend. :))Sandra xxx
(add) [take out]
She tired (tried) to sooth the huge beast,
frantically trying (to) rid himself of the unwelcome visitor.
ring again when an arrow lodge(d) in the bear's side
Augdon had to grab[bed] him by the ridges on his neck
finally on their way, the group[ed] talked little,
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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Of course Joshua will be fine, he has to be, and that's all there is to it! I won't have him dying now!!! LOL! I wish I had a dragon friend like Dyster who would look after me like he does for Joshua. How wonderful that would be. Okay, now I hope they manage to persuade the people at Wahaland to join forces with them, but with Hamish there, I think they are going to have a tough time doing it. This is coming on a treat, my friend. I'm still loving this story. I found a few nits, not anything serious. Big hugs my friend. :))Sandra xxx
(add) [take out]
She tired (tried) to sooth the huge beast,
frantically trying (to) rid himself of the unwelcome visitor.
ring again when an arrow lodge(d) in the bear's side
Augdon had to grab[bed] him by the ridges on his neck
finally on their way, the group[ed] talked little,
Comment Written 14-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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Thanks so much dear and for the corrections. I fixed them. Have a great week. Rox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
the group[ed] talked little, drop the ed.
A bear is a formidable foe. They are always so huge. This one was no exception. He did a lot of damage and so the group had to change a lot of plans, but they will continue on without Joshua. I have a feeling it will all work out. Good imagery Roxie. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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the group[ed] talked little, drop the ed.
A bear is a formidable foe. They are always so huge. This one was no exception. He did a lot of damage and so the group had to change a lot of plans, but they will continue on without Joshua. I have a feeling it will all work out. Good imagery Roxie. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 14-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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Thank you Nancy. I thought I fixed that boo boo. I'll look again. Thanks for the great review and helps, I know that I would never want to run into a bear as the outcome is never good. We have them here is FL. They are black bears mainly, so small, but still have attacked people and are strong whatever size the are. With a grizzly there is no contest, you are pretty much doomed or in for some bad injuries. I have heard so many stories and never wish to encounter one. Thank you again.
Comment from meeshu
this so great, Roxanna. your description of this fantastic wonderland you have created is outstanding. a land with dragons and bears and such is fun. (not when they try and kill each other).........meeshu
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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this so great, Roxanna. your description of this fantastic wonderland you have created is outstanding. a land with dragons and bears and such is fun. (not when they try and kill each other).........meeshu
Comment Written 14-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-May-2018
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No it's never fun when you are being killed. =} Thanks so much. Rox