Reviews from

Worlds

Viewing comments for Chapter 157 "Parakeet World 4"
Animal poetry and short stories

17 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yet again, Bill, you are playing beautifully with the words. I love it. Now I need to fill this in so my review will be accepted. Well, here we go. Great imagery. All in its place. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2018
    Thanks Ulla.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm thinking the "bass" is also a fish not the instrument or the singer. Like the alliteration (bass basket) and (parakeet - perch) but I'm lost with the symbolism. Perhaps it's abstract poetry?

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Perhaps
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

When I wake up from this nightmare, you are going to have to tell me what hallucinogenic drug you slipped me. I know that I must be high, because the sense of tripping is very strong within me right now.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Stay calm
Comment from damommy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

One of those little sing-song phrases that don't make sense but kids love. I do, too. lol. This will be hung in my head all day. 8-)

Love the photo.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Thanks, da
Comment from Ginnygray
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice 5/7/5, Bill and very clever. I saw the fish in the cage, but couldn't find the parakeet on his perch.ð???. I really liked the play on the "b" words in the satori. (Bass, Basket). Great poem.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Thanks, Ginny. You?re too kind.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That's a strange image. I've heard the expression "Fish out of water" but this one goes to extremes! Nice alliteration in this with parakeet-perch and bass-basket. Did you mean casket in the last line, or are you thinking along the lines of fish in a basket accompanied with French fries? judi

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    I?m thinking that it wasn?t ?ready for prime time?.
reply by judiverse on 11-Apr-2018
    Aw, it was fun. judi
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the image, but the poor fish doesn't look to happy being there. I guess he ended up in the basket. Your 5-7-5 has the right syllable count and reads smoothly. A good addition to your parakeet collection poems. Marilyn

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Thanks, Marilyn
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ha, that's the coolest looking parakeet I've ever seen, Bill. Maybe it's one of those new fangled fish tanks? Where's the cat, and how come the bass was in the basket? I know I'm missing this one somehow, but still great fun and got me thinking and now my brain hurts. lol.

Great job. I quite enjoyed.

Gloria

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Would this read better?

    Bass in a birdcage

    parakeet upon a 'perch'

    Fish in a basket
Comment from Marisela Contona
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very fun and lightheaded piece. I love parakeets. My husband, and I have one. I also like the image you chose.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Thanks, Marisela
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This speaks what happens when things are placed differently at different places beyond placing or keeping at their right place like fish out of water; well said, well done. Keep Writing Inspire Changing -- DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
    Thanks, ALD