Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Last Thing You See"Shorter stories
30 total reviews
Comment from Earl Corp
I'm going to try to read all the short stories in this book but I know it will take some time. Great twist in this one. Good luck with this endeavor. Thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
I'm going to try to read all the short stories in this book but I know it will take some time. Great twist in this one. Good luck with this endeavor. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Thanks, Earl
Comment from Spitfire
Ha, ha. Love the irony of the first line --foreshadowing a surprise ending. Good name choice--Dink. Seems he's a nerd who wants to be a tough guy.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
Ha, ha. Love the irony of the first line --foreshadowing a surprise ending. Good name choice--Dink. Seems he's a nerd who wants to be a tough guy.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Shari.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks anger brings disaster, Dink lost his own life taking action angrily; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
This speaks anger brings disaster, Dink lost his own life taking action angrily; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Thanks, ALD
Comment from smileycloud
good fine drabble with fire and passion and good characterisation
I am thinking the gun went off accidently
but hey
it certainly was an apt ending to the story line
great work
interesting and captivating
have a smiley day
Lorraine
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
good fine drabble with fire and passion and good characterisation
I am thinking the gun went off accidently
but hey
it certainly was an apt ending to the story line
great work
interesting and captivating
have a smiley day
Lorraine
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Lorraine
Comment from brenda faye curtis
Bizarre! And I love it. It is a twisted tale of foolish fate that threw me a curve, and, oddly, reminded me of "The Darwin Awards" You should check that out, if you don't know it already. I hope you win this contest!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
Bizarre! And I love it. It is a twisted tale of foolish fate that threw me a curve, and, oddly, reminded me of "The Darwin Awards" You should check that out, if you don't know it already. I hope you win this contest!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Brenda, for the kind review. The first Darwin Award I read was about a guy who was trying to pry his cat out from under the couch using the butt of his loaded shotgun. It went off along with his face.
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Wow, that's crazy! Again, loved it!
Comment from Jean Lutz
Ouch! Wish there had been an added line, "Then I woke up." Guess that would have turned it to truth and it would be disqualified for the contest. That's how it works. Best to you with the entry.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
Ouch! Wish there had been an added line, "Then I woke up." Guess that would have turned it to truth and it would be disqualified for the contest. That's how it works. Best to you with the entry.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Jean, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from MelB
Hi Bill, it sounds like this guy was not in his right mind and probably a danger to others. Clearly, he was even a danger to himself! Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
Hi Bill, it sounds like this guy was not in his right mind and probably a danger to others. Clearly, he was even a danger to himself! Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
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Thanks, MelB, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Bill,
Well, I would have to say that Dink wasn't too bright! Geesh! Playing with fire, eh?
You have crafted a fine 100 word flash fiction story that definitely has a beginning, middle, and end...and a character for whom I have no empathy whatsoever!
Best Wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2018
Hello Bill,
Well, I would have to say that Dink wasn't too bright! Geesh! Playing with fire, eh?
You have crafted a fine 100 word flash fiction story that definitely has a beginning, middle, and end...and a character for whom I have no empathy whatsoever!
Best Wishes,
diane
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Mrs. KT, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from nomi338
Oh man, what a doofus. Well, he was pretty prophetic. Pathetic and prophetic at the same time, a sort of two for one type of deal I guess. In this world it takes all kinds and that is pretty much what you get, all kinds, types and sorts. Some smart and some not so smart.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2018
Oh man, what a doofus. Well, he was pretty prophetic. Pathetic and prophetic at the same time, a sort of two for one type of deal I guess. In this world it takes all kinds and that is pretty much what you get, all kinds, types and sorts. Some smart and some not so smart.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2018
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It was probably an accident. He's too dumb to do something on purpose.
Comment from Gloria ....
Great job with this story, Bill. I'm still wincing at the ending that was a complete surprise. This is a complete story and the second character implied is almost a stronger personality than the only character. That's magic. How did you pull that off?
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Great job with this story, Bill. I'm still wincing at the ending that was a complete surprise. This is a complete story and the second character implied is almost a stronger personality than the only character. That's magic. How did you pull that off?
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Gloria, for the terrific review. Bill