Friday in Ryadh
Justice9 total reviews
Comment from Ssendikwanawa Mike
Wow good introductory paragraphs.
I liked the flow of what a day looks like basing on the way it was brought ranging from the previous day situation and experience.
But seemed kind; horror towards the end.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Wow good introductory paragraphs.
I liked the flow of what a day looks like basing on the way it was brought ranging from the previous day situation and experience.
But seemed kind; horror towards the end.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thanks...
Comment from James W. Reynolds
This is an compelling story about a place I know little about. The juxtaposition of golf in the desert and the executions in the square is disturbing but effective. The tension builds slowly, and the end is brutal.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This is an compelling story about a place I know little about. The juxtaposition of golf in the desert and the executions in the square is disturbing but effective. The tension builds slowly, and the end is brutal.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Many thanks...
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This story tells some true incidents, when you were feeling thirsty, you got to see a water hole but a snake appeared, thereafter some more incidents happened, but you left the place being thirsty; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This story tells some true incidents, when you were feeling thirsty, you got to see a water hole but a snake appeared, thereafter some more incidents happened, but you left the place being thirsty; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thanks...
Comment from dracofelsinensis
This is an interesting piece of reportage, with its combination of leisure activity and vivid description of capital punishment. The style seems to be one of cool journalistic detachment, with little emotional reaction or moral judgment, allowing the facts to speak for themselves. I liked the description of the golf, with the big bounces along the hard fairways and that charming snake at the seventh hole!
One or two points I noticed:
"Ryadh" in the title but elsewhere it is always "Riyadh", which I think is correct.
"... young Saudis in uniform, (probably early teenagers,) filed down the stairs ..." - I would delete either the brackets or the commas.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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This is an interesting piece of reportage, with its combination of leisure activity and vivid description of capital punishment. The style seems to be one of cool journalistic detachment, with little emotional reaction or moral judgment, allowing the facts to speak for themselves. I liked the description of the golf, with the big bounces along the hard fairways and that charming snake at the seventh hole!
One or two points I noticed:
"Ryadh" in the title but elsewhere it is always "Riyadh", which I think is correct.
"... young Saudis in uniform, (probably early teenagers,) filed down the stairs ..." - I would delete either the brackets or the commas.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Thank you...John
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, John;
This event explained in all its gaudy excess is chilling. Could this happen in our country? How much longer will the little man with piggy eyes, who lives in the White House be satisfied with simply firing folks?
You paced the piece well and took us to the square with you. Well done,
~patty~
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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Hi, John;
This event explained in all its gaudy excess is chilling. Could this happen in our country? How much longer will the little man with piggy eyes, who lives in the White House be satisfied with simply firing folks?
You paced the piece well and took us to the square with you. Well done,
~patty~
Comment Written 26-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
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Thank you...John
Comment from apky
Heaven's above. This reminded me of the history of beheading people in London where they even stuck the heads on poles for people to admire or spit at for days. There's no end to the barbarism of mankind.
In fact, I don't know what is worse, the electrocution, gas or the needle in the USA. I once saw the film about Grisham's The Chamber, and was shocked to the marrow. How can a species who claim to be civilized concoct such ways of killing their own?
Good luck with the contest, John.
Sugestions:
a man was taken from the brown van and (delete-being) led by four policemen towards the center.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Heaven's above. This reminded me of the history of beheading people in London where they even stuck the heads on poles for people to admire or spit at for days. There's no end to the barbarism of mankind.
In fact, I don't know what is worse, the electrocution, gas or the needle in the USA. I once saw the film about Grisham's The Chamber, and was shocked to the marrow. How can a species who claim to be civilized concoct such ways of killing their own?
Good luck with the contest, John.
Sugestions:
a man was taken from the brown van and (delete-being) led by four policemen towards the center.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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I was thinking about including my Saudi experience in the book, but I am not sure where it would logically fit...Thanks, John
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'True Story' writing prompt.
Well written, your story well told, if a little bit grim.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'True Story' writing prompt.
Well written, your story well told, if a little bit grim.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thanks...John
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello,
I was captivated by your writing from the very beginning. It did not disappoint, but I must confess that to write the its conclusion is brutal is an understatement. I felt a surging of emotions after I read your offering...
Extremely well-crafted.
diane
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Hello,
I was captivated by your writing from the very beginning. It did not disappoint, but I must confess that to write the its conclusion is brutal is an understatement. I felt a surging of emotions after I read your offering...
Extremely well-crafted.
diane
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Many thanks...John
Comment from tfawcus
Witnessing a public execution of this nature would leave a lasting impression. Your writing imbues the scene with a nightmarish quality. Surreal, as you say. Choosing to place the story alongside the contrast of a golfing anecdote intensifies the impact. I remember a similar incident playing on the browns in Darwin years ago and finding a rather large snake curled up on the oiled sand. We decided not to complete that particular hole!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Witnessing a public execution of this nature would leave a lasting impression. Your writing imbues the scene with a nightmarish quality. Surreal, as you say. Choosing to place the story alongside the contrast of a golfing anecdote intensifies the impact. I remember a similar incident playing on the browns in Darwin years ago and finding a rather large snake curled up on the oiled sand. We decided not to complete that particular hole!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you much...John
