Senryu (smiles and cries combined)
A senryu poem.11 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
An interesting entry for the senryu contest. I like the way you've titled it, that was how I was taught to title my own senryu -- kudos.
But I didn't really get the gist of your poem. Why is there both crying and smiling? That's not clear -- nor is why these emotions automatically turn to anger...?
Not sure what you're saying here -- and as another small note, your font choice makes this difficult to read.
Maybe only one person's thought, but I hope they may help. Good luck!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Dear Mystery Writer,
An interesting entry for the senryu contest. I like the way you've titled it, that was how I was taught to title my own senryu -- kudos.
But I didn't really get the gist of your poem. Why is there both crying and smiling? That's not clear -- nor is why these emotions automatically turn to anger...?
Not sure what you're saying here -- and as another small note, your font choice makes this difficult to read.
Maybe only one person's thought, but I hope they may help. Good luck!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind and understanding review, Ine. Have a lovely week.
Comment from marybell1
I liked your ideas for your senryu. Unfortuninatly I counted nine syllables in your second line 'in-gred-ie-nts'. You may wish to review this. Also your print on the pale background is not very clear.
I will behappy to up grade should you review.
All the best
Marybell1.
Much better.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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I liked your ideas for your senryu. Unfortuninatly I counted nine syllables in your second line 'in-gred-ie-nts'. You may wish to review this. Also your print on the pale background is not very clear.
I will behappy to up grade should you review.
All the best
Marybell1.
Much better.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind and understanding review, Ine. Have a lovely week.
Comment from H. Rebecca
Divide ingredients into syllables: in-gre-di-ents
are the ingredients for sorrow has nine syllables, but looking at the prompt you need seven.
I'd be glad to come back and change the rating, just let me know
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Divide ingredients into syllables: in-gre-di-ents
are the ingredients for sorrow has nine syllables, but looking at the prompt you need seven.
I'd be glad to come back and change the rating, just let me know
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday. I will check, and if necessary change.
Comment from kittykct
You are right about this combination. It's funny how we can smile in the midst of sorrow and then be angry because we can't change it. A great poem. All the best, Kitty
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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You are right about this combination. It's funny how we can smile in the midst of sorrow and then be angry because we can't change it. A great poem. All the best, Kitty
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday.
Comment from Dean Kuch
While I enjoyed the context and presentation of your senryu, Anonymous Poet, I must point out to you that your middle line has nine (9) syllables. To my knowledge, a senryu is to be composed of 17 syllables, or less, with yours having 19.
I'm not sure if you're aware of this and know something I don't, or it was merely a slight oversight on your part.
In any event, if it was a mistake I'm quite sure you'll correct it before contest time arrives.
Once you do let me know and I'll be more than happy to restore your fifth star.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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While I enjoyed the context and presentation of your senryu, Anonymous Poet, I must point out to you that your middle line has nine (9) syllables. To my knowledge, a senryu is to be composed of 17 syllables, or less, with yours having 19.
I'm not sure if you're aware of this and know something I don't, or it was merely a slight oversight on your part.
In any event, if it was a mistake I'm quite sure you'll correct it before contest time arrives.
Once you do let me know and I'll be more than happy to restore your fifth star.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday. Thanks Deaan, I will change,
Comment from sfharper
Hmm, it seems to me that you are speaking of different emotional stages and that anger follows other emotions, especially those mixed, maybe due to frustration or impatience. Your Senryu works well with the photo. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Hmm, it seems to me that you are speaking of different emotional stages and that anger follows other emotions, especially those mixed, maybe due to frustration or impatience. Your Senryu works well with the photo. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday.
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you're welcome Sheri
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Senryu. Our moods can change in a matter of seconds. One minute we can be happy and care free just to become sad and angry the next moment.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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A very well-written Senryu. Our moods can change in a matter of seconds. One minute we can be happy and care free just to become sad and angry the next moment.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
A good entry for the Senryu Poetry contest.
The picture that you have posted with it is interesting.
A good poem with emotion and a story told.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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A good entry for the Senryu Poetry contest.
The picture that you have posted with it is interesting.
A good poem with emotion and a story told.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind revew, Ine. Have a blessed and nice Sunday.
Comment from ronnie k
The mask of emotions are given view in this work, i had to almost stand back and look clearly in the precise meaning in this gem of a write, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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The mask of emotions are given view in this work, i had to almost stand back and look clearly in the precise meaning in this gem of a write, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Great contest entry and has deep philosophical meaning. Seems when someone cries and smiles this might be sign of depression and sorrow. Then, anger might follow because person is so mad because they are sad. DEEP ENTRY. truly, liberty justice
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Great contest entry and has deep philosophical meaning. Seems when someone cries and smiles this might be sign of depression and sorrow. Then, anger might follow because person is so mad because they are sad. DEEP ENTRY. truly, liberty justice
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday.
