Reviews from

Animated Stills

Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Snake of the Wood"
Inspiration of Life from Photographs

12 total reviews 
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good to see you writing again, my friend. Hope time has been kind. I only quoted you the other day, as the man of forms, next to my Uni professor. I didn't realize his poem's structure so complex. Yet, nice to read through. Some poems have difficult structures which often stems the flow of, but you did well here considering.
Well done.
My best wishes.
RG

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
    Thank you RG. Wow, that is very inspiring to hear. Thank you for the review and the recognition. I am still kicking around. Been busy publishing my 4th book. Should be out soon.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done with this poem.
Well structured and good rhyming.
And yes, I can see how the vine might cause a start as it does look rather snake like.
Sharon

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you Sharon. It is indeed. Appreciate the review.
Comment from sunnilicious
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Snakes are yucky, however, the symbolism attached to them are very good. I liked your bible source. Also, it's an animal in Chinese Astrology. Great notes. Good poem. Nice work.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you Alicia. Good to here from you.
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I could see how this branch could look like a snake from for away if is was in shadow. I like the adding of a Bible verse that correlates with the subject and acts as a bridge from imagination to reality.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you dragonpoet. Appreciate the input.
reply by dragonpoet on 10-Nov-2017
    No problem. It is why we are all members here.

    Joan
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi,
It was lovely to read your poetry after such a long break.
As always it is very well written and does justice to a challenging style.
The image and words match well and it is indeed perfect for your animated stills
collection.
:-) Shirley

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you Shirley. I've been busy with my publisher late,y.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Welcome back--I was so pleased to see your name pop up on my screen. Thank you for sharing what inspired the poem and you terrific photograph. I enjoyed your choice of the Fusion Sonnet form and your rhymes, description, plus repeat. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Hi Joan. Yup, I'm still kicking around. Been busy with mY publisher on my 4th book, to be out soon. 170 Sonnets, 74 formats, 377 pages, 53,000 words.
reply by Joan E. on 10-Nov-2017
    Congratulations on bringing out another book. Hope to read more of your work soon. Smiles- Joan
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written Fusion Sonnet. The branch of wood look indeed like a snake and I can understand that you thought it to be a real snake for a moment. An excellent photo.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Hi Sandra. Thanks for the review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

No picture Tom. I just don't know how so many poems can be called sonnets when they break sonnet rules. They should be given their own name, LOL This is informative and interesting, but I sure would like to see your picture. Well done. Nancy

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Hi Nancy. My picgture is there, no sure why you can't see it.
reply by nancy_e_davis on 09-Nov-2017
    It's in a box. I guess my computer will not open it.
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, hello, stranger! I had begun to wonder if you were still alive, Tom. Great to see you back and bang on form with a new sonnet variation. Where did this one spring from or did you invent this form yourself? I have to say I do rather like it despite its convolutions. You say that there should be the same rhyme in lines 1,5,9 and 10. 1 and 2, eyes/surprise I have no quarrel with but i don't find that rhyme repeated in the couplet, whicsports a different pair, Eve/deceive. Is that an error in the poem or in the description. I rather hope the latter is the case.

I rather like the variegated meter or rather the variegated line length for such lines as have metre are all iambic as is the first line of the free verse section. In fact resisting iambic temptation at that point must be quite difficult.

The story behind the poem is fascinating too, and I particularly liked the way you drew both the Garden of Eden and the Moses interlude together in this.

Your initial shock is understandable and reminds me of something that happened many years ago. I forget what it was I was carrying at the time but it threw a snake-like shadow on a wall. My cat saw the shadow and took off at great speed, terrified of the "snake".

Is this a flying visit or will we have the pleasure of your company ongoing?

2nd Visit. Oh! so the error was in the poem not the instructions. Good emendations.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Hi Pantygynt. You know what? I focused so much on the questions that I missed my note on the rhyme. There was so much detail in my outline, I just missed it. However, given me a few minutes, I have come up with a solution that I am happy with. Thanks for catching that, I'm sure nobody else will.
    Not my creation, a guy called Sonnet Modal created it. He has a book recently published of them.
    You are absolutely right about the iambic in the free verse. I was sorely tempted to make all the lines iambic, and had to fight myself to not.do it.
    Loved your cat recollection.
    I have been busy getting my book published. Just finished reviewing the first galleys, and expect it will be out soon. Then I will be out promoting it, so I will only have time to be in and out here periodically.
    BTW, i took you advice and tried an open mic, at a local coffee shop. It was fun. I gave my mono-rhyme poem, To My Children on Immortality. It was a big hit. I'm thinking of posting it on YouTube. Here's the text, which you haven't seen before since I posted it here in November 2012.

    Each and every time you look at Me,

    Can you see! Yes! Can you See,

    What you will be? Just look at me.

    I'm like my Dad, and he's like me.

    Not precisely, or exactly, or perfectly,

    But in body, strength, and personality,

    You will find a striking similarity.

    So shall you be,

    Eternally.

    *

    No cut can Free the Family tree.

    Your seed is Me, for I am He

    Who made you Be.

    *

    You hold the Key to my Eternity,

    For your son's seed will carry Me

    In his body 'til he sets it free

    and You and He will be like ME,

    A collective WE through society.

    So if I fail to see, Heaven's mystery,

    Or it's not to be a reality,

    Don't weep for me, continuously,

    For I shall Be -

    Genetically

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Ok my fix is now posted.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Nov-2017
    Thanks for the poem. I have taken oa copy of that. Hope you don't mind.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Nov-2017
    I have anotated my review. Good emendations.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Don't mind at all. I am honored.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing the Fusion sonnet with us, and the tale of the 'snake' in the woods. I came across a piece of seaweed at the beach that looked like a large snake. I was afraid to sit on the driftwood - but a closer look revealed the truth.

Well done,
~patty~

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Thank you patty for your review.