The Eidolon
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Chapter 9 - Mirror"Family heinously murdered. The question is by who?
11 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, I tried to dip into this story, but it's always difficult to read when the story is well advanced. But I did get the gist of it. You are writing about the good and the bad and Ryan represents what good. I is well written. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
  |
Hi Brett, I tried to dip into this story, but it's always difficult to read when the story is well advanced. But I did get the gist of it. You are writing about the good and the bad and Ryan represents what good. I is well written. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 04-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.
Comment from Sankey
Let me guess Ryan is about to be eliminated? His enthusiasm for the Army [procured??] (occupied??) him. I think to procure means to obtain I guess from a point of "getting" him or his attention, perhaps procured could be a possibility?? Good work very dramatic methinks.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
|
Let me guess Ryan is about to be eliminated? His enthusiasm for the Army [procured??] (occupied??) him. I think to procure means to obtain I guess from a point of "getting" him or his attention, perhaps procured could be a possibility?? Good work very dramatic methinks.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.
Comment from pbomar1115
Ryan, the sane one of the twin, has heroic ambitions. He is like many young men today who see men in a positive light compared to what influence the young today. For instance, video games are the only pass time I know.
Phillip
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
|
Ryan, the sane one of the twin, has heroic ambitions. He is like many young men today who see men in a positive light compared to what influence the young today. For instance, video games are the only pass time I know.
Phillip
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Rasmine
Wow!!! I would have given a six if I had any left. This is as good a story as any Stephen King novel. :D Brett, I hope you are thinking of publishing this.
I found one typo, but it's more of an opinion:
"Your money or your life? (I think this could be an exclamation point, instead, but it's your story.)"
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
|
Wow!!! I would have given a six if I had any left. This is as good a story as any Stephen King novel. :D Brett, I hope you are thinking of publishing this.
I found one typo, but it's more of an opinion:
"Your money or your life? (I think this could be an exclamation point, instead, but it's your story.)"
Comment Written 02-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Brett: First I need to thank you for all of these: BUILD A BETTTER BOY TRUISMS. They remind me to stay in touch with my young man, Jaime and my other son, Malique. I really need to not just talk to them but really listen. I must spend more time with my children. Sometimes I don't feel like I know everything about them. So thank you so much for these. Even the best parents could use tips like these from time to time.
BUILD A BETTTER BOY TRUISM #14: Ask him what he did today and honestly listen to what he says. Real communication goes a long way in establishing much closer bonds between the two of you.
I see that you are still introducing us properly to the two twins. They are so different. My sisters that are a year under me, they are identical twins. They are very different also so this part of the book is very realistic.
I am so curious as to who is in that closet. I hope that it is his twin brother or his father playing games with him. I hope that it is not Drew Larsen. I am in love with Darsen's twin boys so you better not let this Drew creep hurt this little boy. If it is Drew, I hope Ryan kicks his butt into never, never land.
Good Job!
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
|
Good morning, Brett: First I need to thank you for all of these: BUILD A BETTTER BOY TRUISMS. They remind me to stay in touch with my young man, Jaime and my other son, Malique. I really need to not just talk to them but really listen. I must spend more time with my children. Sometimes I don't feel like I know everything about them. So thank you so much for these. Even the best parents could use tips like these from time to time.
BUILD A BETTTER BOY TRUISM #14: Ask him what he did today and honestly listen to what he says. Real communication goes a long way in establishing much closer bonds between the two of you.
I see that you are still introducing us properly to the two twins. They are so different. My sisters that are a year under me, they are identical twins. They are very different also so this part of the book is very realistic.
I am so curious as to who is in that closet. I hope that it is his twin brother or his father playing games with him. I hope that it is not Drew Larsen. I am in love with Darsen's twin boys so you better not let this Drew creep hurt this little boy. If it is Drew, I hope Ryan kicks his butt into never, never land.
Good Job!
Comment Written 02-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate your insightful review.
Here is a little secret I have not revealed to anyone else.
My Build A Better Boy Truisms is actually a second book I am writing at the same time I al writing the Eidolon.
So, readers are getting to enjoy two new books at the same time.
-
Oh that is very smart. Let me know when you have published this book so that I could buy it for my parental reminders for my own two boys.
Comment from LaRosa
Well, I haven't a need to read past chapters to realize that there is a whole situational story happening in this one alone. (will go back and catch up what I've missed however)
A perfectly professional book chapter style.
The history of Ryan's place in family, country, and life is realistically described and in a logical introduction and format. His personal classifications of people allows insight to what will follow...a black and white scenario of thinking and rationalizing.
It does limit my ability to express exactly what you have said that impresses, imprints on my mind, special phrasing and unusual descriptions, by not using cut and paste even a little bit. You have special statements. Now and then I enjoy, as a writer of sorts, to know that the expressions I have used are original and remember'able.
'His enthusiasm for the Army procured him.'
So, there! :)))
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
|
Well, I haven't a need to read past chapters to realize that there is a whole situational story happening in this one alone. (will go back and catch up what I've missed however)
A perfectly professional book chapter style.
The history of Ryan's place in family, country, and life is realistically described and in a logical introduction and format. His personal classifications of people allows insight to what will follow...a black and white scenario of thinking and rationalizing.
It does limit my ability to express exactly what you have said that impresses, imprints on my mind, special phrasing and unusual descriptions, by not using cut and paste even a little bit. You have special statements. Now and then I enjoy, as a writer of sorts, to know that the expressions I have used are original and remember'able.
'His enthusiasm for the Army procured him.'
So, there! :)))
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to pen an insightful review.
I do invite you to read the other chapters as you may have time to and to continue following along as this story progresses.
Comment from Ricky1024
This chapter had great imagination.
This is the first time I've read about this, trying to figure out whether or not a thirteen-year-old did the killings?
Interesting bringing the two brothers into the picture.
So, I have to see where this is going?
Interesting so far.
Great imagery and Theme.
Thanks for this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
|
This chapter had great imagination.
This is the first time I've read about this, trying to figure out whether or not a thirteen-year-old did the killings?
Interesting bringing the two brothers into the picture.
So, I have to see where this is going?
Interesting so far.
Great imagery and Theme.
Thanks for this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate your insightful comments and review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Even twins seem to have opposite personalities. The one artistic and a dreamer, the other focused and set in a military kind of setting a born soldier.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
|
A very well-written chapter. Even twins seem to have opposite personalities. The one artistic and a dreamer, the other focused and set in a military kind of setting a born soldier.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.
Appreciate your comments and review.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Am I to understand Ricky draws and Ryan becomes. Maybe I am reading too much into this and making it more science fiction than it should be. But for now, I am reviewing on the writing and I see no problems and love the interactions.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
|
Am I to understand Ricky draws and Ryan becomes. Maybe I am reading too much into this and making it more science fiction than it should be. But for now, I am reviewing on the writing and I see no problems and love the interactions.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2017
-
That is a unique twist I had not considered, and you know how much I like writing twists into my stories...so, perhaps I'll explore that route?
Glad you enjoyed this chapter and, once again, appreciate your comments, support, and the review.
Comment from apky
An excellent write, taking us into the private and intimate world of Ryan.
I suppose his brother Ricky is not as "patriotic" but you have created an uncanny reflection of the society and how it forms its young through what goes on around them. I think this was writing with meaning, not just an entertaining story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
|
An excellent write, taking us into the private and intimate world of Ryan.
I suppose his brother Ricky is not as "patriotic" but you have created an uncanny reflection of the society and how it forms its young through what goes on around them. I think this was writing with meaning, not just an entertaining story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
-
Thanks.