Mushroom Circles
ABAB quatrains68 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
wow, this is an astounding piece of poetry dear tony! i love every word as they are written with polished finesse. bravo, my friend! so very clever.
thank you for sharing!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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wow, this is an astounding piece of poetry dear tony! i love every word as they are written with polished finesse. bravo, my friend! so very clever.
thank you for sharing!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks for this lovely review, Rebekka, and for the six strs. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from rama devi
This is absolutely eloquent and cpatures the scene vividly. It captures the tone and tenor of your theme as well. Superb flow and rhyming. I do not applaud the choice to cap all lines and use so many commas (especially when it otherswise feels like the end of a sentence) but it does not deter the flow read aloud, so I am still giving six stars--not just for the above-mentioned pluses but also for all those fantastic phonetics in phrasing (not listing all devices--you know I noticed the nuances and applaud).
Favorite lines:
Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade,
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway,
Optional suggestions for alternative punctuation:
Wild mushrooms damp with early morning dew
Still hold the scent of dark seductive night;
Pubescent ripeness shyly held from view,
Pink round the gills, and satin skin stretched tight.
Beware all those who step within this ring,
Their dormancy of dreams undone by dance.
For faerie folk weave magic here, to sing
Their souls adrift, to captivate - entrance.
Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade;
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway.
But, in the faerie circle, all things fade.
All those who enter in are trapped by fey.
In webs of woven moonlight evermore,
All memories of bacchanal are gone,
The revelries they dreamt at witching hour,
In mocking echoes fail. The curtain's drawn.
If you want to keep enjambment between stanzas, then use no comma or period:
All those who enter in are trapped by fey
In webs of woven moonlight evermore,
The rhymes are outstanding.
Bravo.
Fine presentation too.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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This is absolutely eloquent and cpatures the scene vividly. It captures the tone and tenor of your theme as well. Superb flow and rhyming. I do not applaud the choice to cap all lines and use so many commas (especially when it otherswise feels like the end of a sentence) but it does not deter the flow read aloud, so I am still giving six stars--not just for the above-mentioned pluses but also for all those fantastic phonetics in phrasing (not listing all devices--you know I noticed the nuances and applaud).
Favorite lines:
Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade,
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway,
Optional suggestions for alternative punctuation:
Wild mushrooms damp with early morning dew
Still hold the scent of dark seductive night;
Pubescent ripeness shyly held from view,
Pink round the gills, and satin skin stretched tight.
Beware all those who step within this ring,
Their dormancy of dreams undone by dance.
For faerie folk weave magic here, to sing
Their souls adrift, to captivate - entrance.
Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade;
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway.
But, in the faerie circle, all things fade.
All those who enter in are trapped by fey.
In webs of woven moonlight evermore,
All memories of bacchanal are gone,
The revelries they dreamt at witching hour,
In mocking echoes fail. The curtain's drawn.
If you want to keep enjambment between stanzas, then use no comma or period:
All those who enter in are trapped by fey
In webs of woven moonlight evermore,
The rhymes are outstanding.
Bravo.
Fine presentation too.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks for this lovely review, RD, and for the six stars. As always, I appreciate your suggestions. I have revised this one without capital letters at the beginning of every line and it improves the readability. Tony
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:-))) So glad to hear that, Tony. Yay! :-))
Comment from Joan E.
Wow--the photograph reinforces your description so well! I enjoyed your descriptive quatrains and alternating rhymes. Your use of alliteration intensifies the magic of the fairies. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Wow--the photograph reinforces your description so well! I enjoyed your descriptive quatrains and alternating rhymes. Your use of alliteration intensifies the magic of the fairies. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Joan. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from catch22
Hi T, how lovely this poem is! I love this write and your love of language and sound is on full display here in this effortless and smooth write. Gorgeous and imaginative imagery created a magical scene.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Hi T, how lovely this poem is! I love this write and your love of language and sound is on full display here in this effortless and smooth write. Gorgeous and imaginative imagery created a magical scene.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Catch22. I appreciate your review and very affirming comments and stars. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from June Sargent
I will never look at wild mushrooms quite the same way again! You have opened a window into a secret world right under our noses - one with webs of woven moonlight that can trap us if we are not careful. What a beautiful and imaginary piece of poetry. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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I will never look at wild mushrooms quite the same way again! You have opened a window into a secret world right under our noses - one with webs of woven moonlight that can trap us if we are not careful. What a beautiful and imaginary piece of poetry. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, June. I appreciate your review and comments. There's magic in them there mushrooms! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade,
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway,
But in the faerie circle all things fade.
All those who enter in are trapped by fey,' my favorite this was just beautiful, very well done kind regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Let lambent leaves of oak shake off the shade,
Let wind and withy spindles spin and sway,
But in the faerie circle all things fade.
All those who enter in are trapped by fey,' my favorite this was just beautiful, very well done kind regards Meia xx
Comment Written 22-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Meia. I appreciate your affirming review and selection of the part of my poem that worked best for you. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Winslow
Dear tfawcus,
Oh those fairy rings seem so innocent but you warn that those who venture within are forever bond? Do fairies exist and do they flit and swing upon the rings that fungi build?
Winslow
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Dear tfawcus,
Oh those fairy rings seem so innocent but you warn that those who venture within are forever bond? Do fairies exist and do they flit and swing upon the rings that fungi build?
Winslow
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Winslow. I appreciate your review and comments. I have it on good authority that there is magic in them there mushrooms - enough to make anyone flit and swing. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from dominador G Robles
I like the rhyme and rhythm. The description of the mushroom at early morning. I also like the use of figures of speech in some parts of the paragraph. The expressions are great. The picture, as well, gives added meaning to the theme of the poem. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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I like the rhyme and rhythm. The description of the mushroom at early morning. I also like the use of figures of speech in some parts of the paragraph. The expressions are great. The picture, as well, gives added meaning to the theme of the poem. Congratulations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Dom. I appreciate your review and comments about the form and poetic devices. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Curly Girly
Mmm...
This is a tale of foreboding.
Witching hours, fey, and darkness,
Fate looms for all those who enter the circle.
Okay, good story, Tony. Please don't scare your grandkids.
Now please tell me, how many magic mushrooms did you smoke before you wrote this?
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Mmm...
This is a tale of foreboding.
Witching hours, fey, and darkness,
Fate looms for all those who enter the circle.
Okay, good story, Tony. Please don't scare your grandkids.
Now please tell me, how many magic mushrooms did you smoke before you wrote this?
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Many thanks, Nicole. I loved your review! I shall have to have a look at the magic circle and see how many are missing. Nibbling on the edge of them doesn't seem to make me any taller, just my stories! I shall keep the scariest ones for when my granddaughter is old enough to appreciate them! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Ah, those wild mushrooms
some alluring, a gourmet delight
some ugly as poison,
fantasies of fairy tales
or hallucinations of witches spells
You make them appear much more attractive
than any found around here
A poem of seductive rhyme and imagery
To me they are still toadstools
the original picture of the white ones
looked rather dangerous
RS
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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Ah, those wild mushrooms
some alluring, a gourmet delight
some ugly as poison,
fantasies of fairy tales
or hallucinations of witches spells
You make them appear much more attractive
than any found around here
A poem of seductive rhyme and imagery
To me they are still toadstools
the original picture of the white ones
looked rather dangerous
RS
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
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I see that I have enchanted six stars out of you with my magic mushrooms! Thank you very much! All the best, Tony