By God's grace..
story starting with the sentence...12 total reviews
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed your story, it's very interesting and a great entry in this competition. I thing the ending is good. Thanks for sharing, best of luck with the competition and have a great day
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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I enjoyed your story, it's very interesting and a great entry in this competition. I thing the ending is good. Thanks for sharing, best of luck with the competition and have a great day
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Curly Girly
Robbery is never acceptable. God does not help robbers get away with wrong.
Some punctuation suggestions:
"Do you know where she is or when she will be back?.
"Do you know where she is or when she will be back?
"I don't know", I shrugged.
"I don't know." I shrugged.
then at times we just say hello-how are you".
then at times we just say hello-how are you?"
"I know her very well.She was
"I know her very well. She was
CG
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Robbery is never acceptable. God does not help robbers get away with wrong.
Some punctuation suggestions:
"Do you know where she is or when she will be back?.
"Do you know where she is or when she will be back?
"I don't know", I shrugged.
"I don't know." I shrugged.
then at times we just say hello-how are you".
then at times we just say hello-how are you?"
"I know her very well.She was
"I know her very well. She was
CG
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much for taking the trouble to write a detailed review. i will do the correction.
Comment from apky
"I am sorry". She apologized again. "Do you know where she is or when she will be back?. I have been coming here looking for her last two weeks, but the door was always locked. Has she gone to USA?[add close quotes, then separate this from the next line.]
"I don't know", I shrugged.
Note, please that the correct way is always "the US" or "the USA", much like we also say "the Ukraine" not just Ukraine.
Keep those little glitches and spags away, then you're on a good chance.
Godd luck with the contest,
Apky
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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"I am sorry". She apologized again. "Do you know where she is or when she will be back?. I have been coming here looking for her last two weeks, but the door was always locked. Has she gone to USA?[add close quotes, then separate this from the next line.]
"I don't know", I shrugged.
Note, please that the correct way is always "the US" or "the USA", much like we also say "the Ukraine" not just Ukraine.
Keep those little glitches and spags away, then you're on a good chance.
Godd luck with the contest,
Apky
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much. yes it should be the US .since there is this exodus of software engineers from India to the US, most common topic in the families is about life in America.Those who are not very educated will say America and the educated ones will say US orUSA blithely skipping 'the'.may be because when talking in the vernacular 'the ' does not make sense .So I am afraid i have used that ((smile) But it is unforgivable when you write English and that for a contest.
Thanks again for taking time for writing long review.I will do the corrections .
Comment from Asem.inspirations
This is an interesting story, very creative and it captured my attention. It is a shame that sometimes in life incidents like this actually happen in real life. Here in New York, we are really funny about opening our doors to stranger. If they ask for a glass of water or for something from our apartment the answer is no yet that person would not be allowed to stand at the door for a long conversation, like this one. The door would have been re-closed right after I answered her very first question. We can't take any chance in New York. It's a dangerous world we live in.
But I enjoyed this read, it is well put together.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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This is an interesting story, very creative and it captured my attention. It is a shame that sometimes in life incidents like this actually happen in real life. Here in New York, we are really funny about opening our doors to stranger. If they ask for a glass of water or for something from our apartment the answer is no yet that person would not be allowed to stand at the door for a long conversation, like this one. The door would have been re-closed right after I answered her very first question. We can't take any chance in New York. It's a dangerous world we live in.
But I enjoyed this read, it is well put together.
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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It is different in India. If a strange man comes doors will be only opened with the chain. Water also will be denied by most.Our city has very hot weather through out the year except for DEC to FEB So denying water is almost a sin.But since the crime rates have increased we are also very careful now.. But somehow ,that a woman can do such things is yet to sink into our psyche.
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I was wondering this kind of a story will be appreciated.
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Yes, believe me I understand. In New York we can't help feeling paranoid of everyone, it's crazy up here but Yes I did enjoy your story. I hope you do well in the contest.
Comment from MNOEL
Hello,
Thank you for posting this very interesting story. I found myself having sympathy for the antagonist as she was also "robbed" in a way. Glad to see that the robbery victims found forgiveness in themselves.
I did find some SNAG's:
We have an apartment man(a)ger
We were sure she would retrieve a our jewelry from the pawn shop. (You don't need the (a) here)
You have Laila/Leila-2 different spelling for the same person.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Hello,
Thank you for posting this very interesting story. I found myself having sympathy for the antagonist as she was also "robbed" in a way. Glad to see that the robbery victims found forgiveness in themselves.
I did find some SNAG's:
We have an apartment man(a)ger
We were sure she would retrieve a our jewelry from the pawn shop. (You don't need the (a) here)
You have Laila/Leila-2 different spelling for the same person.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you for reviewing and giving theses suggestions. The mistakes are unforgivable.I will correct them immediately.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Five stars because this is an interesting and well told story. It does need to be gone over for small errors in punctuation, etc. but the story comes through and it is very kind of all of the ladies to not press charges against the woman.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Five stars because this is an interesting and well told story. It does need to be gone over for small errors in punctuation, etc. but the story comes through and it is very kind of all of the ladies to not press charges against the woman.
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you very much. I am glad you liked the story. I type with two fingers and that too after writing it on paper. I invariably end up with space and punctuation issues.I will correct them
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You're welcome. My grandfather used to type very fast with two fingers :-) I was a terrible typist, until computers came along with spellcheck and backspace and delete. :-D All the best.
Comment from JDRBAR
The story plot was going great until the middle of the story and I began getting confused. As a contest entry, I review harder than usual as I feel it should be as perfect as possible with no nits or grammatical errors, of which there are several. By correcting these and a careful rewrite, it could well be a winning entry.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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The story plot was going great until the middle of the story and I began getting confused. As a contest entry, I review harder than usual as I feel it should be as perfect as possible with no nits or grammatical errors, of which there are several. By correcting these and a careful rewrite, it could well be a winning entry.
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reviewing my story. you are justified in reviewing harder and I am afraid I am guilty of some unforgivable mistakes.
I manage to eek out time to come to this site because it is like .an escape for me .I enter contest mainly because I get more reviews ,otherwise I end up with just 4 !! I post mostly only poems because they are easy to tye with two fingers ! I saw the notification only when there was 5 hrs left. I took this as a challenge and wrote and posted this just in two hrs.
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I'll never understand how anyone can type with just two fingers, LOL I rarely get more than four reviews 'cause I simply haven't time to read enough reviews to get my work into the higher positions.
Comment from frogbook
Near the end-asked not to press (charges), not charge. A very small correction for a very original and spellbinding story. I'm not sure I would be as benevolent about the charges -haha. Great story for the prompt. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Near the end-asked not to press (charges), not charge. A very small correction for a very original and spellbinding story. I'm not sure I would be as benevolent about the charges -haha. Great story for the prompt. Best of luck.
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you very much..Thank you for pointing out the mistakes I will do the correction.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Uh oh. They would handle her. That sounds ominous.
You have done a good job with setting up the story, but your sentence structure and punctuation needs a bit of work. You have spaces where you don't need them and missing spaces here and there. (Perhaps this is your typing skill?)
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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Uh oh. They would handle her. That sounds ominous.
You have done a good job with setting up the story, but your sentence structure and punctuation needs a bit of work. You have spaces where you don't need them and missing spaces here and there. (Perhaps this is your typing skill?)
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2017
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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yes it is. i type with two fingers and that too after writing on a paper first.i tried editing after i posted but the space issues keep coming.thank you for reading it.I used to shy away from posting prose because of this.But now i am doing it just to learn and get experience in typing.
Comment from Marykelly
The robbery was a bit unexpected but since there had been several similar robberies in the neighborhood it became believable, especially given the desperate need of the woman who stole the jewelry. In spite of her son's illness it's hard to sympathize with her. The characters and their motivations appear authentic and believable.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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The robbery was a bit unexpected but since there had been several similar robberies in the neighborhood it became believable, especially given the desperate need of the woman who stole the jewelry. In spite of her son's illness it's hard to sympathize with her. The characters and their motivations appear authentic and believable.
Comment Written 29-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Than you very much fortaking time out to read and review.