Comment from JDRBAR

Excellent

The wording is priceless, but it doesn't seem to follow the format set for this particular contest. Try following the format but don't lose the idea. The image is also wonderful.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017

Hello JDRBAR -

It was a frustrating morning, and your review is ironic.

It's rewarding to hear you find my poem's wording "priceless," and dispiriting that you think it doesn't follow the contest format. I revised its structure after being notified by The Committee that the only acceptable arrangement of syllables in the contest is a short line, long line, short line, and my entry was long, short, long. So, without changing a word, i resubmitted it in its present form to satisfy contest requirements.

Considering that you liked the idea, the wording, found the image "wonderful," in retrospect,- don't you think your three-star rating was rather harsh? Especially, as three stars generally are used to indicate poor work.

In its present state, "The Truth Hurts" retains the features that that you complimented, so do feel free to revise your review to reflect that, which is easily done by revisiting the poem and revising your comments.

Thank you.

reply by JDRBAR on 21-Apr-2017

I'm sorry if you found my critique harsh. I had no choice as it didn't follow the criteria. Did anyone else review your work? The first line was to consist of five, or fewer, syllables. The second line was to consist of seven or less syllables. The third line was again, five or less syllables. This created the short/long/short format asked for.
My purpose in reviewing is not just to encourage the writer, but to help the writer improve on his work in any way I'm capable of doing. Good luck in the future.

reply by the author on 22-Apr-2017

Hello again, JDBAR.

Somehow, you continue to believe that the poem doesn't comprise the required 5-7-5 syllable form, when it does precisely that. You easily can see for yourself that you are mistaken

Yes, there were 12 reviews, all very positive, except for yours.
Here are a couple of them:

This one, ironically, contradicts your error, and awarded 6-stars -
"Excellent word use and syllable count (I counted three times). I am a fellow poet and know this couldn't have been easy for you to do but you pulled it off flawlessly. Great job."
______

Great job with this 3-5-3 air prompt. Correct syllable count. You also have alliteration and rhyming. Perfect picture choice for your words. Dogs seem to absolutely love it! Nice work and enjoyable read. Best wishes in the contest! :) -

JDBAR, if you access my profile you can read all of the reviews.

You say you're trying to help other writers, and if you truly do, you can reread the poem and revise your comments that have reduced its overall rating from "Exceptional" to " "Excellent." - Ogden

reply by JDRBAR on 22-Apr-2017

Please show me how this poem follows the 5-7-5 format as required.
<then get upset, and regret the contest deadline's (12 syllables)
unmet. >> (2 syllables)
Yes, there is a total of 17 syllables, and yes it follows a short/long/short format. However, it is my understanding that the must line must be five syllables or less. (Your first line does that). The second line must be SEVEN syllables or LESS. Your second line is 12 syllables.
If Fanstory tells me this is acceptable, I will revise my review most willingly.

reply by the author on 22-Apr-2017

Thank you JDRBAR, for your willingness to revise your review. FanStory (CEC) already has approved the syllable line counts, thus making the poem eligible.

I now see your misunderstanding, believing that the syllable requirement was 5-7-5. That is not so. Here is what the prompt specifies regarding the syllables:

"Use 17 syllables or less, as long as it follows a short/long/short format (defined by counting syllables)" You easily can confirm that by accessing the poem and clicking the blue link below it, and reading the entire prompt.

I trust that you will be satisfied that "The Truth Hurts" is in compliance with the requirements, and realize that's why you were able to read it in the first place.

reply by JDRBAR on 22-Apr-2017

This is the prompt I followed.
Writing Prompt
Write a 5-7-5 that has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again. It is a poem about nature.
However, as a reviewer, I am not required to defend my critiques. A perfectly written piece may be thought as excellent by 49 reviewers, but thought simply as good by the 50th. I am not required to go by a consensus. I said I would revise it and I will, but it goes against my better judgement.

reply by the author on 22-Apr-2017

First, thank you for honoring your agreement.
Your message uncovers the reason you thought the prompt specified a 5-7-5 syllable requirement. You said "It is a poem about nature." Of course, that doesn't apply to my poem's contest, so I checked out the other contests running at the same time. The prompt you read was for the "Sunset Haiku" contest. sSe for yourself.

Peace.

reply by JDRBAR on 22-Apr-2017

I did and you're right. Seems we tied in that contest so I don't think my original review hurt you in any way. Continued good luck.