Miscellaneous Poems Vol 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Turn off your lights"More poems
18 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
Oh no, what happened? I went to save and you were gone away!
... no matter what, know that it has been a pleasure to be a fan of yours.
turn off your lights.
The loss of darkness makes me cry-
gives me the shites. (what gave you rights?)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Oh no, what happened? I went to save and you were gone away!
... no matter what, know that it has been a pleasure to be a fan of yours.
turn off your lights.
The loss of darkness makes me cry-
gives me the shites. (what gave you rights?)
Comment Written 30-May-2016
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Rumour has it I'm back, but I don't believe it :)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Morning,
Your practice octogram is spot-on in all regards. The meter flows beautifully, enhanced with effective enjambment. The rhymes and rhyme pattern are solid and compliant as are the syllable counts.
I used to live near Kerr Damn in Southern Virginia. There was one place at lake's edge where there was no light pollution. I'd lay on the picnic table and just gaze at the star field above.
A good read this morning.
Ray
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Good Morning,
Your practice octogram is spot-on in all regards. The meter flows beautifully, enhanced with effective enjambment. The rhymes and rhyme pattern are solid and compliant as are the syllable counts.
I used to live near Kerr Damn in Southern Virginia. There was one place at lake's edge where there was no light pollution. I'd lay on the picnic table and just gaze at the star field above.
A good read this morning.
Ray
Comment Written 29-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Ray. I'm glad you got to enjoy the sky from your previous place. It's such a relaxing and absorbing thing to do, isn't it?
Comment from ciliverde
A very nice octogram here, Craig, penned to perfection with sentiments I feel precisely. Isn't it wonderful when we finally get to a place of real darkness and see the night sky? It's fantastic!
Turn off your lights people! See the stars, save some energy. What an idea!
Oh, I thought you lived in the Middle of Nowhere. Is it all lit up there too?
Carol
reply by the author on 28-May-2016
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A very nice octogram here, Craig, penned to perfection with sentiments I feel precisely. Isn't it wonderful when we finally get to a place of real darkness and see the night sky? It's fantastic!
Turn off your lights people! See the stars, save some energy. What an idea!
Oh, I thought you lived in the Middle of Nowhere. Is it all lit up there too?
Carol
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 28-May-2016
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Thanks so much for the lovely comments, Carol. I do live in the sticks, so it's not really autobiographical - well, maybe once, but my night view is quite lovely now :)
Comment from strandregs
I love it.
I love the subject.
my daughter is always complaining we can't see the stars.
Great piece of octogram.:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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I love it.
I love the subject.
my daughter is always complaining we can't see the stars.
Great piece of octogram.:-)) Z.
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thanks so much for the wonderful rating and review! We lose so much when we can't see what's "out there" - your daughter is right :)
Comment from foxangie123
I already read this great piece and I liked very much. The lights are pretty I think. A lot of energy being used but it beats total darkness.
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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I already read this great piece and I liked very much. The lights are pretty I think. A lot of energy being used but it beats total darkness.
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thanks for reviewing. Yes, the lights are pretty, but in my view the stars are prettier :)
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I am glad. Hugs.
Comment from Ima L. Ami
Excellent work! When we moved from New Orleans to East Texas two years ago, the one thing that amazed me more than anything else was the beauty of the night skies. We had become desensitized to the stars after living in the city for so long. This poem hits so close to my heart that I really want to give you 6 stars!
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Excellent work! When we moved from New Orleans to East Texas two years ago, the one thing that amazed me more than anything else was the beauty of the night skies. We had become desensitized to the stars after living in the city for so long. This poem hits so close to my heart that I really want to give you 6 stars!
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thanks for the lovely review! I too live away from the city now, so I have plenty of stars ;-) I'm sure people who have never or seldom been far away from all the light pollution have no idea what they are missing.
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You're always welcome!
Comment from Dean Kuch
True, Craig, very true.
This is an excellent example of the Sally Yocom created form known as an Octogram Poem. Good structure, impeccably well rhymed, featuring a topic I happen to be extremely fond of, the total absence of light.
Bravo...
~Dean
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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True, Craig, very true.
This is an excellent example of the Sally Yocom created form known as an Octogram Poem. Good structure, impeccably well rhymed, featuring a topic I happen to be extremely fond of, the total absence of light.
Bravo...
~Dean
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thanks for the generous review Dean. Was that meant to sound sinister? You never can tell over this wonderful thing we call the internet. Much appreciated :) Craig.
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No, not sinister, Craig. Just stating a fact.
~Dean
Comment from Scarbrems
eventually, by the time i have read a few of these, i'll understand the explanation of the form. at the moment, it's like one of those maths problems which makes it into my brain as 'four aliens drive seven trains 400 miles. what type of pizza do they order.
but still, it reads well, with good rhyme and rythm, and of course the subject matter is great. yes, 'turn off the lights'. please.
sorry for lack of some punctuation and capitals. shift key still on strike.
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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eventually, by the time i have read a few of these, i'll understand the explanation of the form. at the moment, it's like one of those maths problems which makes it into my brain as 'four aliens drive seven trains 400 miles. what type of pizza do they order.
but still, it reads well, with good rhyme and rythm, and of course the subject matter is great. yes, 'turn off the lights'. please.
sorry for lack of some punctuation and capitals. shift key still on strike.
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thanks, Emma. Did you spill coffee on your keyboard? Yes, must have been coffee - can't be alcohol, you're not typing double. Hope you get your keyboard troubles sorted out soon.
Comment from I am Cat
Ohhhhh VERY well done! I used to also think the same thing when I lived in San Antonio... and, though not like most cities, it WAS too bright, I couldn't see the stars, or lightning bugs!
Then I moved here... and damn but it's BLACK BLACK BLACKETY BLACK BLACK outside... I've never lived anywhere so freaking dark in my life. I mean, there are NO streetlights... It's freaking black here.
I can't see shite alright. ;)
lol
This is an amazingly well written octogram...damn, I think you've nailed it, Craig! ;)
Cat
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Ohhhhh VERY well done! I used to also think the same thing when I lived in San Antonio... and, though not like most cities, it WAS too bright, I couldn't see the stars, or lightning bugs!
Then I moved here... and damn but it's BLACK BLACK BLACKETY BLACK BLACK outside... I've never lived anywhere so freaking dark in my life. I mean, there are NO streetlights... It's freaking black here.
I can't see shite alright. ;)
lol
This is an amazingly well written octogram...damn, I think you've nailed it, Craig! ;)
Cat
Comment Written 26-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Dark is GOOOOOOOOOOOOD ;-)
Thanks for the cool review, Cat! See you on Saturday for the real thing.
Craig
Comment from AnnaLinda
Craig,
So you know this form is alien to me...I give you so much credit for
giving it a practice whirl....About night sky jewels too. Wow, what
a cinematic poem and presentation you have here.
Yes, it's a bit difficult to spot those heavenly fellows when our cities
are strung with bright lights. You have out done yourself here. Do I
care? Yes, on the stars...Octogram...no. To be honest. Just as you
struggle with free verse...(or so you say) I can not be bothered to wrap
my brain around this form.
You did a splendid job and I applaud you. I look forward to your
"real" one on Saturday.
Linda
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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Craig,
So you know this form is alien to me...I give you so much credit for
giving it a practice whirl....About night sky jewels too. Wow, what
a cinematic poem and presentation you have here.
Yes, it's a bit difficult to spot those heavenly fellows when our cities
are strung with bright lights. You have out done yourself here. Do I
care? Yes, on the stars...Octogram...no. To be honest. Just as you
struggle with free verse...(or so you say) I can not be bothered to wrap
my brain around this form.
You did a splendid job and I applaud you. I look forward to your
"real" one on Saturday.
Linda
Comment Written 26-May-2016
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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I totally get where you're coming from when you say you can't be bothered wrapping your head around it, Linda. However, I have to say having done so (once) I don't mind it. I found it technically hard, but I think it would become easier with practice. There are many forms I've no real interest in trying, but if they become part of the potlatch challenge, I suppose I might give them a go.
I guess that means you won't be joining us on Saturday? Oh well, hopefully the next form will be something more up your alley :)
Thanks for the lovely review,
Craig
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Craig,
You are so gracious on top of being talented. You are correct and I am one of those really rebellious types that does not like to conform to anything...I pay the price. As you have read. Error by trial or something like that.
Love your work and so happy to be your BIG fan.
Linda
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To be honest, if I'm writing something for fun, I generally just sit down and go with whatever rhyme / meter happens to show its ugly head. I'm not much chop at blank / free, as you know. The challenges have inspired me to venture forth a tiny bit, so from time to time I'll do a sonnet or something.
Anyway, I enjoy your poems very much, keep them coming!
Cheers,
Craig
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You too! Variety is splendid.