Walk With Me.
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Forever."From victim to survivor of abuse.
5 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
This is a well written and riveting story of your early life and you begin to see you father's side. A new perspective, indeed. This must be difficult to write, but cathartic once you have. Very well done.
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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This is a well written and riveting story of your early life and you begin to see you father's side. A new perspective, indeed. This must be difficult to write, but cathartic once you have. Very well done.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I appreciate your interest and support.
:-) shirley
Comment from l.raven
HI Shirley, the men in your early life didn't leave much trust in them...sad as it is...when lovers depart...they leave a lot of hate behind...and the kids have to live with it...I am so sorry for all you had to go through sweet girl...your story is very well told...and your picture is priceless...love ya you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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HI Shirley, the men in your early life didn't leave much trust in them...sad as it is...when lovers depart...they leave a lot of hate behind...and the kids have to live with it...I am so sorry for all you had to go through sweet girl...your story is very well told...and your picture is priceless...love ya you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Thanks Linda.
Since starting to write snippets of my past on this site in 2013 I have acknowleged,
accepted and released so much from my childhood.
As I find my way along this path I see the light of peace, hope and serenity shining
as a beautiful rainbow of Gods love to guide my way.
:-) Shirley
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you are so welcome Shirley...and I am so glad the site has help you along your journey...xxoo Love Linda
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Shirley,
I'm going to go back and read the first one. This is fascinating... I can relate to some of it. But not all, of course. My mother was a wonderful woman who really never spoke too badly of my father, or at least she tried to be honest, the best she could. But she had been quiet for far too long. And we had paid of the price.
I was really drawn in to the honesty of this piece. Well written with some punctuation problems, but i've tried to help where I can. It's mostly a comma thing. The parts I think you need to put in have a ( ) and take out [ ]
below are my thoughts:
She told me how frightening[,] and confusing that was for her.
(I bet it was! -no comma is needed before the word and)
Meanwhile(,) my mother loaded up our meagre possessions and fled the scene long before he was due to return.
At this point he'd no idea he'd face incarceration, a court case(,) [and] custody hearing[,] and lose his family.
(wow!)
Meanwhile(,) my mother moved on with her life.
As the financial situation was quite dire(,) my two eldest siblings(,) at sixteen and fourteen years (old,) found jobs.
The next three siblings(;) aged twelve, eight and six years (old,) were placed in an orphanage[,] over one hundred kilometres away.
This left me(,) at four years, and my little brother at thirteen months, with our mother. (ok, I see this must be the way you speak in your country? I assumed you were American, we would use the word, 'old' after three years...(to state age, but if you don't... then disregard the other places I've corrected. lol)
For several years my father sen(t) small gifts for our birthdays, or at Christmas.
Again(,) any hope (of) our father being in our lives was blocked.
Sadly(,) my younger brother and I never knew our father.
I believed(,) that any[,] and every dark shadow, was my father lurking nearby to kidnap or hurt me.
After all(,) who wants to admit their father is an unsavoury and dangerous man?
The dangers I faced from my father were constantly reinforced(,) so that(,) over time I grew to hate him.
I shunned him, denied he was my father, and prayed that(,) by some miracle(,) I was not his child.
(lol, I used to do that too!) ;)
Very well told, Shirley... My heart goes out to you
Cat
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Hello Shirley,
I'm going to go back and read the first one. This is fascinating... I can relate to some of it. But not all, of course. My mother was a wonderful woman who really never spoke too badly of my father, or at least she tried to be honest, the best she could. But she had been quiet for far too long. And we had paid of the price.
I was really drawn in to the honesty of this piece. Well written with some punctuation problems, but i've tried to help where I can. It's mostly a comma thing. The parts I think you need to put in have a ( ) and take out [ ]
below are my thoughts:
She told me how frightening[,] and confusing that was for her.
(I bet it was! -no comma is needed before the word and)
Meanwhile(,) my mother loaded up our meagre possessions and fled the scene long before he was due to return.
At this point he'd no idea he'd face incarceration, a court case(,) [and] custody hearing[,] and lose his family.
(wow!)
Meanwhile(,) my mother moved on with her life.
As the financial situation was quite dire(,) my two eldest siblings(,) at sixteen and fourteen years (old,) found jobs.
The next three siblings(;) aged twelve, eight and six years (old,) were placed in an orphanage[,] over one hundred kilometres away.
This left me(,) at four years, and my little brother at thirteen months, with our mother. (ok, I see this must be the way you speak in your country? I assumed you were American, we would use the word, 'old' after three years...(to state age, but if you don't... then disregard the other places I've corrected. lol)
For several years my father sen(t) small gifts for our birthdays, or at Christmas.
Again(,) any hope (of) our father being in our lives was blocked.
Sadly(,) my younger brother and I never knew our father.
I believed(,) that any[,] and every dark shadow, was my father lurking nearby to kidnap or hurt me.
After all(,) who wants to admit their father is an unsavoury and dangerous man?
The dangers I faced from my father were constantly reinforced(,) so that(,) over time I grew to hate him.
I shunned him, denied he was my father, and prayed that(,) by some miracle(,) I was not his child.
(lol, I used to do that too!) ;)
Very well told, Shirley... My heart goes out to you
Cat
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Wow! Thanks for taking this time Cat.
As you can see I have an issue with commas.
I swear the rules have changed since my school years.
Reviewers, markers, readers don't always seem to share a common mindset on commas.
If it put it in it should be out...and vice versa. Lol.
I will carefully study your suggestions.
This is a very honest, warts and all book ( disorganised at this point.)
It is my story to provide closure and healing for me and understanding for my children
and siblings who never walked the same path I have. The first few chapters are repetitious in
parts but for me it allows clarity on the who, what, when , where, why issues.
It is not meant to be perfect --because my life certainly wasn't and the imperfections have
made me who I am today.
I would like my children to realise just how much they are loved and to excuse me for my weaknesses.
Not too much to ask ...is it?
:-) Shirley
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NO, it's not... but hey, if you figure it out and it actually WORKS and you stop getting blamed ... lol you'll have solved parents problems for evermore... if you can bottle that, you'll be rich! beyond any therapist! lol ;) Good luck honey, I think you have an awesome start. Hugs
Comment from Cass Carlton
This is an interesting piece. It involves the thoughts and actions of more people than the writer. There is a sense of growth in these words. It takes great courage to look back and truly see what there was to be seen. As a child you were only a pawn in the game, a victim of other people's anger and poisonous words, I wish you well in this journey and feel sure you will in time triumph . Well done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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This is an interesting piece. It involves the thoughts and actions of more people than the writer. There is a sense of growth in these words. It takes great courage to look back and truly see what there was to be seen. As a child you were only a pawn in the game, a victim of other people's anger and poisonous words, I wish you well in this journey and feel sure you will in time triumph . Well done cheers Cass
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Thank you.
Your review shows such understanding and compassion.
It is difficult to write of my experiences for they did occur in the family home and some were shared by siblings but many were mine alone.
The primary reason for writing is for healing and closure...so I can be the best person I can be.
Also my husband and children show reluctance to know, and difficulty in understanding, how my past shaped my future for many years beyond childhood.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Shirley
= It is amazing how adults get so unseeing for anything but their own agenda.
= Always it is the kids who get shafted, and as you can attest, knows how drastically that is.
= How sad for you all. Thank you for sharing another installment.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Hi, Shirley
= It is amazing how adults get so unseeing for anything but their own agenda.
= Always it is the kids who get shafted, and as you can attest, knows how drastically that is.
= How sad for you all. Thank you for sharing another installment.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Hi Jax,
Thanks for a supportive review and for walking this stretch with me.
I appreciate it.
:-) Shirley