Life's Observations and Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Do not shed one single tear"This is my prologue for the NaPoWriMo 2016 (30 Poe
17 total reviews
Comment from L.lora
Oh this is perfect, wish I'd written
this. Each word conveys exact emotion
felt and reactions to actions or should
I say lack of. Easy read, smooth flow
pulls your reader through from start to
finish without a hitch. Most enjoyable,
I can think of a few I'd love to send this
too...(smile) no nits or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
Oh this is perfect, wish I'd written
this. Each word conveys exact emotion
felt and reactions to actions or should
I say lack of. Easy read, smooth flow
pulls your reader through from start to
finish without a hitch. Most enjoyable,
I can think of a few I'd love to send this
too...(smile) no nits or spags. Lora
Comment Written 24-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Hi Lora, thanks for your kind review. Yes, there are some I would too! Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Marijke, Nice poem and right to the point. Yes it seems to happen often.
I've seen it too in my family. They saw each other only at funerals. When they got older they said to each other: who's next.... My mother always said: when they can't find me by life, there is no need to come to my funeral. They did not, she was the last living of her family.. Smiles from miles and lots of love. Fietje xxxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
Hi Marijke, Nice poem and right to the point. Yes it seems to happen often.
I've seen it too in my family. They saw each other only at funerals. When they got older they said to each other: who's next.... My mother always said: when they can't find me by life, there is no need to come to my funeral. They did not, she was the last living of her family.. Smiles from miles and lots of love. Fietje xxxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Hi again Fietje, thank you for your comments and kind and generous review, my friend. Yes, it is sad... and it happens too often. . Warmest regards with hugs and smiles, , Marijke :o) xxxxxx
Comment from Chrissy710
I'll raise my glass to you Marijke. Yes its amazing how some people come out of the woodwork. It is sad loved your Triolet good luck in the contest Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
I'll raise my glass to you Marijke. Yes its amazing how some people come out of the woodwork. It is sad loved your Triolet good luck in the contest Cheers Christine
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much , Chris, and yes, it is sad, whatever the background story is. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Realist101
Yes, if people can't be nice while we're alive, they needn't show up at a wake. I will be lucky to have just a couple of people at mine! lol! But this is a great example of this form Marijke. You're a real poetess. x
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
Yes, if people can't be nice while we're alive, they needn't show up at a wake. I will be lucky to have just a couple of people at mine! lol! But this is a great example of this form Marijke. You're a real poetess. x
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Thank you for that compliment, my friend. I wrote this poem with that in mind... but have been given feedback with some different scenarios. For example, someone who has violated or abused his/her family, why would they want to cry. Interesting thought that I am working on another triolet to put that perspective forward. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for selecting the triolet as your vehicle, because we haven't seen enough of the form since peter@poole left the site. I admired your repeats and rhymes. I also appreciated your reminder to make an effect to visit loved ones while we still can. Warm regards- Joan
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
Thank you for selecting the triolet as your vehicle, because we haven't seen enough of the form since peter@poole left the site. I admired your repeats and rhymes. I also appreciated your reminder to make an effect to visit loved ones while we still can. Warm regards- Joan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi Joan. I haven' t done too many triolets, my friend, so I am pleased you admired the repeats and the rhymes. Thank you for your comments and review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Mary Wakeford
What a sad poem based on an even sadder experience of yours. Your rhyming qualities are well placed and considered. Presentation of the pink lettering on black very effective for a woman's funeral. My only suggestion for change would be the typo in your sub title; they are gone a long time once they'v[e] passed.
Lovely and thoughtful.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
What a sad poem based on an even sadder experience of yours. Your rhyming qualities are well placed and considered. Presentation of the pink lettering on black very effective for a woman's funeral. My only suggestion for change would be the typo in your sub title; they are gone a long time once they'v[e] passed.
Lovely and thoughtful.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, Mary, I have fixed that typo. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yep, I could not agree with you more, Fiona.
Don't you find it a bit odd that a husband will bring flowers to his wife's funeral services, but never once would he give send her a bouquet of flowers to let her know he loved her while she was still alive?
One of life's funny little quirks...
Good work, and good luck.
~Dean
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
Yep, I could not agree with you more, Fiona.
Don't you find it a bit odd that a husband will bring flowers to his wife's funeral services, but never once would he give send her a bouquet of flowers to let her know he loved her while she was still alive?
One of life's funny little quirks...
Good work, and good luck.
~Dean
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi Dean. Thanks for that warm and generous review.
Interesting comments I have received for this one. One of my reviewers looked at this from the opposite perspective. What if they didn't like that person who was dying? What if for some reason they really wouldn't shed a tear, but be happy about someone passing. I hadn't thought of it that way. I am now writing a response triolet from that perspective.
Oh, I like your analogy of buying flowers when wife is alive. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You're very welcome, Marijke.
~Dean
Comment from evesayshi
This was such a profound rendering of a situation that happens all too frequently, unfortunately - your gentle reminder was excellent in its statement and lyric movement...
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
This was such a profound rendering of a situation that happens all too frequently, unfortunately - your gentle reminder was excellent in its statement and lyric movement...
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi eyessayshi. Thanks for that warm and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You are very welcome...
Comment from zanya
Definitely a Triolet with such a dose of reality at its heart - self-explanatory reality ! - the Triolet format with repetition lends itself admirably to the admonition 'Do not shed one single tear'
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
Definitely a Triolet with such a dose of reality at its heart - self-explanatory reality ! - the Triolet format with repetition lends itself admirably to the admonition 'Do not shed one single tear'
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi zanya. Thanks for that warm and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from AnnaLinda
Marijke,
I think you did a great job on your Triolet. I say that because
you have chosen repeating lines that make sense to repeat.
Your rhymes work really well and your overall message is
very well conveyed.
Makes me wonder if they are really crying for themselves
and the pain the deceased person brought them in their
life, because there could have been a good reason they
did not visit them...
I think this should do really well in the contest. You
also have a stunning presentation.
Linda
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
Marijke,
I think you did a great job on your Triolet. I say that because
you have chosen repeating lines that make sense to repeat.
Your rhymes work really well and your overall message is
very well conveyed.
Makes me wonder if they are really crying for themselves
and the pain the deceased person brought them in their
life, because there could have been a good reason they
did not visit them...
I think this should do really well in the contest. You
also have a stunning presentation.
Linda
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi Linda. Thank you so much for your comments and your generous review. Yes, only they will know... perhaps guilt, or as you said, they could have been hurt (I really hadn't thought of that, I may add). Thanks again, and warmest regards, Marijke :o)