Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Congrats on this win, Craig.

I read through this double Sonnet... Clever play with using Romeo and Juliet, those classic lovers of the extremes... and what would happen if they dabbled with a third. I like the way you captured the theme of Romeo and Juliet's regard for each other, but...

My brother and I were just having this conversation... not long ago, actually... right before I started reviewing this piece, he was going on about the insult that woman could just decide to switch teams, and I was laughing at him. (Was based on a song we heard at the time) Conversation went something like:

Him: --So guys could be that awful that a woman would decide they are no longer heterosexual. What hogwash. That feeds into all the rabble from the religious organizations... rabble, rabble, rabble.

Me: Uh... it's not quite the same for girls... me thinks... attraction isn't visual, it's more complicated than some black and white spectrum, more levels and shades conducive to compatibility and love. Plus... both our cousins decided to switch teams after having many children, after long fanatic chasing of the danglies, and I'm going to guess it's because the guys they chose kept pushing them down the stairs. Danglies don't look so nice.

Him: So all girls are potentially gay.

Me: that's not what I said.

Him: So you like girls?

Me: sigh. Enough guys push me down the stairs, I might weigh my options. But I really like danglies tho. However, I haven't had any girlfriends, so I'm saying if you get the right A to B comparison, you never know.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

LOL Turtle - you make my family look so boring. I would guess being pushed down the stairs enough could change your perspective on things. Girls aren't the only ones who decide way down the track to switch teams. Me, I'm approaching that stage of life where it's all theoretical.

Thanks for the review!

Craig

Comment from VaV-VOOM

Excellent

Beautiful poem my friend, don't you just love poetry? Words are so powerful. Good luck, Thanks for sharing. Write On! VaV-VOOM!

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks, vav-voom, much appreciated. Craig

reply by VaV-VOOM on 10-Apr-2016

Your welcome, great poem. VaV-VOOM!

Comment from winnona

Excellent

Interesting double sonnet. I think you did well in completing the challenge of this contest. Your words flowed together line to line creating their own rhythm and combining to send the message of the poems to the readers.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks for checking out my submission. Your remarks are gratefully received :) Craig

Comment from catch22

Excellent

HI Craig,
I thought this was very clever and an excellent entry for the contest. The meter read okay to my ear and the dialog in sonnet form was excellent. Loved the witty ending as Romeo got kicked out of the bed. I wish you much luck in the contest with this very strong entry.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thanks so much for the great review :) I think it's a case of "be careful what you wish for". Much appreciated, Craig

Comment from Rookette

Excellent

This was a comedic twist on the classic Romeo and Juliet story. This was enjoyable from start to finish. I must say I never expected that ending. Fantastic job on this!!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thanks, Rookette. Your kind words are much appreciated :) Craig

Comment from Patricia Brooks

Excellent

I love it. Brings Shakespeare down to size. And the sly turn in each perspective is just subtle enough, with the final couplet a perfect turning-inside-out of the expected. Well done!
Patricia

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thanks very much for the kind words, Patricia. Glad you liked it :) Craig

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

This is a hoot. It is actually an old joke come round again in this highly erudite form. It amazing how one can get added mileage from an old joke by turning it into poetry as I am finding with my current "Management Course" crown of sonnets. This is great fun , perfectly formed into two sonnets but the menage a trois hoped for by the author of the first turned sour by the author of the second.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thanks, PG for the kind words. I'm going to have to check out your crown (I hope that doesn't come across as something inappropriate). Much appreciated. Craig

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A very unexpected romp, very erotic and it looks like poor Romeo has to peddle his wares elswhere. Nice and smooth, "Ole Bill" couldn't have said it any better, Methinks.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016

LOL Thanks, DonandVicki, for the ringing endorsement. I don't think Ole Bill has anything to fear ;-)

Much appreciated, Craig

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

Great job on this works for me, two great sonnets on Romeo and Juliet, great job on the rhyming and rhythm, Good luck to you with this. great work.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016

Thanks, William. Much appreciated!

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Thanks again for entering, Craig.

Coincidentally, this was a theme I considered, but I was too lazy to research, as all I know is they both kicked the bucket in the end. ;-)

What's this? Romeo appears into 'threesomes'. LOL. Oh, I'm typing as I read and have just reached the end, and it appears dirty (I mean, 'great') minds think alike. Haha.

Terrific meter and rhymes throughout, plus a fun theme that unfolds, though mostly retaining a serious romantic aspect up til then.

Of course I know what you mean at the end, though, with respect, I think it could be slightly clearer. How about:

'there's only room in bed for just us two.'

Really excellent, my friend.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016

Thanks Ray. Are there any other entries? I haven't checked yet. Sorry you didn't get the inspiration you were after. I know how that feels, I'm trying to study at the moment, and the inspiration isn't happening there either - hence the poetry lol