The Reign
potlatch free verse but late19 total reviews
Comment from infinityyingyang
I thought the poem was absolutely wonderful and very profound. Some of the words went over my head and I'll have to define them and re-read the poem to get a better understanding but your message still came across powerfully.
reply by the author on 30-May-2016
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I thought the poem was absolutely wonderful and very profound. Some of the words went over my head and I'll have to define them and re-read the poem to get a better understanding but your message still came across powerfully.
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 30-May-2016
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infinityyingyang, now that is a pen name. Thank you so very much for stopping by. I am honored and I do apologize for the late response.. jlsavell
Comment from AnnaLinda
Jimi,
I hope you are feeling better by now. This poem is out of this world good:)
As you know I was here before...I'm back, but I'm not sure my brain is any
better than it was before.
This is just brilliant...Now...I just read it again and I am still without words
for this experience...I got stuck in the heavens somewhere...Please just
accept an extra star in place of any intelligent words of praise.
Linda
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Jimi,
I hope you are feeling better by now. This poem is out of this world good:)
As you know I was here before...I'm back, but I'm not sure my brain is any
better than it was before.
This is just brilliant...Now...I just read it again and I am still without words
for this experience...I got stuck in the heavens somewhere...Please just
accept an extra star in place of any intelligent words of praise.
Linda
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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You Sweet,Linda are a gem. I am so appreciative of your time, your comments, your review and the stars. I am humbled.
Jimi
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Loved it!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Jimi
Love how you molded your words of power into your free verse
This stanza impressed me very much
My agile hands mold the swell
of black angry clouds
moaning and giving birth
to the perfect storm
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hello Jimi
Love how you molded your words of power into your free verse
This stanza impressed me very much
My agile hands mold the swell
of black angry clouds
moaning and giving birth
to the perfect storm
Gert
Comment Written 08-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Gert, thank you so very much. I am honored. Jimi
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You are welcome jlsavell
Gert
Comment from honeytree
Very interesting art work and words
I guess what we believe in is very important
for us all I am impressed how you wrote this
The universe and the power beyond could be amazing.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Very interesting art work and words
I guess what we believe in is very important
for us all I am impressed how you wrote this
The universe and the power beyond could be amazing.
Honey tree
Comment Written 06-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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honeytree, thank you very much for stopping by to read and review my work. I am honored... jlsavell
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That's fine
Annie
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That's fine
Honeytree
Comment from Joan E.
I am sorry you have not been feeling well, but I am glad you shared your poem inspired by the potlach. The artwork you selected is striking and compliments your free verse well. The energy in your writing belies your being under the weather. I was in awe of your "fugue" and could hear the "faint gallop of horses" and the "child" violinest, along with seeing the vivid images--a very compelling piece!
Be back to full health soon- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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I am sorry you have not been feeling well, but I am glad you shared your poem inspired by the potlach. The artwork you selected is striking and compliments your free verse well. The energy in your writing belies your being under the weather. I was in awe of your "fugue" and could hear the "faint gallop of horses" and the "child" violinest, along with seeing the vivid images--a very compelling piece!
Be back to full health soon- Joan
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Joan E. once again Ibam very honored that you consider my work an exceptional. This wasn't written right away but in a short time. It was a most difficult challenge and it still was not what she really asked for. But I like it somewhat. Thank you so very very much! Jimi
Comment from Sis Cat
This poem may be too late for the potlatch, but it is on time for me. This is a spectacular poem, Jimi. Wind, a step-child goddess, boasts
"I play the azure skies,
finger the depth of the heavens
as an astute accomplished
composer and conductor of
exquisite music"
You continue the music metaphor as Wind ranges from a Zepher breeze to a canon of thunder. Your free verse language is ancient, harking back to Greco Roman myths where Aura was the female personification of wind. Your poem is a chorus, a symphony of words and images about wind as mortals cling to oars and pray. Boasting her power and prowess, the Wind demands:
"Let me claim my rightful place
among the women of your world."
This is an evocative poem and I am glad you took a slow precess to write it instead of rush it. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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This poem may be too late for the potlatch, but it is on time for me. This is a spectacular poem, Jimi. Wind, a step-child goddess, boasts
"I play the azure skies,
finger the depth of the heavens
as an astute accomplished
composer and conductor of
exquisite music"
You continue the music metaphor as Wind ranges from a Zepher breeze to a canon of thunder. Your free verse language is ancient, harking back to Greco Roman myths where Aura was the female personification of wind. Your poem is a chorus, a symphony of words and images about wind as mortals cling to oars and pray. Boasting her power and prowess, the Wind demands:
"Let me claim my rightful place
among the women of your world."
This is an evocative poem and I am glad you took a slow precess to write it instead of rush it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Sis Cat, as per your usual, tou humble me. And it is no surprise to you that I truly don't consider myself a real poet or even a writer. Thank you once again dear dear friend. Jimi
Comment from CD Richards
Just from a point of view of the length of your poem, you've done exceptionally well for a one hour challenge - that's a lot of verse!
You've taken a really unique approach (I think) in making the wind itself aspire to be a god(ess), and woven it very well into the tale you tell. Introducing Zeus (or Jupiter) and Neptune gives it a nice framework.
Well done, a great contribution to the challenge :)
Craig
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Just from a point of view of the length of your poem, you've done exceptionally well for a one hour challenge - that's a lot of verse!
You've taken a really unique approach (I think) in making the wind itself aspire to be a god(ess), and woven it very well into the tale you tell. Introducing Zeus (or Jupiter) and Neptune gives it a nice framework.
Well done, a great contribution to the challenge :)
Craig
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Cd Richards, wow tgank tou so much for stopping by and taking your time to read my work. And congrats on your latest win.
Jimi
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Thanks Jimi, and reading your poem was a pleasure. Looking forward to the next one!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse, if you were able to do this within an hour, it would be a great accomplishment. It took me nearly 50 minutes to come up with a poem just more than 100 words.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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A very well-written free verse, if you were able to do this within an hour, it would be a great accomplishment. It took me nearly 50 minutes to come up with a poem just more than 100 words.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Sandra, once again a big thank you!
Comment from Aussie
You really love music. Every concept of musical terms is included in your poem. The wind, what would we do without it? In the Bible, God sent the south wind to cool the land. I loved your poem and I think it is one of your very best. Cheers, K. XX
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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You really love music. Every concept of musical terms is included in your poem. The wind, what would we do without it? In the Bible, God sent the south wind to cool the land. I loved your poem and I think it is one of your very best. Cheers, K. XX
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Kace, dear friend. Thank you for you and for being always there. Love you... Jimi
Comment from Domino 2
I couldn't get inspired by this difficult theme, Jimi, but I'm having trouble getting inspired by ANYTHING lately. ;-)
I respectfully suggest you make all the stanzas much shorter (maybe 4-7 short lines maximum each), to allow the reader to pause and ponder more, as your very long stanzas appear rather formidable at present.
Maybe also consider using NO punctuation, UN-capitalising ALL words that aren't proper nouns, as they also seem inconsistently placed at the moment, where they don't even start sentences on occasions. IMHO, this offers a 'cleaner' presentation, but I realise it's a matter of taste, and I won't be offended if you disagree. ;-)
Top poetic personification of the wind, and top metaphors, too.
Excellent.
Cheers, Ray xx
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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I couldn't get inspired by this difficult theme, Jimi, but I'm having trouble getting inspired by ANYTHING lately. ;-)
I respectfully suggest you make all the stanzas much shorter (maybe 4-7 short lines maximum each), to allow the reader to pause and ponder more, as your very long stanzas appear rather formidable at present.
Maybe also consider using NO punctuation, UN-capitalising ALL words that aren't proper nouns, as they also seem inconsistently placed at the moment, where they don't even start sentences on occasions. IMHO, this offers a 'cleaner' presentation, but I realise it's a matter of taste, and I won't be offended if you disagree. ;-)
Top poetic personification of the wind, and top metaphors, too.
Excellent.
Cheers, Ray xx
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Ray, thank you dear sweet friend of mine. Will take your critique to heart.
Xoxoxoxoxo Jimi