Comment from JTStone

Excellent

I realized that I had missed this segment. I like to keep the stories complete in my head.
That was an incredible stroke of luck. I usually get stuck for hours every time I have to deal with a government office. I will be looking for the next segment, but right now I'm off to read your other story.
Jimmy

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016

Hi Jimmy, what can I say. So happy that you are following my personal tales. Yes, it is a bit of a story as well. Thanks ever so much. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Good post, Ulla. I found this browsing, and was surprised because I thought I'd fanned you. Anyhow, I shall remedy that.

Made some notes as I read:

I left the church after the funeral, when a voice rang out. A thin, mousy haired man shouted at me saying that he was my adoptive mother's lawyer and, as I was adopted before the end of 1954, I was not to inherit anything. - How utterly classless and unprofessional! Wow.


"Go ahead, and not to worry about paying. Our pleasure if we can be of help. But I better be going, so we'll have an answer sooner rather than later(.)" (A)nd with that she disappeared through the door.

I recognised () I was in good hands, and my day brightened up by several degrees. - don't need the 'that'.

and if it turns out to be a positive answer with regards to my inheritance(,)I would like to get hold of her before I fly back to London." - insert comma

At the other end, Otto laughed. - You don't really need 'At the other end'. The reader knows that already.

What a story! Look forward to the next installment.

Av

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Av, Thanks a lot for this great review. I am pleased that you came across it and that you'd fanned me. Thanks for that. I have made the changes. So happy that you like it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Serendipity!

Excellent

sprang to mind (Am I the fifth person to point out the missing (.)? This is wonderful, and yes, that is the only typo I found. I'm looking forward to what happens next.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Thanks ever so much, and it makes me laugh out loud. I never saw it and nobody else. You are indeed the first. Amazing! I am so pleased that you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)

Comment from CivilChick

Excellent

This is a very interesting story. I found myself caught up in it very quickly. I hope to read the rest of it very soon! I notice that you took care in you grammar, spelling and word choice, which is very appreciated as a reader who is easily distracted by my OCD tendencies!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016

Thank you so much. More is to follow soon. All the best. Ulla

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A good solid continuation to your story. Your ability to hold on to the readers attention is commendable. You are keeping the story line fresh.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Thank you so much for this great review. I am really pleased. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from Drew Delaney

Exceptional

This chapter turned out really well, Ulla. Didn't notice any errors. Your writing is really coming along nicely. I have not had internet connection for the last few weeks as I have moved. Should be back to normal now I hope. Take care! Drew xx

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Hi Drew, thank you so much and the lovely stars. I am so pleased. Good that you will back to normal because I'm looking out for your writing. Thanks again. All the best. Ulla xx

Comment from jpduck

Excellent

Completely fascinating. I can't wait to read about your mother's lawyer's come-uppance.

Couple of SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):

'I fiddled with an [imaginative] *imaginary* pen' (An imaginative pen would be a pen with lots of imagination (!!); an imaginary one is one that is only part of one's imagination -- unreal).

'but a little less *excitement* would also do'


Adrian

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

Hi Adrian, Thanks a lot for your great review and pointing out the two issues. I have corrected. I had to smile with the 'imaginative' pen. Well that is when it shows that English is not my first language. Thanks again. All the best. Ella

Comment from trumby

Excellent

It certainly finished on a cliff hanger. This was like cutting off a movie half-way through a fist-fight.
Very good way of building suspense and keeping a readership.
Very readable tale in its own right though, even without the gimmicks

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

Thanks a lot for this great review. All the best. Ella

Comment from Nika2016

Excellent

OK...you are leaving us hanging, again. At least we know you can inherit and will give the nasty lawyer a fight. Can't wait for the results. It must turn out, well as you seem okay. Smile

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

Thank you so much. I'm pleased that you follow my tale. All the best. Ella

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Ulla,

Had to quickly re-orientate myself as to which story I was reading! lol

Another good write here. So nice when people are actually helpful and do their job well, isn't it!

Otto laughed. "Oh Ulla, you never live a boring life, do you? - a very astute man, this Otto!

I dialled the lawyers office - lawyer's.

"Mrs Faber's Legal office, speaking." - perhaps delete 'speaking' here as it reads oddly.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

Hi G, thanks for this great review. You are so right nothing better than helpful people. I have made the two corrections and thanks for pointing them out. All the best. Ella