Comment from OnyxSapphire78

Excellent

What a creative approach for this contest. You captured the very essence of the feeling of regret. A feeling that is hard to shake. Thank you for sharing. Good luck and happy writing!

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you, OnyxSapphire78.

Comment from Tatarka2

Excellent

Heart-stopping. My only suggestion would be to perhaps re-think the first line. The conversational, questioning tone seems too colloquial for the intensity of this riveting poem. Just my opinion.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you, Tatarka2. Yeah, it does seem to be out of place, huh?

Comment from Cletus Hardiman

Excellent

Sometimes timing is everything. It is written so vividly with such emotion, that you can just feel it! Thanks for sharing with all of us on the site! Drop by and see me sometimes! Cletus ( Clete ) Hardiman

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you, Cletus Hardiman.

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Some times, sad as it is, you simply can only do so much for somebody else as this well written poignant poem clearly depicts. Should also be a good contest entry.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015

Thank you, Brett.