To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "On the Cusp At Midnight"Free Verse Poetry
16 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Oh man, this one fires on all cylinders with a healthy dose of nitrous. Full of both bragging rights and self-effacing humility, this poem struts up and down the page. The chicken or the egg- the eagle, baby!- lol. Just stay away from MY liver (Promtheus). This is you at the height of your power. Please, keep doing your thing.
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Oh man, this one fires on all cylinders with a healthy dose of nitrous. Full of both bragging rights and self-effacing humility, this poem struts up and down the page. The chicken or the egg- the eagle, baby!- lol. Just stay away from MY liver (Promtheus). This is you at the height of your power. Please, keep doing your thing.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
Comment from kiwisteveh
Well, when I was born, the King died, which makes me about two weeks younger than you, old-timer! Funny to think of living parallel lives, living through the same world events - interesting times. Not quite as startling as my grandmother-in-law whose life spanned the entire 20th century with a few years to spare!
While I think of it, should ovum be ova (the plural)?
You have certainly mixed things up in all kinds of ways here. I see word-play like miasma/paranoia/stupor; lots of humour and certainly great energy. Sneaky little jokes like 'a mountain-goat of many colours.' Speaking of colours, you spread those around too.
Lots of fun, plenty to think about - should be a contender (as you should be) in your own contest!
Steve
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Well, when I was born, the King died, which makes me about two weeks younger than you, old-timer! Funny to think of living parallel lives, living through the same world events - interesting times. Not quite as startling as my grandmother-in-law whose life spanned the entire 20th century with a few years to spare!
While I think of it, should ovum be ova (the plural)?
You have certainly mixed things up in all kinds of ways here. I see word-play like miasma/paranoia/stupor; lots of humour and certainly great energy. Sneaky little jokes like 'a mountain-goat of many colours.' Speaking of colours, you spread those around too.
Lots of fun, plenty to think about - should be a contender (as you should be) in your own contest!
Steve
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
Comment from padumachitta
Hey there, a great poem for this contest and a poem full of emotion and the travels of life...the some of us didN#t grow up so much as get dragged up...
this is a ode to a life , to the person who survived and grew ..
padumachitta
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Hey there, a great poem for this contest and a poem full of emotion and the travels of life...the some of us didN#t grow up so much as get dragged up...
this is a ode to a life , to the person who survived and grew ..
padumachitta
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
Comment from I am Cat
Dateline: San Francisco Bay
Mare Island Naval Base
(Alcatraz Island drools in envy)
January 19th, 1952
The chicken or the egg?
the Eagle, baby!
(lol, damn, where are my sixes... crap! I love this... The EAGLE baby! ;)
he jumps and flies without wings
the wind is impressed and smiles
the water is churning indignantly
mountain goats can swim
if they want to
Well ...
(they can? mountain goats can swim?) lol
and while the cat was away
Harriet made curds and whey
and therapy would be invented in the near future (where was I?)
Michael was mistaken for a girl
with golden locks and bluesy eyes
it amused him
as did insanity
and various imperfections of humanity
he appeared unaffected by the pressures
attempting to cook him
(the debate steams ahead)
(omg this is so charming... )
HIGH school wasn't for him
the crowd being stupid and he being smart
accepted by
he rejected
in secret
(Purple haze, war the craze, I left the maze)
yes, the girl, always the girl
things with strings
things with keys
things with valves and buttons
songs to sing
words to write
a world to mock
laughing at
and with
sincerely
(always the girl) ;)
this is just so great)
getting older
measured
treasured
uninterested in assessment
(or investment)
and the girl, always the girl
and the girl, always, always, the girl
lol... this just rocks... i thought I knew who I was going to vote for... damn.
now I have to reassess... Gloria made me cry... and now you have charmed me to death. what to do , what to do?
I think I'll sleep on it... damn.
;)
this just rocks the universe...
always the girl. ; and the girl, always, always, the girl
I give this a Virtual Galaxy of stars
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Dateline: San Francisco Bay
Mare Island Naval Base
(Alcatraz Island drools in envy)
January 19th, 1952
The chicken or the egg?
the Eagle, baby!
(lol, damn, where are my sixes... crap! I love this... The EAGLE baby! ;)
he jumps and flies without wings
the wind is impressed and smiles
the water is churning indignantly
mountain goats can swim
if they want to
Well ...
(they can? mountain goats can swim?) lol
and while the cat was away
Harriet made curds and whey
and therapy would be invented in the near future (where was I?)
Michael was mistaken for a girl
with golden locks and bluesy eyes
it amused him
as did insanity
and various imperfections of humanity
he appeared unaffected by the pressures
attempting to cook him
(the debate steams ahead)
(omg this is so charming... )
HIGH school wasn't for him
the crowd being stupid and he being smart
accepted by
he rejected
in secret
(Purple haze, war the craze, I left the maze)
yes, the girl, always the girl
things with strings
things with keys
things with valves and buttons
songs to sing
words to write
a world to mock
laughing at
and with
sincerely
(always the girl) ;)
this is just so great)
getting older
measured
treasured
uninterested in assessment
(or investment)
and the girl, always the girl
and the girl, always, always, the girl
lol... this just rocks... i thought I knew who I was going to vote for... damn.
now I have to reassess... Gloria made me cry... and now you have charmed me to death. what to do , what to do?
I think I'll sleep on it... damn.
;)
this just rocks the universe...
always the girl. ; and the girl, always, always, the girl
I give this a Virtual Galaxy of stars
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
Comment from Megalips
Mikey...Ravings of a literary genius...So incredibly different and wild! I love how you start with the impregnation "drunken sperm brawling down the chute"...quite possibly the most original thing I've heard or read in months. I love your whole stanza on the multicolored mountain goat (mountain goats can swim if they want to), and (later) mistaken for a girl...high school (not so great), getting older, and this collage of red ink thoughts and ideas at the end...and the girl, always the girl...Well, that's reassuring! Love it!
~meg
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Mikey...Ravings of a literary genius...So incredibly different and wild! I love how you start with the impregnation "drunken sperm brawling down the chute"...quite possibly the most original thing I've heard or read in months. I love your whole stanza on the multicolored mountain goat (mountain goats can swim if they want to), and (later) mistaken for a girl...high school (not so great), getting older, and this collage of red ink thoughts and ideas at the end...and the girl, always the girl...Well, that's reassuring! Love it!
~meg
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
Comment from justafan
No rules! No laws! Just your cup of whiskey, Mikey :) And you rock the hell out of this one hon. Loved it...can you tell :)
Missy
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No rules! No laws! Just your cup of whiskey, Mikey :) And you rock the hell out of this one hon. Loved it...can you tell :)
Missy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
Comment from LIJ Red
Goat and waterboy? You seem to be explaining your tendency to write from the dark side of the force. You seem to enjoy the freedom of this prompt, and the
result is unconventionally excellent.
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Goat and waterboy? You seem to be explaining your tendency to write from the dark side of the force. You seem to enjoy the freedom of this prompt, and the
result is unconventionally excellent.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from Linda Engel
And it made you a great, quirky person who can write. WRITE! do you realize what a gift that is with insane parents? I do. My mother was locked up for a while because my dad said she was crazy. She was crazy but he did it out of spite. Abusive and anal. HMMMM Do we see the pattern here? And we have the ability to not give a damn because we can live in our own little creative world and be nice to those who are nice to us. It makes for good writing, Mike. A crazy ass muse if I do say so. We are the lucky ones.
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And it made you a great, quirky person who can write. WRITE! do you realize what a gift that is with insane parents? I do. My mother was locked up for a while because my dad said she was crazy. She was crazy but he did it out of spite. Abusive and anal. HMMMM Do we see the pattern here? And we have the ability to not give a damn because we can live in our own little creative world and be nice to those who are nice to us. It makes for good writing, Mike. A crazy ass muse if I do say so. We are the lucky ones.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from Sasha
Absolutely marvelous work with this. Excellent presentation and filled with you usual humor and honesty. Terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best, seriously!
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Absolutely marvelous work with this. Excellent presentation and filled with you usual humor and honesty. Terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best, seriously!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from robina1978
Is that you on the photo at Christmas time? It complements your poem perfectly. You first describe your father and then your mother. P being a drunk and Mum mental. They conceived you in 1952, which makes you one year younger than I am. You did not mind the home situation so much, nor the fact that you looked like a girl.
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Is that you on the photo at Christmas time? It complements your poem perfectly. You first describe your father and then your mother. P being a drunk and Mum mental. They conceived you in 1952, which makes you one year younger than I am. You did not mind the home situation so much, nor the fact that you looked like a girl.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015