Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 88 "Tableau: Universal LAW"Poems /stories on Fanstory
9 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
Excellent sentiments about concepts that are essential to produce Harmony. Wonderful thoughts, but I'm not sure they are concrete enough to accommodate the Tableau genre. Still, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
  |
Excellent sentiments about concepts that are essential to produce Harmony. Wonderful thoughts, but I'm not sure they are concrete enough to accommodate the Tableau genre. Still, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Treischel for your review and good luck wishes, I appreciate your time to read my work ( still learning all the different genre's But having fun Cheers Christine😀
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Christine. Great work mate. How on earth do you tell such a huge story in so few words? That same thing would have taken me 600 words to get the point across, you have a lot of talent my friend. Good luck in the contest. Cheers fez
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
|
G'day Christine. Great work mate. How on earth do you tell such a huge story in so few words? That same thing would have taken me 600 words to get the point across, you have a lot of talent my friend. Good luck in the contest. Cheers fez
Comment Written 01-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
-
Thanks heaps Fez I am actually studying philosophy at the moment and have some great discussions about these very subjects in the poem so I just put them all together and this is what I came up with so glad you liked it and thanks for the good wishes Cheers Christine😀😀
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A good 6 line 5 syllable Tableau poem, and a great rule for life. If only the majority would heed your words. Love the brilliant blue setting, makes your words stand out as deserved.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
|
A good 6 line 5 syllable Tableau poem, and a great rule for life. If only the majority would heed your words. Love the brilliant blue setting, makes your words stand out as deserved.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
-
Thank you Pearl for your review and lovely words and yes wouldn't it be a different world Cheers
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello Chrissy,
It is true that the world is in our hands. I like your ~Tableau: Universal LAW~ it is about all the good qualities that affect good life in our lives.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
|
Hello Chrissy,
It is true that the world is in our hands. I like your ~Tableau: Universal LAW~ it is about all the good qualities that affect good life in our lives.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
-
Hello Gypsy Blue.Thank you for those comments I hope my message in the Tableau is clear and wouldn't it be nice if it was practiced daily. I really appreciate your continued support and enjoy your reviews Cheers Christine😀
Comment from pharp
Christine,
This is my first time reviewing this type of poetry. After researching, it appears that you have complied with the requirements for this contest entry and in doing so have entered an excellent entry for the first time at penning one. I love the message and wish you all the best. Blessings.................Portia
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
Christine,
This is my first time reviewing this type of poetry. After researching, it appears that you have complied with the requirements for this contest entry and in doing so have entered an excellent entry for the first time at penning one. I love the message and wish you all the best. Blessings.................Portia
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you Portia for reding this tableau and yes I had to research the requirements and after a few hiccups hopefully it is syllable correct . Had fun and the message was an easy one as it's the truth With thanks and Cheers Christine😀
-
Thank you Portia for reding this tableau and yes I had to research the requirements and after a few hiccups hopefully it is syllable correct . Had fun and the message was an easy one as it's the truth With thanks and Cheers Christine😀
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I am going with the higher mark this time as the edit is an easy one. Strike "If" to align the syllable count on that line and you have an awesome entry. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
I am going with the higher mark this time as the edit is an easy one. Strike "If" to align the syllable count on that line and you have an awesome entry. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Hi Mystic Angel thanks for your review and I have fixed the line ( hopefully) and glad you liked the message. As always A big thanks and cheers Christine😄
-
Hi Mystic Angel thanks for your review and I have fixed the line ( hopefully) and glad you liked the message. As always A big thanks and cheers Christine😄
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You have chosen a good topic and you have the six required lines.
-The four qualities to begin the poem are good with your theme in the third line.
-The lines that follow are good and show what man needs to do in order to have a complete life.
-The following line has 6 syllables:
"If abided by man" (abided has 3 syllables. An easy fix would be to eliminate 'If')
-One suggestion only for consideration purposes. I wonder if you had considered "Universal Themes" as opposed to laws, as the qualities you use aren't really laws, but that is strictly writer preference and is not wrong.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
-You have chosen a good topic and you have the six required lines.
-The four qualities to begin the poem are good with your theme in the third line.
-The lines that follow are good and show what man needs to do in order to have a complete life.
-The following line has 6 syllables:
"If abided by man" (abided has 3 syllables. An easy fix would be to eliminate 'If')
-One suggestion only for consideration purposes. I wonder if you had considered "Universal Themes" as opposed to laws, as the qualities you use aren't really laws, but that is strictly writer preference and is not wrong.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Hi respa1 once again many thanks for your review and comments. I have fixed the syllables (I hope) and as I did this in the early morning I may have miscounted ( once again lol) I will get it right one day ha ha. I will leave it as laws as I am studying philosophy at the moment and we talk about law as etc but do appreciate your suggestions. With thanks and Cheers Christine😃
-
Hi respa1 once again many thanks for your review and comments. I have fixed the syllables (I hope) and as I did this in the early morning I may have miscounted ( once again lol) I will get it right one day ha ha. I will leave it as laws as I am studying philosophy at the moment and we talk about law as etc but do appreciate your suggestions. With thanks and Cheers Christine😃
-
You are welcome. The changed line is very good and you have it just right! Hope you are enjoying your philosophy class. I took one and liked it very much.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Christine...
_ Excellent!
_ I've never heard of a Tableau Poem before, so I looked at the prompt.
_ Unless I misread, it says 'no artwork.'
_ Double check the rules, just to be sure. I'd hate for you to be disqualified.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
|
Hi, Christine...
_ Excellent!
_ I've never heard of a Tableau Poem before, so I looked at the prompt.
_ Unless I misread, it says 'no artwork.'
_ Double check the rules, just to be sure. I'd hate for you to be disqualified.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
-
Thanks Jax for keeping tabs on me and your continued support and advice very much appreciated, image removed Thanks a heap With Cheers
-
_ No problem.
_ I read some other ones and there was no artwork. I'm thinking, they should use artwork--it would be nice.
_ Now, I know why there wasn't any. (*<*)
Comment from JCarriger
Love the imagery of your words - lovely poem. This is the dream of every human forgetting man's nature - looking forward to God's return.
I found the second line breaking the tableau format of 5. Would dropping the word "pure" fix it perhaps? I will keep your poem in mind today as my happy thought.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
|
Love the imagery of your words - lovely poem. This is the dream of every human forgetting man's nature - looking forward to God's return.
I found the second line breaking the tableau format of 5. Would dropping the word "pure" fix it perhaps? I will keep your poem in mind today as my happy thought.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for your review JCarriger I will revise this I had wondered about this but a syllable counter gave me 5 for that line but I think I will go back to my original Love and harmony. With much appreciation keep those thoughts Cheers
-
Progress hinders perfection sometimes - syllable counter was wrong - I still count money back at the register - I don't trust what they say...haha I hate that it cost a star but poem repaired and with your talent - I'll be reading more of your work.
-
Thank you so much I will try to do justice Cheers Christine😀