Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 91 "The love within "Poems /stories on Fanstory
7 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good topic for your entry.
-It is obvious your friends and family mean a lot, as they should.
-"These precious gifts I cannot buy" is an effective line with good imagery.
-A couple of things I would look at:
* Think about the use of 'wonderful' and 'beautiful' as rhymes. They're pretty much the same sound. There are good rhyming dictionaries online. One is rhyme zone.
* You have 9 syllables in this line:
My/ friends/ and/ fam/i/ly /I/ a/dore
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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-A good topic for your entry.
-It is obvious your friends and family mean a lot, as they should.
-"These precious gifts I cannot buy" is an effective line with good imagery.
-A couple of things I would look at:
* Think about the use of 'wonderful' and 'beautiful' as rhymes. They're pretty much the same sound. There are good rhyming dictionaries online. One is rhyme zone.
* You have 9 syllables in this line:
My/ friends/ and/ fam/i/ly /I/ a/dore
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Hi respa thanks for your review and advice. I did go to rhyme zone for words to rhyme hard to find some that kept with my theme and I did run it through the syllable count several times and came with correct amount, which line do you think has 9 syllables would appreciate your feedback Cheers Christine
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It is this line:
My friends and family I adore
I just looked at the poem again. A good way to solve the problem is eliminate 'my.'
This is how the line goes as it is:
My friends and fam i ly I a dore
You might have missed 3 syllables in family. (Make sure you bookmark howmanysyllables.com). Although it is hard if you aren't sure which word it is:)
We all have a tendency to run words together when we speak, so it comes out 'famly.'
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No you are right my apology I remember when I did that line I was going to eliminate the my which I will do right now so thanks for letting me know. I am trying to meet al strict rules as much as possible and glad I have your reviews to help Cheers
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No apologies necessary. That is what FS friends are for, to help each other out. I know you are working hard on the various poetic types, and it isn't easy.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a correct stanza and syllable count by line. Your theme is wonderfully uplifting as you express the pure joy of being surrounded by love. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully with a correct stanza and syllable count by line. Your theme is wonderfully uplifting as you express the pure joy of being surrounded by love. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Thank you Mystic Angel for you encouraging review of my first Minute poem. I am pleased you think it meets the requirement of this style as. I deliberated on the correct word choice ( the theme was easy as I feel very lucky to live in a great country and have the great love of my family and friends) I am glad to have shared this with you, again your support is very much appreciated Cheers Christine
Comment from meggie13
I think this poem should be entered as a faith poem. When we believe ,in His power good blessings come our way. You are right , His gifts we can not buy we have to earn them . Good rhyme and flow. The picture used mirrors your write. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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I think this poem should be entered as a faith poem. When we believe ,in His power good blessings come our way. You are right , His gifts we can not buy we have to earn them . Good rhyme and flow. The picture used mirrors your write. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Thanks meggie13 for your review and lovely comments and good wishes for the contest. Appreciate you reading this poem cheers Christine😀
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You are very welcome , Christine. meggie:))
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You are very welcome , Christine. meggie:))
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Christine...
_ This is a really neat Minute entry.
_ Lovely sentiment and so well composed.
_ Liilia's artwork is always complements too.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Hi, Christine...
_ This is a really neat Minute entry.
_ Lovely sentiment and so well composed.
_ Liilia's artwork is always complements too.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 22-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Thank Jax for your lovely review and good wishes for the contest. I thought I would try a Minute style and this is it always fun to have a go. Kept me thinking Cheers Christine😄
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Nice very nice Chrissy..Your words came from the heart which is shown in each and every line..The rhyme was spot on..One lucky lady for sure..Thanks for sharing with us..
tk
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Nice very nice Chrissy..Your words came from the heart which is shown in each and every line..The rhyme was spot on..One lucky lady for sure..Thanks for sharing with us..
tk
Comment Written 22-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Thank you TK for you lovely words re this poem I have never tried a Minute poem before and I have great inspiration and yes very lucky I love your support as always Cheers Christine😃
Comment from pharp
Christine,
You did an excellent job in the writing of this minute poem. Your have met the requirements of the syllable count and I really like the topic you chose to write about fine message indeed my friend and an enjoyable read. Exceptionally done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blessings....................Portia
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Christine,
You did an excellent job in the writing of this minute poem. Your have met the requirements of the syllable count and I really like the topic you chose to write about fine message indeed my friend and an enjoyable read. Exceptionally done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blessings....................Portia
Comment Written 22-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Wow Portia, I'm blown away by your fabulous review and 6 stars thank you so much my friend. I tried to meet the requirements and you have given me great encouragement with Cheers Christine😃
Comment from poetadeu
These are nicely rhyming quatrains concerning
the subject of how love alone completes one's
life. A quietly fulfilling read.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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These are nicely rhyming quatrains concerning
the subject of how love alone completes one's
life. A quietly fulfilling read.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much poetedue for you lovely feedback. I have a lot of love in my life glad you enjoyed this Cheers