haiku (my face reflected)
haiku 5-7-517 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Good one. I found this very reflective! (pun intended, dear Mikey). I like the tone, imagery and meaning. Superb phonetics with medley of F sounds nicely balanced by the grounding sounds of M in my and melted.
Very fine satori line.
Personally, I would trim out the ON in that last line. it works fine, but is not 'needed' to deliver the meaning.
Just my two cents. This is excellent, nonetheless.
Best Smiles,
rd
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Good one. I found this very reflective! (pun intended, dear Mikey). I like the tone, imagery and meaning. Superb phonetics with medley of F sounds nicely balanced by the grounding sounds of M in my and melted.
Very fine satori line.
Personally, I would trim out the ON in that last line. it works fine, but is not 'needed' to deliver the meaning.
Just my two cents. This is excellent, nonetheless.
Best Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
Comment from lakeport
My face reflected, indeed that's a vey nice expressed Haiku poem, thanks for sharing it, Good luck at the contest, God bless you, Lakeport.
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My face reflected, indeed that's a vey nice expressed Haiku poem, thanks for sharing it, Good luck at the contest, God bless you, Lakeport.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2015
Comment from ann marie mazz
hi mikey
I hope this night finds you well
your format is true to form
the voice and tone are also true
you leave the reader with imagery
well done
thank you for sharing your talent
best of luck with the contest
ann marie
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hi mikey
I hope this night finds you well
your format is true to form
the voice and tone are also true
you leave the reader with imagery
well done
thank you for sharing your talent
best of luck with the contest
ann marie
Comment Written 01-Jul-2015
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Like the blue background representing water, an element. Looks like spring is near with the melted water. Good description without telling but showing. Good metaphor. I get it. The flowing water represents time and the person of interest could be anyone and the faces reflect downstream as time goes by. excellent concept, here. Nice way of showing life passing by. Now I get it after re-reading it. Very creative, imaginative. The words flow softly like a stream but message is powerful like water.
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Like the blue background representing water, an element. Looks like spring is near with the melted water. Good description without telling but showing. Good metaphor. I get it. The flowing water represents time and the person of interest could be anyone and the faces reflect downstream as time goes by. excellent concept, here. Nice way of showing life passing by. Now I get it after re-reading it. Very creative, imaginative. The words flow softly like a stream but message is powerful like water.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very nice, well thought out imagery in this haiku contest entry, Anonymous Author. A bit introspective--a little too metaphoric for some haiku purists, perhaps. But I really enjoyed the poem myself, and quite a bit. Life does have a way of passing us by very quickly, just like the rushing waters of melting snow in a fast moving mountain stream.
Excellent imagery, perfect syllable count.
Good luck with this one, "M"!
~Dean
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Very nice, well thought out imagery in this haiku contest entry, Anonymous Author. A bit introspective--a little too metaphoric for some haiku purists, perhaps. But I really enjoyed the poem myself, and quite a bit. Life does have a way of passing us by very quickly, just like the rushing waters of melting snow in a fast moving mountain stream.
Excellent imagery, perfect syllable count.
Good luck with this one, "M"!
~Dean
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
Comment from Alan K Pease
Excellent Haiku "my face reflected" following the constraints of this form of poetry precisely. Good luck for your entry in this contest.
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Excellent Haiku "my face reflected" following the constraints of this form of poetry precisely. Good luck for your entry in this contest.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
Comment from kiwijenny
Well penned my friend
My face is there too...a little more lined than before
Reflections in water are more beautiful becaise they are fleeting
As we are
God bless
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Well penned my friend
My face is there too...a little more lined than before
Reflections in water are more beautiful becaise they are fleeting
As we are
God bless
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
You did a good job with this haiku about life passing on by. Your syllable count is perfect, kigo is winter (melted water) and a satori line. I like it.
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You did a good job with this haiku about life passing on by. Your syllable count is perfect, kigo is winter (melted water) and a satori line. I like it.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
Comment from Winslow
Dear Poet,
A rather distorted image of your life I think. Look at your image it changes with the years and it does flow like a moving brook.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
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Dear Poet,
A rather distorted image of your life I think. Look at your image it changes with the years and it does flow like a moving brook.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
One of the best haiku I have read in some time. Wonderful ebgaging imagery. Then a perfect thought provoking satori. I just love rhis. I think this will be a strong entry. It has my vote!!
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One of the best haiku I have read in some time. Wonderful ebgaging imagery. Then a perfect thought provoking satori. I just love rhis. I think this will be a strong entry. It has my vote!!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015