Comment from pharp

Excellent

Beautifully written my dear, sad and touching. I am sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your mum. There is such a smooth and gentle flow within this poem that touches ones heart. I see only one thing that probably shouldn't be there, in the third stanza, third line there is the letter "I" after the word "along". Thanks for sharing, Excellent job my friend. Portia

 Comment Written 17-May-2015

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reply by the author on 17-May-2015

Thank you Portia for your lovely comments and Dads loss doesn't get any easier fo Mum. It is very sad to lose ones partner and the were very close. I will review the third stanza and make correction . I enjoy you support very much Cheers Christine😀

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Well written poem (maybe should be categorised as poetry)with excellent rhyming and story line. Your love for your father and mother shines through your words, it is a sad loss for all the family. I spotted a few things: verse 6 Mum's alone..........Mum's heart. Next to last verse, able to.......... Enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 17-May-2015

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reply by the author on 17-May-2015

Thanks Faye I have made corrections (I hope) and appreciate your review and suggestions . Can I ask what you mean by (maybe should be categorised as poetry) Cheers Christine

reply by Nosha17 on 17-May-2015

You're welcome, Christine. If you classify it as a script, which you did, people may be put off reading it, if it comes under poetry you are likely to get more reviews. Also, if you review a great deal at the beginning, you will become more well known and your poetry will be read more. I have learned over time these tricks! Faye

reply by the author on 17-May-2015

Thanks Faye I went back to see what I had done and realised my mistake have sent a message to the site to see if it can be reclassified to poem. All in the learning I guess and I have been doing a lot of review also and really enjoying all the different posts thanks for your support Cheers Christine😀

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

I am sorry for your mother's and your loss. One tip, before I forget: it is not a script but a poem. It is always harder if death comes suddenly, maybe not for you Dad but the family. You also offer your mother support when and if she needs it.

 Comment Written 17-May-2015

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reply by the author on 17-May-2015

Thank you robina1978 for you review, yes it is harder when you don't get to say"goodbye" but we are very supportive of Mum and we do share good times it has got better for her but I know her tears flow often . Thanks again Cheers Christine