Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 99 " Living In A Shadow"Dawn of Chaos
29 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Competition writing prompt.
This verse tells of not being independent.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
  |
I think this is a good entry for the Competition writing prompt.
This verse tells of not being independent.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
-
Never qualified for any contest with FS, seen poem illustrating revisions since the contest, thanking you for your generous rate and kind sentiments.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, kids have some of the most wonderful and wild imaginations, don't they?! :) A great free verse about being a child and knowing Dad will be there! ;) Thanx for sharing! ;)
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
|
Oh, kids have some of the most wonderful and wild imaginations, don't they?! :) A great free verse about being a child and knowing Dad will be there! ;) Thanx for sharing! ;)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
-
Glad certain aspects captured your interests in this write, appreciating your generous rate and touching thought.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Sometimes when you are not the only child you may be living by default under the fragile shadow of your sibling and in a way you grow up feeling unworthy or incomplete. I think this is the message I taking with me from this poem. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
|
Sometimes when you are not the only child you may be living by default under the fragile shadow of your sibling and in a way you grow up feeling unworthy or incomplete. I think this is the message I taking with me from this poem. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2020
-
A super viewpoint you have taken about this particular write, thanking you for your generous rate and shared reality.
Comment from Katelynn Barnett
Your rhythm is spot on. You have nice meter and flow. However, I don't get it. I do not even know what any of it means. I tried to look at symbolism but it didn't seem to matter how I looked at it, I just didn't get it. Perhaps I'm just not bright enough. But, I'd suggest trying to reach all readers and simplify.
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
 |
Your rhythm is spot on. You have nice meter and flow. However, I don't get it. I do not even know what any of it means. I tried to look at symbolism but it didn't seem to matter how I looked at it, I just didn't get it. Perhaps I'm just not bright enough. But, I'd suggest trying to reach all readers and simplify.
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
-
No, its me. I'm suffering grammar pits, making my writes somewhat incoherent when read, flowing revisions might enhance its read. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Possummagic
This is a lovely poem. I loved the way you stitched your words together so that it flowed gently off the tongue. Your imagery is subtle yet appropriate. I really enjoyed reading your work. PM
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
|
This is a lovely poem. I loved the way you stitched your words together so that it flowed gently off the tongue. Your imagery is subtle yet appropriate. I really enjoyed reading your work. PM
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
-
Glad aspects in this particular write were appealing to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
-
You?re welcome PM
Comment from oliver818
Nice poem, I enjoyed it. I like the way it flows and the way so much is suggested but not stated. It works well. Thanks for sharing and have a great day! Best of luck with the competition
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
|
Nice poem, I enjoyed it. I like the way it flows and the way so much is suggested but not stated. It works well. Thanks for sharing and have a great day! Best of luck with the competition
Comment Written 05-May-2019
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
-
Thanking you for your statement, inspiring views of hope, wishing some of it holds true for my presentation. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from Beri Bee
Children both make up of self dreaming, is just one example of an amazing line that brilliantly states something sensed in a deeply insightful way. I picture a timid, vulnerable, precious child here.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
|
Children both make up of self dreaming, is just one example of an amazing line that brilliantly states something sensed in a deeply insightful way. I picture a timid, vulnerable, precious child here.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
-
Yeah, being all lives, having mates, yielding children, running neck and neck, surprising similarities between parties. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from kiwijenny
There's something comforting about standing beside your dad's shadow...especially when he scoops you up in his arms...you've cut your foot on a jagged glass bottle and he saves the day
God bless. It's good
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
|
There's something comforting about standing beside your dad's shadow...especially when he scoops you up in his arms...you've cut your foot on a jagged glass bottle and he saves the day
God bless. It's good
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
-
Yeah, finding delights viewing a youth with father, pleased aspects in this write were appealing to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Maria Millsaps
Hello, I found this poem very interesting.
Without knowing much about the writer's experiences, when I read this poem, I sense trauma. Trauma that began as an infant.
Recommendations:
Child uncertain hid, silent him not a hark,
being independent, not loud spoke bark.
It would read better if you consider reframing
"being independent, a loud bark."
Nice poem with a lot of twist and turns, but in the end, it speaks of the trust children put on adults.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
|
Hello, I found this poem very interesting.
Without knowing much about the writer's experiences, when I read this poem, I sense trauma. Trauma that began as an infant.
Recommendations:
Child uncertain hid, silent him not a hark,
being independent, not loud spoke bark.
It would read better if you consider reframing
"being independent, a loud bark."
Nice poem with a lot of twist and turns, but in the end, it speaks of the trust children put on adults.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
-
Me personally yes, failing at conveying intents desired in this write, learning and improving my work, thanks to reviewers, as self, given comments. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from CathyM
I liked this poem and yet I was confused. I felt the shadow was a father figure yet he stayed in the shadows and the child did not know where she/he stood. Please help me understand. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
|
I liked this poem and yet I was confused. I felt the shadow was a father figure yet he stayed in the shadows and the child did not know where she/he stood. Please help me understand. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
-
Yeah , my writes suffers pits, given revisions are aiding intents tried, in this particular write, comparison between child and adult, adult acting as a child. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.