Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Winner"Assorted poetry
22 total reviews
Comment from E. Ronin
I like your stylistic rhyme sequences of the first two lines, followed by rhyming last three lines in every stanza. Your poem is an exciting personality sketch of someone...Nicely done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015
   |
I like your stylistic rhyme sequences of the first two lines, followed by rhyming last three lines in every stanza. Your poem is an exciting personality sketch of someone...Nicely done!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from mfowler
This is a very funny, but sad piece simultaneously. You tell the story of a gal whose friends spent her winnings and left her to drown, drunk in a swimming pool. Your clever use of language (ie cause she drank the 'sham-pag-nee') gave the poem a light hearted mood, while still reporting a sad gal's death. Well written and very entertaining.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
|
This is a very funny, but sad piece simultaneously. You tell the story of a gal whose friends spent her winnings and left her to drown, drunk in a swimming pool. Your clever use of language (ie cause she drank the 'sham-pag-nee') gave the poem a light hearted mood, while still reporting a sad gal's death. Well written and very entertaining.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, Mark, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from dmt1967
This poem reminded me of Whitney Houston over dose. I thought at the time, what a waste. This is a black humor sort of poem. It is very well written and funny, although the topic is tragic. Thank you for sharing my friend.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
|
This poem reminded me of Whitney Houston over dose. I thought at the time, what a waste. This is a black humor sort of poem. It is very well written and funny, although the topic is tragic. Thank you for sharing my friend.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from scd41
Lady Luck has her strange ways of distributing luck. Or else, why should she choose Amber Huesta? She must had her last laugh when AmHoo was stripped of all her possessions. Your poem sends a strong message: 'A fool and his money are soon parted.'
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
|
Lady Luck has her strange ways of distributing luck. Or else, why should she choose Amber Huesta? She must had her last laugh when AmHoo was stripped of all her possessions. Your poem sends a strong message: 'A fool and his money are soon parted.'
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from emkoutny
I love this! The picture really pulls it together too. I am from Michigan also, and have seen this sight too many times to count. I like how you used dialect. It was very funny and reminded me of the Beverly Hillbillies.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
 |
I love this! The picture really pulls it together too. I am from Michigan also, and have seen this sight too many times to count. I like how you used dialect. It was very funny and reminded me of the Beverly Hillbillies.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from Pantygynt
It ought to have made me cry for the poor thing but the way you tell 'em, Bill, well I just laughed until the end, and that brought me up with a round turn that told me it was time to shed a tear for poor Amber.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
It ought to have made me cry for the poor thing but the way you tell 'em, Bill, well I just laughed until the end, and that brought me up with a round turn that told me it was time to shed a tear for poor Amber.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for giving this a look. I guess Amber's is a sad story. If I win the lotto I'll stay away from champagne.
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hi, Bill,
Well, this one put a smile on my face but had me shaking my head at the same time.
You make some great points in this piece; like having all those friends around when you have money. But on the day it runs out, it quickly becomes quite lonely...like you express in the last stanza with, "unpaid bills" and "empty chairs".
Good observations in an excellent delivery...it was a pleasure!
Have a great day, Bill
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Hi, Bill,
Well, this one put a smile on my face but had me shaking my head at the same time.
You make some great points in this piece; like having all those friends around when you have money. But on the day it runs out, it quickly becomes quite lonely...like you express in the last stanza with, "unpaid bills" and "empty chairs".
Good observations in an excellent delivery...it was a pleasure!
Have a great day, Bill
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, Ridley, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Ekim777
Humor is a good yardstick for measuring literary work . This one might go down better if it was honed into a couple of traditional limericks. Our poet jugglers the language like a circus performer. I think our tragic heroine might be too ordinary to handle the load. Let us remember that the characters are the action in a literary work. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Humor is a good yardstick for measuring literary work . This one might go down better if it was honed into a couple of traditional limericks. Our poet jugglers the language like a circus performer. I think our tragic heroine might be too ordinary to handle the load. Let us remember that the characters are the action in a literary work. -Ekim777
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
I'm not quite sure where I stand with this review. It seems to say excellent, but not what it could be. It isn't a character study; it's just a quick poem.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo that complements your poem perfectly. It really tells a story about a female that drank too much. I loved the slang in it. She lost most friends. And then she was found drowned, I think in her hot tub. Surrounded by unpaid bills and unknown pills. Outside Beverly Hills of all places. It rhymes and flows well.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Excellent photo that complements your poem perfectly. It really tells a story about a female that drank too much. I loved the slang in it. She lost most friends. And then she was found drowned, I think in her hot tub. Surrounded by unpaid bills and unknown pills. Outside Beverly Hills of all places. It rhymes and flows well.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, Ine, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Kingsland
This was a very humorous piece of poetic thoughts. I liked how you played with words in this piece. This was a well written poem that was easy to read and the humor was delightful as well. I enjoyed partaking of this excellent piece of poetic art... John
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
This was a very humorous piece of poetic thoughts. I liked how you played with words in this piece. This was a well written poem that was easy to read and the humor was delightful as well. I enjoyed partaking of this excellent piece of poetic art... John
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, John, for the excellent review. Bill