Beautiful Mouth
100 word dash contest39 total reviews
Comment from scd41
Like me, some other readers must have also got fooled in the beginning by the ploy of your 100 word contest entry. You deserved the prize. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
Like me, some other readers must have also got fooled in the beginning by the ploy of your 100 word contest entry. You deserved the prize. Congratulations!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
-
Thank you scd. Sorry for the delay in responding... John
-
Thank you scd. Sorry for the delay in responding... John
Comment from acerisestory
Your 100 word dash certainly had me going. I read the first two lines, then stopped to look for the sexual content warning. :) A very clever story, I must say.
Very well written, non-erotic write, JMDG1954.
Congralations on your win! It is well deserved. Take care. Alana
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
Your 100 word dash certainly had me going. I read the first two lines, then stopped to look for the sexual content warning. :) A very clever story, I must say.
Very well written, non-erotic write, JMDG1954.
Congralations on your win! It is well deserved. Take care. Alana
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
-
Thank you do much for a great review
Always appreciated.
John
Comment from Dashjianta
This is a clever play on words, misleading the reader into thinking something other than a visit to the dentist is going on.
However, once you strip it down, there's no real conflict/resolution to the story, so whilst it is clever, it didn't really engage me. (Just my personal reaction, of course.)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
This is a clever play on words, misleading the reader into thinking something other than a visit to the dentist is going on.
However, once you strip it down, there's no real conflict/resolution to the story, so whilst it is clever, it didn't really engage me. (Just my personal reaction, of course.)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
-
No problem. Many other readers voted and I won the contest. Sometimes one reads for enjoyment and not necessarily in "review" mode.
Site stipulates reviews of 4 stars and under should include corrections and suggestions. Yours would be...?
-
That it needs some conflict and resolution to turn it from a clever play on words to a story.
Comment from rspoet
A clever dash in one hundred words. A lot to fit in, in such a small space.
Congratulations on the win. Well written, good surprise ending.
Excellent
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
A clever dash in one hundred words. A lot to fit in, in such a small space.
Congratulations on the win. Well written, good surprise ending.
Excellent
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, rs. I appreciate it very much.
John
Comment from Tatarka2
So clever. Congratulations on having won this contest. It's well-deserved, with this surprising entry. I can't think of a thing I would suggest you change. Again, congratulations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
So clever. Congratulations on having won this contest. It's well-deserved, with this surprising entry. I can't think of a thing I would suggest you change. Again, congratulations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
-
Thank you, Tatarka2.
Glad you stopped by.
John
Comment from Zebeljan
hahaha! i love it. i was really confused as to were it was going. i was thinking "theres no warning as to mature content" a really well done piece my friend. congratulations on your win
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
hahaha! i love it. i was really confused as to were it was going. i was thinking "theres no warning as to mature content" a really well done piece my friend. congratulations on your win
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
Thank you very much, Z, I appreciate you taking the time to read SNF review this.
Also, I thank you for the generous six starcreward. John
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Very cute, certainly a surprise ending. Congratulations on the win.
You took the prompt and followed it through smoothly. It doesn't seem at all to be "chopped" to make the 100 words.
The picture was perfect to go with it!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
Very cute, certainly a surprise ending. Congratulations on the win.
You took the prompt and followed it through smoothly. It doesn't seem at all to be "chopped" to make the 100 words.
The picture was perfect to go with it!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
For all the good accolades and any ommision on improvement (as required), I'm surprised with the four stars.
Hey. I won the contest.
John
-
Sorry, John. Sometimes i put one thing on the stars and it registers something else. That's what happens when you use an iPad. Go back and check. I changed it! So sorry, I loved the story.
-
I completely understand. I use my iPhone to do most of my FanStory work and it is a pain. Thank you.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Clever use of words to create a situation of double entendre. Good job of carrying the charade through to the end, when the dentist office setting is finally revealed. Made me smile.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
Clever use of words to create a situation of double entendre. Good job of carrying the charade through to the end, when the dentist office setting is finally revealed. Made me smile.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
Debbie, I'm glad it made you smile. John
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
a clever 100 word dash,
keeping us guessing throughout,
until the little twist in the tail
at the end.
no wonder it was the winner - congratulations, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
a clever 100 word dash,
keeping us guessing throughout,
until the little twist in the tail
at the end.
no wonder it was the winner - congratulations, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
Thank you very much. Margaret. I appreciate your stopping to read. John
Comment from billscott
Clever. Very clever play on words. I wonder how many men rated you. My guess is, more than women did. LOL.
Yes, I'm a guy.
How could I not appreciate your oral effort?
LOL
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
Clever. Very clever play on words. I wonder how many men rated you. My guess is, more than women did. LOL.
Yes, I'm a guy.
How could I not appreciate your oral effort?
LOL
Comment Written 05-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
-
Than you Bill for that great review. John