Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

At first the reviews and critique bothered me cuz of course I'm the best writer. Hello I just used the word cuz! LOL. But over time you learn to appreciate it and become humbled. Right now I'm waiting for member dollars to promote. I've been away again so do I catch up or do I go after those member dollars. I wrote something I wanna publish on my wedding day so maybe I'll just save up. I might post in 19 days. LOL. Now you have something to look forward to :)

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015

I do! Oh, those will be your words. Hope you have a photo to include with your post. Nineteen days and you'll be official.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

This is a great effort on your part. Everything you wrote is so true. Good job and thanks for sharing. The picture is perfect. No changes needed for this poem. 'Sorry I did not see it earlier.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015

Thanks, janny. I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from amada

Good

I think yours was a very good response to this muted stuff. There is a nice play of words between writers and mute kill. It makes sense. I wish you the best in your writing.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

Thanks, amada. Appreciate you're taking time to read and review.

Comment from GregoryCody

Exceptional

Ahh finally a REAL senryu. This is great! Mute kill. Wow great choices. I'm sorry I can't write more, I'm at work. But...I love it and you!


By the way. Read the entries. I didn't find one true senryu

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

This is interesting. I couldn't think of a good last line until the contest was over! Originally I came up with mute proof. Then out of the blue it occurred to me the idea of road kill. The rest is history. Anyway, your six shows I made the right word choice at last. I did get more votes than I expected. LOL

Love you too,
Shari

Comment from scd41

Excellent

You have nicely cited in the first two lines how one could be muted in FS.The third line did not deliver the punch. Best of luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015

I totally agree. I entered the contest and then couldn't come up with a good satori. I did go back and change one word. Not sure if it works any better. :-)

Comment from Donovan

Excellent

Clever. I think it is pointed piece. Not sure people outside of Fan Story would get it, but maybe. What I like about this is in the few words you paint a much larger picture. wannabe writers....silenced....great visual words.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

Thanks, Donovan. Good point about others getting it. I think the contest is aimed for FS members. Will check it out.

reply by Donovan on 16-Mar-2015

It was for Fan Story...I am the one that did not read....I hope you win.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

Smile :-)

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Know-it-all reviews by those "stars" of FS do not appeal to anyone. I say give everyone 5's, exceptional writes sixers, skip the ones you don't like, suggest changes gently and kindly, and move on. Three cheers for the mute button.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

I hear you. For the most part that is what's happening.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

A very good senryu
Great photo to poem match
Nice alliteration
Six syllable on last line, but not a problem to me
'Victims' is a good reflection on the practice of muting
Nice job

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

Thanks for
pointing out the extra syllable. It would have eliminated my entry!

Comment from mauial

Good

Maybe some are muted by jealousy, I don't know, but spiteful, I think so. The prompt calls for a 5-7-5 and yours is a 4-7-2, so you might want to edit before deadline.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

Thank you so much for noting this in time for me to fix it. This wouldn't be the first time I forgot to check rules. :-)

Comment from Cajungirl

Excellent

This is really great. I give you an excellent review because I liked the poem. But, I must say it does not meet the requirements of a 5 7 5 poem. Your syllable count is off on lines 1 and 3. Please read the prompt's requirements,

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015

Thanks, Cajun. I rewrote and it's reads better too. So glad you liked it.

reply by Cajungirl on 17-Mar-2015

Great re-write. Love it!

reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015

Thanks, Cajungirl. I appreciate that. Better late than never. :-)