Nature's Poetic Voice.
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Magic Light Show."A sensory appreciation of nature.
10 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
I really liked this take on thunderstorms. Original language with visual mind pictures and almost auditory responses. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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I really liked this take on thunderstorms. Original language with visual mind pictures and almost auditory responses. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much GracieAnn.
In Australia we are bracing for the storm/cyclone season
which is worst in summer.
I appreciate your review.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Sam Mendonca
Excellent poem describing something that I don't care for.
Thunder and lightening. (Smile)
The photo certainly goes well with the poem.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Excellent poem describing something that I don't care for.
Thunder and lightening. (Smile)
The photo certainly goes well with the poem.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you Shirley.
Your most generous review is truly appreciated.
I will cherish it.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Selina Stambi
At last the rain begins to ease
Whilst cooler air is sure to please
Now I can see the moon on high
Storm clouds no longer cloud the sky .. this could be an allegory for life, too, I think.
Shirley, you paint such a lovely picture - the grandeur of the storm in all its glory and the ensuing calm and peace.
Love the regular rhyme scheme and the steady metre.
God bless you, dear. Have a great weekend.
Love,
Sonali :)
Storm clouds no longer cloud the sky ... how about ... no longer hide/mask the sky ... to avoid repeating the word 'clouds' ...?
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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At last the rain begins to ease
Whilst cooler air is sure to please
Now I can see the moon on high
Storm clouds no longer cloud the sky .. this could be an allegory for life, too, I think.
Shirley, you paint such a lovely picture - the grandeur of the storm in all its glory and the ensuing calm and peace.
Love the regular rhyme scheme and the steady metre.
God bless you, dear. Have a great weekend.
Love,
Sonali :)
Storm clouds no longer cloud the sky ... how about ... no longer hide/mask the sky ... to avoid repeating the word 'clouds' ...?
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you for a lovely review.
I agree with your suggestion and changed cloud to rule.
Shirley
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That's perfect!
Comment from l.raven
HI Shirley, I love storms...I love the sound of thunder and lightings...it has a music of it's own...your poem lets you feel every flash...sooooooooo very well written...and I love the picture...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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HI Shirley, I love storms...I love the sound of thunder and lightings...it has a music of it's own...your poem lets you feel every flash...sooooooooo very well written...and I love the picture...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thanks Linda.
I am in awe of the beauty and raw power of storms but also very
aware of the devastation they can wreak.
I appreciate your kind review.
Shirley
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you are so welcome Shirley...love xxoo
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a telling poem that the author has created with this piece of work. Nature is certainly full of wonders and we haven't even scratched the surface yet.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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This is a telling poem that the author has created with this piece of work. Nature is certainly full of wonders and we haven't even scratched the surface yet.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thanks Tomes.
I appreciate your review.
It is true that nature is powerful beyond what we can comprehend.
However, it is often what man does with this power that is even more
of a threat to mankind.
Shirley
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Yes indeed
Comment from nancy_e_davis
What a picture! WOW! I just bet you do have some violent storms down there in Australia! Is it the rainy season now?
I remember one of you mentioning you were in a drought. Shirley, I really like your poem but it needs quite a bit of tweaking. The meter is off in line's 5,6,10,11,and 15. Line nine needs an extra syllable, 'The' at the beginning will fix that. It IS a very nice poem my friend but can be improved on. This is only an observation and suggestions I hope it doesn't upset you My friend. Hugs. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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What a picture! WOW! I just bet you do have some violent storms down there in Australia! Is it the rainy season now?
I remember one of you mentioning you were in a drought. Shirley, I really like your poem but it needs quite a bit of tweaking. The meter is off in line's 5,6,10,11,and 15. Line nine needs an extra syllable, 'The' at the beginning will fix that. It IS a very nice poem my friend but can be improved on. This is only an observation and suggestions I hope it doesn't upset you My friend. Hugs. Nancy
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Thank you Nancy.
Review comments are always welcome.
I have taken your suggestion into account and tweaked the poem.
I am happy with the result.
Yes, even coastal Australia is suffering the effects of prolonged drought conditions. The amount of rain received from most storms cools the air and wets the top soil but we need soaking rain to break the drought and then frequent follow up rain to maintain soil moisture.
Severe storms in spring/summer are always a possibility. Two days ago a huge storm front tore through Brisbane in Queensland and has caused 100 million dollars plus in damages.
:-) Shirley
Comment from adewpearl
lightshow - light show
solid rhyming couplets
good consonance in light illuminates
I love the description of downpipes
leaking like fountains
strong sensory appeal to senses not limited to the visual
love the turn in mood in your closing couplet :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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lightshow - light show
solid rhyming couplets
good consonance in light illuminates
I love the description of downpipes
leaking like fountains
strong sensory appeal to senses not limited to the visual
love the turn in mood in your closing couplet :-) Brooke
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Thank you Brooke. I appreciate your review comments.
I have tweaked it after comments from another reviewer.
Shirley
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Shirley,
I remember being at work quite a few years ago and looking out the window as lightning struck a tree, split it down the middle, and then shattered pieces went everywhere!
Something to see---the powerful force of nature. You penned it well in your poem.
Big Thanksgiving day here yesterday----all the cooking and playing with the twins exhausted me. I was in bed by 8:00! I woke up at 1:00 a.m., so thought I'd see what mischief I could get into on my computer! LOL.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Hi, Shirley,
I remember being at work quite a few years ago and looking out the window as lightning struck a tree, split it down the middle, and then shattered pieces went everywhere!
Something to see---the powerful force of nature. You penned it well in your poem.
Big Thanksgiving day here yesterday----all the cooking and playing with the twins exhausted me. I was in bed by 8:00! I woke up at 1:00 a.m., so thought I'd see what mischief I could get into on my computer! LOL.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Thank you Jax.
As always I do appreciate your lovely reviews.
It must have been so lovely to have the family together for thanksgiving celebrations. Our family get togethers are for birthdays and Christmas Day. Guess that means a big one is coming up. 11 adults, and 5 under sixers ( from newborn to almost six.) Fun times. Lol.
I love to read the mischief you write so bring on the late nights/early morns.
Still waiting for baby-any day now.
:-) Shirley
Comment from tbacha58
Suddenly the rain is easing
Cooler air is surely pleasing
Moon and stars are glowing on high
A mighty storm has passed on by
Hi Shirley, you did an excellent work here, your picture is striking, your description of the coming storm is so well penned, and your rhyming elevated the standard of your poem. Very nice. Bravo. Love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Suddenly the rain is easing
Cooler air is surely pleasing
Moon and stars are glowing on high
A mighty storm has passed on by
Hi Shirley, you did an excellent work here, your picture is striking, your description of the coming storm is so well penned, and your rhyming elevated the standard of your poem. Very nice. Bravo. Love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Thank you Terry.
Your review is so positive and uplifting.
I appreciate your support.
:-) Shirley
Comment from Cindy Warren
Ah, you have me wishing for a thunderstorm. I love the feel and smell of the air afterwards. You've captured that in your poem. All we're getting here is snow and more snow. I could do without that.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Ah, you have me wishing for a thunderstorm. I love the feel and smell of the air afterwards. You've captured that in your poem. All we're getting here is snow and more snow. I could do without that.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
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Thank you Cindy.
I appreciate your review stars and comments.
I'm for Australia and it has been extrremely dry for many months. This was a second of relief.
:-) Shirley